


The Honeymoon is Over

by portlandborn



Series: Adventures in Being a Peralta [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-01 11:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portlandborn/pseuds/portlandborn
Summary: Jake and Amy return from their honeymoon and something happens that could change things forever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments if you like this!!

Jake and Amy

“Ames!” Jake was yelling while he scrambled through the apartment looking for his badge. “I’m so truly screwed if I can’t find it!”

“Jake why isn’t it in your nightstand like normal?” Amy left the bathroom putting in her earrings giving him the normal disapproving look he received whenever he misplaced something.

“Ames, if I knew that, I wouldn’t be freaking out and yelling. I thought it was there when we left on our honeymoon, and now, the stupid thing has vanished.” Jake was on the floor peering under the bed with his work shirt and tie on, but still in his boxers. “I checked all my shirts and pants, I looked in the laundry, it’s gone and I’m gonna get a major Holt lecture, not how I wanted to start things after our sexcation.”

“Babe! You promised you wouldn’t call it that. If you would just follow the after-work check list like I do, you wouldn’t have this problem.”

Jake moaned, “I’m sorry for the comment, and I love you, but I could never follow such an OCD type routine, you know me.”

“I do, that’s why I keep trying to get you to change, but you’re right, you could never follow a list like that.”

Amy walked over to the closet and picked up Jake’s favorite work sneakers, “Jake, it was in your dress Vans.”

Jake shook his head as he stood up, “Shit, I don’t even remember that.”

Amy’s eyes narrowed as she watched her husband sweat and look like he might pass out, “Jake, what’s going on? And don’t say nothing because you are not acting like yourself.”

Jake sat on the bed, still in his boxers and work shirt, he sighed as he looked up his wife of two weeks, “last night, we got home, we were going through our mail, and it hit me when I saw all the cards addressed to us both, I’m Mr. Peralta.”

Amy smirked at him, “Jake, Babe, you’ve been Mr. Peralta, but I know what this is about, relax, you’re not your dad.”

Jake rolled his eyes a little, “You don’t know that, my mom says my dad was great at first.”

Amy sat down on the bed next to him, “Jake Peralta, if you were anything like your father, I would never have married you, or dated you.” Amy kissed him and stood up, “now let’s get going or we will be late, and stop this nonsense, you are nothing like Roger.”

The walk to work was quieter than normal, Amy did her best to keep the conversation light, but Jake was determined to worry and fret. By the time they reached the Nine-Nine, Jake was sweating and looked miserable.

Amy exhaled sharply and grabbed Jake to the side before they entered the building, “Jake, Jake! Look at me. This is ridiculous, just because we’re married now doesn’t mean you’re going to be your dad, according to your mom, he had cheated on her before they got married, so maybe he acted great at the house, but he was still a cheater and a man-whore as you call him.”

Jake shrugged, “I guess, and that’s disturbing to know, but still, you deserve so much better than a Peralta, we’re the worst.”

Amy reached out and held her hand to his cheek and peered deeper and more intensely into his eyes, “Jake, you are everything I want and need, more than I deserve, you are great in ways you don’t even understand, immature, yes, a financial nightmare, yes, but improving, but you are also the most thoughtful, intelligent man I know. End of story.” Amy kissed him quickly than took his hand and led him into the station. By the time Amy exited the elevator for her floor, Jake felt better and remembered how much he liked his wife in a full uniform, while still very glad he didn’t have to wear his.

The morning was filled with paperwork and briefings on cases he was being assigned to, it was the type of thing he normally found extremely off putting and boring, but he had actually missed police work and was glad to be back and getting filled in. By the time his lunch break arrived, he was in a remarkably good mood for not having left the Nine-Nine all morning, he was humming Mama Said Knock You Out when he went down a floor to see if Amy could leave for lunch with him.

The uniformed officers’ bullpen was mostly empty, just the receptionist and officer Lou were there, Lou smiled at Jake and pointed towards the conference room. The door was just barely ajar, so Jake could listen without being seen. As he approached, he could hear Amy almost shouting.

“The Nine-Nine will not be known for idiot police officers who make inappropriate comments to women, we will not be known for idiot officers who pull over drivers for being black! Do not complain or make excuses, we are better than this, we will not have repeats of this or weekends will be lost to sensitivity training, overtime will disappear, and suspensions will be handed out. The two officers involved are not here, they are already suspended, but many of you knew what they were doing and said nothing, that is just as bad because it allows it to happen when it could have been taken care of. We ARE New York’s finest, and we WILL act like it, start now. Dismissed.”

Jake looked the other way as the officers filed out of the conference room with looks of fear on their faces, when he was sure everyone had left the room but Amy, he quietly entered the room, Amy saw him and shook her head.

“Did you hear all that?”

Jake shrugged, “the last bit, gotta say, it was hot.”

Amy shook her head, “not now horndog, it was gross, and it pisses me off. My officers harassing women and minorities, my officers Jake. I’m glad you like a strong woman, but now is not the time.”

Jake saluted, “well, is it time for lunch?”

Amy allowed a slight grin to form, “that I can allow, but I get to choose, it’s a street meat day.”

Jake nodded, “no argument, my morning was easy.”

As they walked to her favorite gyro stand, Amy explained to Jake that one of her officers, Officer Stan Miller, had three complaints of hitting on women during routine traffic violations, which they all disputed even happened, all three were blonde women between the ages of 18 and 25. Another officer, Officer Cathy Denning had pulled over an astounding number of minorities, all young men, and searched their vehicles. Jake added a “that sucks” or a “unbelievable” every now and then, but just let his wife vent and tell him about her stressful morning.

As they sat on a bench and ate, Jake ate with one hand while one arm was around Amy as she nuzzled close to him, feeling relieved that normal Jake was back now, so he could help Amy while she was stressed. As they finished, Jake silently collected all their garbage and stood up to throw it away, he walked to the corner to toss in their garbage when he heard tires screeching behind him, he turned around to see a white van speeding away. Jake shook his head and thought to himself that it was somebody else’s problem, but as he returned to the bench, Amy was gone and Armin, the Gyro vender was on the street unconscious. Jake, on instinct, took his gun out, as he started towards Armin, a few bystanders came up to them.

One woman, who Jake recognized as she worked in the office building next door, ran up to him, “officer, they took the woman in the uniform, the grabbed her from behind and took off in that van.”

Jake got on his radio and called it in. He then found himself on the sidewalk, gun and radio in hand, and with no idea where his wife was.

Amy

Her head throbbed, she tried to open her eyes, but they were covered, and she couldn’t move her hands or legs at all. She felt very confused, then things began to add up, the last thing she remembered was watching Jake take their garbage, then she had a faint memory or inkling of being grabbed from behind, then darkness.

She could hear the sound of a car driving, she knew she was on the floor of a vehicle, and she could tell they were currently on a bridge, as she tried to think what bridge it could be, the noise stopped and within seconds, she could feel the vehicle turn and go up a slight incline, followed by the slamming of a door or gate. She then felt the vehicle stop and heard the doors open, she was being moved, she heard them communicate that she was awake, she was then forced to walk several feet and then heard a door close.

Amy could sense through the blindfold that the room was very bright, before she could think anything else about it, she was forced into a chair and tied tightly to it. She wasn’t sure how long it was, but she sat in silence for some time. Her mind couldn’t begin to fathom who would take her, many people disliked police, and she was in full uniform, but kidnapping an officer was big league crime and not likely to be a random act, she had to have some connection to the kidnappers, through her own cases or Jake’s. The room smelled sterile, meaning it had been scrubbed and prepped, which implied these people knew what they were doing.

Amy’s thoughts then turned to Jake, while she was in danger, it saddened her to think of Jake, who would likely blame himself for this, he would be wracked by guilt and not sleep or probably eat until he found her, if he could find her. 

As she worried about Jake, the door opened, she could hear the footsteps of what had to be several people, no one touched her, she could smell no whiffs of cologne or perfume, whoever had her, they were serious, and they were good.

A gentle but firm voice then started talking, a man’s voice, but hard to place, no accent, monotone, probably by choice, and soft.

“Sergeant Peralta, you know by now that you have been kidnapped, and that we are not common criminals. We hope your stay with us will be short lived, but that will depend on others, cooperate, and you should be unharmed. Your blindfold will remain intact, but we will come to feed you later. Do not try to escape, that would end badly for you.”

Amy took a deep breath, “why are you doing this, what do you want?”

The man answered without a breath or noise, “our reasons will remain a secret for now, just know we intend you no harm, but you are in the middle of something, an unfortunate coincidence, but that is all for now.”

Before Amy could think of a response or any other questions, she heard footsteps and then the closing of the door, she was certain she was alone again. Her worries for Jake increased, if she was in the middle of something, it was most likely dealing with him, his cases had a bad habit of wreaking havoc on his personal life. Since she had known him he had been kidnapped, placed in witness protection, and wrongfully imprisoned as results of his work. This though, this would push him over the edge, Amy knew that despite his worries about himself, he loved her, deeply.

It scared her at first in their relationship, because she knew it would end up in marriage, and she was unsure how that would affect her career, but now, she knew she was his world, he had told her this on many occasions. She sighed as she fought back emotions, she needed to keep her wits about her and calculate a plan and then whether that plan would be too risky. The kidnapper had been correct, the people she was dealing with were not common criminals, they were experts, and this meant an increased danger to herself if she tried and failed to escape. Hours must have passed, her muscles were tight, she began to feel fatigue as she drifted off to sleep.

Jake

The afternoon was a blur, the detective’s bullpen a flurry of activity, yet at the same time, he could hear almost nothing, his every thought and all his energy were being used in thinking of any possible way to help Amy. Traffic cameras showed the van, there were no plates on it, and then within minutes, the footage of traffic cameras was littered with seven white vans with no plates, whoever took her, knew how to evade the police without being detected. Jake’s mind went to Amy’s cases, who could want revenge, his thoughts then went to his own cases, this seemed more likely for the luck he had experienced in his career.

His mind raced through different high profiles arrests and cases, Doug Judy, Melanie Hawkins, Jimmy Figgis, the Iannucci family. None of them seemed likely as Hawkins and Figgis were in jail and the Iannucci family was dismantled, and Doug Judy, the Pontiac Bandit would mess with Jake, but kidnapping was not his thing.

Jake lifted his head from his hands and wondered when and how he had entered the evidence locker and sat down, but it didn’t matter where he was, his only thought was to help his wife. Since they had gotten together, dated, gotten engaged, and been married, Jake had often thought about the dangers of their jobs, he tried to not think about it, but he always knew if something happened to her, his Ames, his partner in life and former partner at work, that he would not be able to continue, this was too much. She had sustained minor injuries, the occasional threat, like the one at their wedding, but this felt like it was his fault to him, his cases always ended up in life altering mayhem.

He took out his phone and scanned through some of their honeymoon pictures, Amy was all smiles in all of them, except for the one when she was undressing, his mind wandered to that moment, when they had arrived at their hotel in Puerto Rico. Jake had been filled with desire, but more filled with a contentment he had never known, to be legally bound to who he could only call the woman of his dreams. As he was deep in thought about his wife, the door opened, and he saw Holt standing before him, as calm and Holtish as ever.

“Detective, we have been looking through your cases, recent and past. We checked on the arrests, whether any had been released or escaped, and after going through the high-profile ones, we came upon one that seemed unlikely, but the timing is nothing but suspicious.”

Jake straightened up in his chair and immediately returned his phone to his pocket, “what case? Which douche bag? Why me?” Jake’s head sagged again as he said this, the knowledge that one of his cases could hurt Amy began to weigh heavier on him than he would have thought possible.

Holt approached him and place a hand on his shoulder, “Jake,” this got Jake’s attention as he was only called Jake by Holt on rare and emotional occasions, “this is not your fault. Why you? Because you are a brilliant detective whose tireless efforts and hard work have put many criminals behind bars. The case is one that has haunted you before,” Holt paused and eyed Jake carefully before continuing, as if he was taking stock in Jake’s emotional capacity to hear it, “Geoffrey Hoytsman was released from the Federal Prison in Otisville two weeks ago.”

Jake blinked several times, “the psycho ex-lawyer who kidnapped me?” Jake slammed his fists on his lap, “how the hell is he out? He tried to kill me as well as the kidnapping!”

Holt sighed deeply, “as a disbarred lawyer, he had information about several cases the DA deemed important enough to bargain his release. I asked why we weren’t informed, with your history with him, and the DA’s office said that we were in no way in need to know the situation, which I informed them could now possibly have led to the kidnapping of an officer, to which they changed their tone and are cooperating fully.” Holt paused as he watched for Jake’s reactions again, Jake was tense but still, his face in mixture of pain and anguish, “Hoytsman is off their radar, he has not checked in with his parole officer and his bank account received five hundred thousand dollars and was then emptied and closed.”

Jake didn’t know how to react, that much money and the timing could not be coincidence and if he was involved, it could only mean that Hoytsman was sharing information with someone or helping someone to take Jake down through harming Amy. Jake took a deep breath and then screamed as he released his emotions and tears simultaneously.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Holt continue to follow leads as Jake tries to keep it together. Amy tries to escape.

Jake

It was almost eight, Amy had been missing for nearly eight hours and they had exactly zero leads, zero. Jake had to stay at the Nine-Nine as Holt forbid him to investigate unless Holt himself was with him, Jake knew the reasons and tried to respect them even though he wanted to do all he could. As his watch told him it was eight, he sighed and took out his phone again. He numbly went through the numbers and found the one he was looking for. Jake nervously listened as the phone rang, hoping he could just leave a message.

“Hello?” Victor’s hard edge voice disrupted Jake’s hopes.

“Victor, this is Jake…” Jake didn’t know how to continue, how could he, a cop, tell another cop that he let his daughter get kidnapped.

“Jake, what’s wrong, what happened to Amy?”

Jake started to cry, then to sob, “I’m so sorry Victor, so fucking sorry, she…she was…she was kidnapped, we were eating lunch at her street meat place and when I threw our stuff away. I, I… I heard tires and turned around and she was gone. It appears to be a professional job, but so far our only lead is an ex defense attorney who tried to kidnap me before, but we think he’s working, w-w-working with some else, but we have no other leads yet.”

Silence followed, “Jake, I’m sorry, you are not to blame, but let out your tears, let out your emotions, and then do what you do best.”

Jake paused as he inhaled, trying to conquer his emotions, “what’s that?”

“Think outside the box Jake, Amy told me long ago that no one’s brain thinks like yours, you can think like they do, you think of links and possibilities that most would never consider, do that and you will find her.” Jake could hear Victor fight his own emotions on the other end of the phone.

“Victor, I’m so sorry, I should have acted quicker.”

“Jake, stop, you were throwing away garbage, they waited, they would have gotten what they wanted no matter what. Do not let yourself be the bad guy here, they are still out there.” There was an awkward pause, Jake wondered if he should say something, “Jake, you are a good husband, but I think an even better detective, you will find her, but don’t let your emotions get in the way, you must think clearly, do not let your love cloud issues, think like you always do.”

Jake took a deep breath, “okay, I will try, but it’s her Victor, your daughter, she’s everything to me, I’ve never had anything like this in my life…”

Victor interrupted, “and you will have it again, they took her for a reason, find the reason or they will contact you, but chase every link with this ex defense attorney and you will find her, I know you will, and as much as I hate to admit it, you are everything to her, she never had a passionate relationship before you, and the fact that you are her equal in police work and someone she trusts, I honestly thought she would never find that. I need to break the news to Camila and the boys, go find her Jake.”

AMY

Amy woke up in pain, not moving was taking its toll and her head hurt, she tried to shift as much as she could when she heard the door open. Only a single set of footsteps this time, she felt her blindfold being removed and then her eyes hurt as they were overwhelmed with the bright lights. The same voice from before addressed her.

“It is time to drink and eat, and then to talk, a little.”

As Amy’s eyes adjusted, it was clear her kidnapper was no amateur, a mask and gloves were worn, Amy almost wanted to smile as the mask was the same Ronald Reagan mask worn by Patrick Swayze in Point Break, a movie Jake had made her watch several times.

“I see you’re a Point Break fan.” Amy realized as she spoke how dry her mouth and throat were.

The man nodded, “yes, and a fan of your husband as well, but that can wait until later, right now, drink and eat.”

Amy proceeded to drink a water bottle and then eat a sandwich, it was dry, but it was food. As she finished the sandwich, Swayze as she now thought of him, helped her up, “I will untie you to use the bathroom, we will always be listening, so let us know when you need to go, but if you try anything, you will be punished, and we will not take your punishment lightly.”

Amy gulped and nodded, she knew he meant to honor his threats, the good criminals did, it’s what made them good, but she also knew she would look for any and every chance to escape. As she was led out of the small room into a large an empty office, a very old office, she was led around the corner to clean but old bathroom as Swayze opened the door and motioned for her to enter. “Two minutes, don’t waste them.”

Jake

He relished the feel of the cold water on his face, it took away the sting of the tears and cooled him off, he’d felt like he was sweating way too much with the stress he felt. As he exited the bathroom, Holt was waiting for him.

“I take it Amy told you about the officers she had to discipline today?”

Jake nodded, “yeah, she was stressed, she was so great though, I saw her give it to the rest of her officers, it was great.” Jake’s demeanor instantly took a depressed turn as he thought of her, not about finding her, but about her, the feelings he had for her began to overwhelm him again. 

Holt placed his steady hand on Jake’s shoulder, “Jake, I’m sorry this brought up feelings, but I think we should go talk to the two officers, Miller and Denning and see if they are connected to this, they knew she would discipline them, I don’t think they are connected, but it gives us something to look into.”

Jake nodded and before he knew what was happening, they were knocking on the door of a small older apartment in Bensonhurst. The door opened to the sound of weeping, “Captain, please don’t fire me, I’m so sorry for my behavior, but I will change, I’ve learned, I’m so sorry.”

Holt calmed her down and they entered her apartment, which was cluttered with Kleenex and Chinese takeout containers, Holt asked a few probing questions and then turned to Jake and shook his head and they left to seek out Miller.

Not quite twenty minutes later, Jake and Holt stood in front of an older house in East Flatbush, as they knocked, they heard a woman yelling, an older woman answered the door and smiled, “I hope you’re here to give Stan hell for his stupidity. Pulling over attractive women, dumbass is just like his father.” The woman then turned and yelled, “Stan, officers here to comment on your decisions!”

The woman, who was Miller’s mother welcomed them in the apartment, Stan came out a minute later, looking unshaven and not well.

“Captain, Peralta? Did I do something else? I mean, I know I didn’t, but why would Peralta be here?”

Holt glanced at Jake and then went for the jugular, “Miller, your sergeant was kidnapped, and we need to know if you had anything to do with it as your report with her is not great.”

Miller look astonished, not guilty Jake thought, “Captain, never, I get along with Sergeant Peralta, I was stupid, I was trying to make up for my divorce and it was stupid, but I would never…”

Jake and Holt both caught his look, Holt approached more closely, “Miller, what do you know.”

Miller gulped, “Captain, I’m not a snitch, but this is different. Officer Groves sir, you know him?”

Holt nodded, “I’ve met him, he has a very clean record Miller.”

Miller laughed a cold derisive laugh, “maybe, but he’s not sir, he hates her, and last week he kept saying how much he hated the detective here and that he’d get his. I should have said something, but he’s a talker, which is why he has a clean record, but he’s an angry guy Captain.”

“Miller, this is a serious accusation, do you have any other reason to believe he would have been involved?” Jake knew of almost no one that could lie to Holt when he as gazed at them, that closely and that intensely. 

“It’s just that sir, I seen him last week with this scumbag ex lawyer who got off a bunch of guys I testified against. Hoyman or something like that.”

Jake felt his blood run cold, “Hoytsman, the name is Hoytsman and where did you see them?”

Miller looked at Jake, “Hoytsman, that’s it, they were at the Mills Basin Deli, last Tuesday, my mom and I go there, it’s one of the few times she stops yelling at me.”

Jake and Holt asked a few more questions before leaving, Holt radioed Terry and told him to have Groves brought in.

Amy

“I need to go to the bathroom!” This was the third time Amy had yelled this, roughly a minute apart. She didn’t need to go, but she had been testing how often and how well they paid attention, as she heard nothing, she stood up and slammed the chair down. She could feel the legs weaken as she did so, she slammed it down two more times until legs gave and she crashed to the ground. She hurt a little, but her arms were now loosened, and she quickly made her way out of the knots and was free. As she stood up, she heard and then saw the doorknob turn, she stood close to the door and waited until one of Swayze’s assistants, a man wearing the Lyndon B Johnson mask entered, Amy used both arms and came down hard on his head and knocked him down, she then slammed his head several times to the floor making sure he was out. 

She limped from being tied up so long as she exited the door, she turned to see Swayze, he tilted his head to the side and then rushed after her, Amy tried to turn to her left when she was tackled by the kidnapper wearing the Carter mask.

She woke up groggy, tied up again, her jaw sore, her head pulsing with pain, her blindfold was still off as she tried to adjust her eyes, and then she heard the voice again.

“I promised you that you’d regret trying anything.”

Amy blinked several times, “I can feel it, I must have been kicked.”

She saw the Reagan mask nod, “unfortunately, that was only a taste.” He opened the door, “Carter, get in here.”

Amy watched in horror as the man in the Carter mask came in quickly, she could barely react before he back handed her with such force that her chair almost tipped over, before she could register what had happened he punched her kidneys swiftly on each side, followed by a devastating punch directly to her abdomen. Amy gasped for air and then coughed, blood trickling from her mouth.

“I hope you’ve learned your lesson, next time Lyndon B Johnson will be unleashed on you, he wants to do more than punch you, by the time he’s done with you, you’ll never want your husband to touch you again.”

Amy remained silent, holding back the tears she felt welling up, the physical pain was excruciating, and then the threat of sexual harm and the mention of Jake was too much, she glared at them and just hoped she could hold up until they left. Swayze and Carter quickly left, and Amy counted to twenty and then unleashed her tears and frustration.

Jake

Groves was in the interrogation room, Jake wasn’t allowed in because of his personal stakes in the case, he could only stand next to Charles who stared up at him like he might cry at any moment. Jake was forced to watch as Terry and Rosa interrogate the officer, he kept biting his nails, and then would stop, expecting Amy to yell at him to stop, every minute that passed was breaking his heart even more.

A memory from their honeymoon crept into his mind, he had his orgasm and Amy was on top of him, still moving, her third orgasm of the night building, when she caught his eyes and smiled at him, Jake was sure at that moment that no moment could surpass that, mind blowing sex with his wife, his best friend, and dream woman, who were all the same person. Jake almost smiled at the thought when he was nudged.

“Jake, did you hear that?” Charles was smiling.

Jake shook his head, “no, sorry, my mind was somewhere else.”

Charles hugged him, “he told them where Hoytsman is hiding.” Jake notice a look on Charles’ face, the look he had when he was hiding something.

Jake peered at him, “Charles, what else?”

Charles gulped, “He said the men are working for the Genovese Crime Family, hired by them to put pressure on you. Groves agreed to give information on Amy, when she’d be back and to tell them when she left for lunch.”

Jake felt his rage begin to release for the first time, he charged the observation window, slamming his fists against it and screaming. “You fucking piece of shit! You call yourself a cop? If anything happens to her you better make sure your prison is secure, because I’ll make what they do to you look like a fucking hug!”

“Peralta calm down. He is on his way to prison, for a long time, and he knows that if she is harmed, he will be charged with those crimes as well, you don’t need to add anything.” Holt stood before him, Jake thought he saw a look of pity in his eyes, but he didn’t need pity, he needed his wife, he needed her back, he needed her safe and he needed her now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy’s situation is not improving and the Nine-Nine has tracked down an accomplice, but will it be enough?

Jake

Jake had never had blackouts or times in his life he forgot save a few nights where he drank way too much, but for the fourth or fifth time since Amy was taken he found himself somewhere without realizing how he even got there. The stress and worry were weighing on him more and more as the evening continued. It was three in the morning and he couldn’t fathom how it had been less than a day since Amy was kidnapped, it felt like an eternity to him. He was sitting next to Captain Holt in an unmarked police van as a team of officers in street clothes teamed around the alleged hideout of Geoffrey Hoytsman, the same man who once kidnapped Jake and the man who helped the Genovese family take Amy to get to him.

Jake felt nothing but the normal worry he had felt all afternoon and evening as the team broke through the door, everything seemed to move in almost a slow motion as he saw Hoytsman drug out of the motel room, he was screaming and trying to fight, cowards always made the most dangerous enemies, they’d hurt anyone to save themselves he thought as he fought the growing urge to leave the car and beat the shit out of this man until his wife was safe in his arms. Hoytsman was loaded into a squad car and they proceeded to Nine-Nine.

Amy

Her wrists felt raw against the ropes that bound her, she was surprised and almost laughed at herself as she wondered how she could even notice that when her stomach and sides also ached, not to mention her face. She spit and knew that it was still probably bloody, she felt around her mouth with her tongue to probe if any of her teeth had been chipped or loosened during her ordeal. She felt a calm she didn’t understand, she knew that two outcomes would happen, her husband would find her or she would die, no one else would be able to do this, she knew it, she hoped now that Jake knew it and was doing his normal routine of sticking his nose where it didn’t belong and ignoring the powers that be and taking charge of the investigation.

She tried to move her hands slightly to take a little of the pressure off where the ropes cut into her wrists when she felt her wedding band and engagement ring. Immediately a conversation she and Jake had after they got engaged played out in her mind.

“Ames, it’s okay, I saw you had taken it off, I just asked why, but really, I’m okay.” He had smiled, trying to convince her it was okay, but she knew differently.

“Jake, it was stupid, I just thought it might cause more problems with perps if they saw it, but really, I want to wear it.”

Jake sighed, “I’m fine, honestly, it’s just a ring, I know you love me, that’s good enough.”

Amy cupped her hands against cheeks and smiled, “no, it’s not, I want to wear it, you know I could not be happier marrying you and I don’t care if the world knows it, it was a stupid thought and I’ve changed my mind.”

Amy thought how stupid that was, rings or not, people would know they were together, and now she was in danger and her husband was probably drowning in grief and worry trying to find her and fighting off his insecurities and doubts that plagued him as he tried to find her. Jake had told Amy several times that while he was in prison, he worried about her a lot and he she was holding up, she thought he was crazy and maybe exaggerating, but now she understood as her thoughts concentrated on him and what he was currently going through despite her own bleak prospects.

As Amy thought of Jake, she began to wonder what life would be like if they had children, would the worry be worse? Her dad was a great detective and had eight children and it didn’t seem to affect his work, yet her dad didn’t have Jake’s bad luck when it came to cases coming back to haunt him. They had briefly mentioned to each other that maybe someday they’d start a family, but always in passing and never a concrete plan or even a strong desire, she had always thought that eventually, yes, she’d start a family. Doubts crept into her mind as she wondered whether she could ever start a family knowing the dangers she and Jake had faced in their three years together, the threats, physical harm, emotional harm, that would be a lot to put on a baby. As she drifted off to sleep again, her mind was made up, she couldn’t do that to a child.

Jake

Screaming, all Jake could hear was screaming from the interrogation room as Hoytsman screamed and cried. Jake wanted nothing more than to go in the room and slap him until he stopped, but his lawyer had already left and told him he was on his own as even Terry looked like he might cause him physical harm. Holt entered the interrogation room and began his Jedi mind tricks on Hoytsman.

Jake’s attention was on Holt, not Hoytsman, as he thought about a conversation with Amy a few weeks before their wedding.

“I’m just saying, if we ever have children, if, I think either Ray or Holt would be a good first name, or middle name.” Amy smiled as she brushed her hair, Jake only shaking his head as she seemed so content linking her personal and work life.

“When we have a kid,” Jake interjected, “McClane for a boy, Holly for a girl. End of discussion.”

Amy turned, pointing her brush at him in a threatening manner, “no way in hell, IF we have kids, no Die-Hard names, that’s the end of the discussion.”

Jake allowed a small grin to form as he thought of his wife’s love and admiration for their captain who was doing all he knew how to find her, even working with Jake and keeping him involved, which he didn’t have to do, and maybe shouldn’t have, but Jake was grateful, if he wasn’t working on this, he would be self-destructing, for sure.

Holt left the interrogation room after ten or so minutes and entered the observation room, “Peralta, he may not cooperate, he is hostile and unstable, I don’t know if he will help us, at all.”

Jake sighed, he felt the rage rising again, he fought it, but thoughts of his wife pushed it forward, not about her danger per se, but even more the memories of small intimate moments together, of talking and sharing, and the thought that they might no have more of those pushed him out of the calm stupor he had been in.

“Let me face him captain, give me two minutes, no cameras, no lawyers, no one else.” Jake did not make eye contact as he said this, he meant it, but he also knew it was coming from a desperate place.

Holt exhaled slowly, “Jake, you are a good detective, that would tarnish your reputation and could negate any evidence we get from him, I know this is excruciating for you, but we have to do this by the book, it is crucial, and he is unhinged enough I doubt even the worst of threats would work on him.”

Jake threw up his hands quickly and in an animated fashion, “well fuck, I guess we’ll never know, I need a soda…” Jake paused as he exited the observation room and thought about saying something else, but he just shook his head and moved quickly to the vending machines.

Rosa was in the break room, she nodded at him as he entered, conversations with Rosa were awkward on normal days, but in times of crisis they were worse. 

“Rosa, go in there and beat it out of him, they won’t let me near him.” Jake grabbed his soda as it fell.

Rosa shook her head vigorously, “Jake, c’mon, you know that won’t help with this creep. He’s smart, despite the stupid shit he’s done. Trust the captain, he will get Amy back.”

Jake slammed his palm against the soda machine, “will he? the clock is ticking, and we know so fucking little, I’ve stood back and been the good cop, maybe that’s the problem.” 

Jake moved towards the door and Rosa stood up, “Jake, don’t do anything stupid, that won’t help Amy.”

Jake turned to face her again, “Really? The truth is we don’t know what or if we can help her, we know nothing because that dumb shit won’t talk, so don’t tell me to calm down, I will not be calm or anything until my wife is safe.” With that Jake threw his soda across the room and left, leaving a stunned Rosa, who was shocked enough that she didn’t react in anger.

AMY

The sound of the door opening jostled her awake, she didn’t know how long she had been out, but she doubted it was long, one of the tactics of interrogation was to make the person unable to tell how long they had been there, robbing them of their sense of time created alarm in them and made them more susceptible to questioning. Amy took a deep breath, expecting the worst, maybe another beating, though she had been waiting for questions and she felt that now was that time.

A hand touched her face and lifted the blindfold up, as her eyes adjusted, she was facing Swayze again, the leader of the kidnappers wearing a Reagan mask. “Amy, time to talk. Listen first, we are confident the police cannot find us, we have no connections to you or the people who hired us, so finding us will be impossible I’m afraid, so you need to change your mindset. You cannot escape, you’ve seen what that brings, so listen to my questions and consider helping us, because that’s the only way you can truly help yourself.

Amy simply nodded, she wanted to speak as little as possible as to not give them anything they could use. “Your husband, Jake Peralta, he has recently begun investigations into some people tied to my employer, they need him to back off. Now, I’m not a fool, they aligned themselves with some people who will talk and might give information, so I don’t doubt that the NYPD will know my employers are involved, but that doesn’t change the fact that your husband could still be of use to them. Has Jake ever mentioned a Louis Iverson?”

Amy shook her head, she would remember the name, she was good with names and Jake was terrible with names and often used weird physical traits or personality quirks to describe the people he investigated. Recently he had investigated Sir Sweats a Lot, and English guy who sweat every time he saw Jake, Lispy Joe, an accountant with a lisp and a tie to some shady people, and Misty Meadows, a name he gave the alleged girlfriend of a mobster who looked like a stripper and cried a lot, hence the name which had made Amy roll her eyes.

“Mr. Iverson runs a local business crucial to my employer, and your husband was investigating him for different reasons, but he is still too close. What I need from him is this, I need him to agree to back off the cases we tell him to. He can still be a great cop, doesn’t have to give us any information, you must merely give us your assurance that he will play ball and not thoroughly investigate the few names we will give him from time to time. Can you do that?”

Amy knew this could be her out, she could be released and simply worry about things later, Jake would do anything for her, but she was Amy Santiago Peralta, and she could never live with herself to negotiate her release to let her husband be on the hook to criminals. Amy contemplated her situation a moment longer and then shook her head no, saying nothing.

Swayze nodded, “unfortunately, I thought you would say no. I will have to contact my employers, they will no doubt tell us make things worse for you, and I do mean worse, so please consider your possible outcomes, don’t protect your husband at the expense of your life. My clients will get away with this, they always do, my crew and I will disappear, to different cities, and no one will know where to look or where you were laid to rest. We don’t leave clues or evidence.”

Amy took a deep breath, she was risking a lot not cooperating, but her instincts told her she could be in danger either way, so she might as well go out with her ethics intact. She thought about the questions and statements made by her captor and a notion came to her. “How long ago did you leave the force?”

Swayze shook his head, “don’t try to understand me Amy, it won’t help, kudos for noticing that, but it won’t help you, not even a little. Word to the wise, I wouldn’t mention that to the others, they would get too nervous and could get more desperate.”

Amy inhaled and tried to maintain her composure to seem unphased and calm, “you don’t trust your crew? That seems like a gamble.”

Swayze pointed at her, “you are good, they warned me you were intelligent and that your husband was a great detective, but damn, you are good. I trust them, but I also know them. When working outside of the law, one must often make sacrifices in certain areas, despite what people claim, if you’re outside the law, it’s for a reason. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to call my employers, I don’t like the idea of causing you further harm, but I fear that’s out of my hands.”

Swayze leaned over and replaced her blindfold and she heard the door close, she was alone again, she didn’t know how she should feel, she was figuring things out and had obviously made a connection no matter how small with the leader, but was it enough to help her?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake starts to unravel during the investigation to find Amy, who is increasing danger with her captors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this, let me know. It had been awhile since I wrote anything.

Jake

The bathroom? When did I come sit down in the stall? Jake sighed as he tried to understand his actions and the continued moments where he didn’t know how or why he ended up somewhere. He sat in the stall, glad that neither Scully nor Hitchcock were there, but also glad he could sit in peace. It was now twenty-four hours since Amy was taken, Hoytsman was still being held and interrogated from time to time, Jake was tired of waiting, he wanted to take matters into his own hands and force him to talk, Jake owed this guy, he owed him before, but now… 

As Jake left the bathroom, he heard his name, he turned and saw Terry approaching him. “Jake, listen man, you’ve got to trust us, trust us that we are helping, we all love Amy and we all want her back, but we’ve got to do it right, you know this.”

Jake took a deep breath and tried to reign in his emotions, but he was tired of reigning in his emotions, this was wife, not someone he had never met, she was taken because of his career, how could he not be emotional. “Terry, I know you are all doing your best, but I don’t know if it’s working, we are running out of time. This prick is wasting our time.”

Terry looked at Jake, Jake knew Terry loved he and Amy, he could see the concern on his face, in his eyes, he could hear it in his voice. “Look Jake, nobody likes this guy, we wish we could beat it out of him, but I don’t know that would work. He’s in his own cell because the other perps were threatening him.”

Jake nodded and walked away, as he thought of what Terry had just said, he quickly walked to holding, there by himself was Hoytsman. Jake felt his anger surge to the surface as he saw him. He banged on the bars, “Hoytsman, listen to me, whoever you’re helping, they will leave, but you’ll be in jail, I will find a way and I will get to you, I will get to you and I will make you hurt, not die, just hurt, and often. If I don’t get helpful information from you, I’ll cut deals with these guys,” Jake motioned towards the nodding suspects in the other holding cell, “and make sure you get a reminder of my hatred of you everyday for the rest of your miserable fucking life. Twice you have tried to fuck with my life, so I have no problems, ethical of otherwise, I will make you hurt.”

“Peralta!” Jake turned and faced a visibly livid Holt. “We do not threaten our suspects!”

Jake turned to face Hoytsman again, “that was no threat captain, that was no threat.”

“My office, now.” Holt marched to his office and Jake followed him, as he walked through the detective’s bullpen, he caught the glances of the other detectives, Rosa looked angry, Charles looked hurt, he tried to push that out of his mind, he could only worry about Amy right now. “Sit,” Holt commanded as Jake entered and sat in a chair along the back wall, Holt closed the door and pulled up a chair, so he could face Jake. “I have no other option but to take you off of this case.”

Jake shrugged his shoulders, he was beyond caring what anyone thought, “I don’t care, I will find her, I have to find her.”

Captain Holt bowed his head, “Jake, we are all on your side, but your emotions are taking over, do not let them drive you, I tried to keep you close to everything on the case, but I cannot do that anymore. The deputy mayor was in my office and happened to be leaving when you threatened Hoytsman, she will be checking up on this, I’m sure of it, so you are suspended, with pay, for the time being. Go home, get sleep, use your skills and call us if you think of something.”

Jake said nothing and stood up, he wanted to say so many things, he wanted to yell, he wanted to apologize, he wanted to hit him, he wanted to hug him, he didn’t know what to feel, he just knew what he wanted, what he truly needed, and nothing was currently helping that situation. As Jake walked, he thought he heard Holt say something, but he was unsure what he said. As he walked through the bullpen, he heard his name, he turned to see Hoytsman, standing at the bars of the holding cell.

Jake quickly approached, Holt and Terry did the same. “Peralta, I think I know where they have her, I wasn’t supposed to be traced to this, they said easy money, they were the ones who told me, in a visit, to cut a deal with the DA and get out.”

Jake just glared at him and said nothing, Hoytsman glanced from Terry to Holt and back Jake, “listen, I think they are in an old industrial building on Staten Island, right there when you get of the bridge from Brooklyn, I overheard one them talking about it, I know they were there, I don’t know if they are still there.”

Jake looked at Holt, who took a deep breath before addressing him again, “Peralta, go home, the suspension stands, we will take care of it.”

Jake started to leave and could hear the commotion behind him, he walked casually to the elevator, but as soon as he reached the main floor, he sprinted to his car and took off, heading to Staten Island. 

AMY

Amy knocked on the bathroom door gently to let her captors know she was finished, as the door opened, Swayze stood before her, his Reagan mask on as always, “I hope you appreciate the new roll of toilet paper, those other idiots never change them, animals.”

Amy numbly nodded, she did want to allow her captor to get any closer to her if his intention was to kill her if he didn’t get what he wanted. Amy’s blindfold was put back on, but she was led in a different direction, she felt cold, panicked.

“Don’t worry Amy, we are not to the final moment, yet. We are moving, I don’t stay too long in one place.” Amy could hear beeping, a vehicle backing up, as she readied herself to be moved to a new location and decreasing the chances of Jake tracking her down. Amy was placed on a seat, she realized this was not the same vehicle, it was windowless, so they didn’t have to worry about her being seen. As the vehicle moved forward, she felt her stomach drop, she felt began to truly despair for the first time since she was taken.

Jake

Jake still felt numb, he shouldn’t have felt numb, he should have felt alive, speeding through Brooklyn, now over the Verrazano Narrows Bridge, his siren blaring, barely staying attached to his roof as he sped over the bridge onto State Island. He had a rough idea where this industrial office was located, it was one of the few buildings in that area that had not been renovated recently, as he came off the bride, he turned left and saw a UPS truck pass him, the driver in street clothes, which didn’t process at the time. Jake drove up the entrance and his heart sank, it appeared empty.

He stayed in his car for a minute, doubting if it was the right place, but then he thought better of just leaving and got out and investigated. He lifted the sliding parking lot door, which was unlocked, and entered, his gun drawn, a light had been left on, that alarmed him and caused him to take his gun out and at the ready. He walked into a small room, there was nothing in it, but the scent, he knew that scent, it was Amy’s perfume. Amy had a sensitive sniffer as Jake had told her many times, but now he was glad, she despised most perfumes, but she liked Happy by Clinique, Jake never knew what the difference was, and why other scents assaulted her senses, but he knew this was her perfume.

Jake fumbled with his phone before he could calm down enough to dial Holt. As soon as Holt answered Jake jumped in, “Captain, Peralta, I’m at an old industrial complex, on Lily Pond Avenue, in the parking garage, in the old office there, someone was here, but they’re gone now, and I know she was here, I smell her perfume.”

Jake could hear Holt breathe on the phone, “Peralta, we are on way, do not touch anything, and then you are going home.”

Jake sighed, “Captain, this is my wife, you could barely trust me when it came to Kevin and keeping him safe, you know what I’m feeling, I just need to do everything I can. I know I was out of line, but I can’t not do whatever it takes, this is Amy captain…” Jake’s voice began to give out as his emotions overcame him again.

“Stay put Jake, we are nearly there, I do understand, please know that, I still have my job, you know my affections for both you and your wife, this is terrible for me, but you know me, a robot to the end.”

Jake sniffed, “meep, morp.”

“Meep, morp, we are on the bridge Peralta, nearly there.”

Within five minutes, Jake heard the sirens then saw Holt and Terry exit their vehicle with three squad cars in tow. Everyone looked around for evidence, of which they saw none, not even fingerprints, then Jake remembered a conversation he had with Amy once, about the ways that even the best criminals could screw up, Jake told her there was no way a brilliant criminal would not think of something that he wouldn’t, and then Amy surprised him by coming back with their toilet paper roller.

“This, Jacob, is littered with fingerprints, even yours, they are not likely wearing gloves, and wouldn’t think of it, they’d scrub down a toilet and sink, easy, but this, I think not.” Jake grabbed his kit and dusted the roller, sure enough, several prints, he hoped now that they would lead somewhere.

Jake handed the prints to Terry to text to Charles at the Nine-Nine to check their database. Jake closed his eyes and concentrated on the positives, he had to, he could not succumb to despair, not yet, he had to hold out that he could find her. Jake nearly jumped when he heard Terry yell, two different prints had matches, Jake ran to the car, Terry was on the system, the first picture was for a man arrested ten years ago, no one Jake had ever seen, the second picture was an ex-cop arrested for taking bribes and beating a suspect for a payoff from a third party. Jake sensed something familiar about the face, but when could he have seen this man, he had met thousand upon thousands of people, criminals, cops, neighbors, waiters, waitresses, delivery people… Then it hit him, the driver of the UPS truck, the one he saw right before getting there, in street clothes.

Jake filled Holt in on his hunch, soon Charles and Rosa were on the radio checking traffic cameras around the area, ten minutes had gone by, then a quiet Charles came across, “Jakey, I think I see where they went, let me enhance it, holy crackers, Jake, they’re still on Staten Island, they are at the Staten Island Industrial Park, a yellow garage door, the only one as you enter I think. To the right, can’t read the number clearly, but they have to still be there, we’ll keep our eyes on this spot.”

“Peralta get in the back of my car, Jeffords, we need to go, inform the others.” Holt spoke and after he did, Jake could almost swear he saw a slight smile or grimace, it didn’t matter which, it was a sign of emotion from the captain, which meant he was feeling this as well, which meant a lot to Jake.

AMY

This time round, she felt no bridge as they traveled, a lot of turns, then a lot of speed bumps, she guessed they might be in a storage unit area, but was not sure, she then heard what she thought was a garage type door slide up and open, the vehicle then entered, the door closed and she heard the others move around and exit.

She felt a hand on her arm signal to her to stand up and follow, she was then led down something, and a few steps into a room, where she was sat down and tied up again. She expected to be left alone for a while again, but the blindfold was removed, and she looked up as her eyes adjusted to see the familiar Reagan mask of Swayze.

“Amy,” the familiar monotone and calm voice spoke, “I’m afraid we are at a crossroads, either you cooperate, or I am forced to use tactics that will not be pleasant for you.”

Amy forced herself to breathe, to not react, she had to maintain her cool, she would not give into these men, this was her ultimate test and she had to prove worthy to herself. “I have nothing to say.”

Swayze nodded, “I suspected as much, I had hoped you would see to reason, but you are a good cop. I question why, what has the NYPD done for you? Let your husband be arrested, let your wedding be derailed? I hope all of this is worth it, for myself, I realized they don’t care, and that led to new opportunities.”

Amy saw Swayze reach towards her and her blindfold was lifted up again, her eyes again in darkness. She heard a click, she could then feel what she knew was coldness of a knife blade on her skin. Amy didn’t allow herself to react, this was the moment, the test. She clamped he mouth and closed her eyes tightly as the first cut came, she felt the blood flow, it was not deep, but it was a long stroke, this was the warning, she knew it would soon get worse.

“Amy, I will leave you for a while, this is a sample of what will come, you will cooperate with us, just make sure you are still in one piece before you do.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake gets closer and Amy has to make decisions.

Jake

The back seat of the captain’s car felt a million miles away from Amy even though they were on their way to her, he hoped. He kept telling himself they were going to find her, they would rescue her, but there was no guarantee, these guys were good, not easy to track, and knew to keep moving. Jake stared out the window as the buildings, cars, and people seemed to disappear in streaks as they passed by.

The radio crackled to life, it was Charles, “Captain, Keith Giles, the suspect who is an ex-cop, he has a tag in his file, we have to contact the local FBI.”

Holt sighed, “did you?”

“No sir, I wanted to check with you.”

Holt frowned at Jake, “call them.”

Jake stared more, trying to push from his mind the worst-case scenarios that kept trying to push their way in. He wanted to be fidgety, like normal, but his heart was broken, his mind and body were exhausted. “Terry, how long until we get there?”

Terry tried to smile, “at least ten, maybe fifteen. How’re you holdin up Jake?”

“I feel like my heart was ripped out.”

Holt looked at him and was about to respond when his phone rang, “Captain Raymond Holt…yes, we are…I understand…no, we that was not part of the file…I understand…we will use extreme caution…she is our best young sergeant and has a promising career…he is with us…he is the best detective in the Nine-Nine, not using him would be wrong, but he is on a short leash…no, we can do that…I’ll make sure you are kept in the loop…understood…thank you.”

Jake gulped, that had to be the FBI, he closed his eyes, he wanted to be ready for whatever the captain said, good or bad. “Peralta, that was agent Fielding, he said Giles is a person of interest in several unsolved murders and kidnappings, primarily through the Genovese family and a few other old school crime families. As an officer, he worked for several families, on the take, Fielding thinks he and his crew could be responsible for as many twenty murders, ranging from here to Florida. He warned to use extreme caution and informed me that when he is captured he will be turned over to the bureau. He was very reasonable, but I do not like what I heard, he is cold calculated killer, we should be on our A game today.”

“Fantastic,” Jake mumbled as he stared at the landscape, wishing and hoping for a little luck. She had to be okay, she had to be, he didn’t know what he would do if she wasn’t, it just couldn’t be possible that she wouldn’t return to their home.

Amy

The sting from the cut of her arm was annoying her, but Amy was doing her best to keep sharp and calm. She thought of her parents and wondered if Jake had contacted them and what they had said. She wished she could say goodbye to them, even her brothers, and then she thought of Jake. She felt despair again, and the feeling that soon Swayze would return, and she would be subjected to something awful, if was too much, she would try to fight and get herself killed to avoid a worse fate.

She heard the door, this door had a much different sound, it was louder, it scraped, the room had a scent, not so hospital like, as the previous holding spot was, she thought that this spot was not as ideal, and emergency back-up. “Amy, we are short on time, you need to make some decisions.”

Amy nodded, she knew what she had to do, and giving these men anything they could use, it was not in the cards, but her options were running out. “I stand by my previous statements, I will not help you, Jake will not help you.”

Silence, Amy started counting, she had reached around one hundred seconds when she felt excruciating pain on the same arm as the previous cut, this one was deeper, this one was meant to hurt, to really hurt. A muffled sound came from Amy’s mouth, she fought the urge to yell and cry, if she was going out, she would go out strong, go out proud.

“Let me ask again Amy, will you help us?”

Amy tried to gather her thoughts, her arm hurt so badly right now, she wanted to cry, she bit her lip to steel her nerves and resolve, “fuck you, I will not, he will not.”

Laughter, she heard laughter, she hated that he was laughing, it made her angry, but it also worried her, things could get far worse, she hoped she had the fight and resolve in her. The last thing she wanted was to die begging for life, she was one of New York’s finest and she wanted to go out with the dignity she had always served with.

“Amy, I applaud your guts, I really do. The problem is, I have a specific job to do, and if I can’t do it, I have to give them a reason, and the only reason they will understand is your corpse.”

“I understand, I’ve been understanding for the past few hours.”

Without having heard sound, Amy’s left arm was cut into for the first time, it felt like the deepest cut yet, this time, Swayze took his time as he slowly dragged the blade from her elbow to her wrist. Amy released a scream, though quickly and not at full volume, before Amy could prepare herself or try to gather more courage, Swayze was dragging the blade parallel to the previous cut, Amy screamed again, and she could feel her entire body tense up this time, the pain was pushing her to her limits and she felt herself perspiring profusely.

“Amy, I will leave you again for a little while to think about things, the next time will be worse, I hope you’ll reconsider, things will get ugly, very ugly.” She heard the door close and this time she couldn’t help herself as she released her tears and sobs, she didn’t know how much she had in her, she would never give them what they wanted, but she could see herself begging for mercy as the pain and blood loss increase. 

Jake

The ride was feeling eternal, so many scenarios kept passing through his mind, Jake felt like he could throw up right then. An uncomfortable silence had descended in the captain’s vehicle, Terry would glance back at Jake and then try not to cry. Holt was stoic as ever, though Jake caught him steal at least one glance back at him.

As they neared the Staten Island Industrial Park, Jake tried to ready himself, to not overreact to whatever he might encounter and to hold himself back from attacking any of the kidnappers. His hands felt extra sweaty, his mouth began to feel dry. Soon, they were at the entrance, as the cars passed through gate, the surrounded the building.

As they began to exit the cars, Captain Holt’s radio crackled as Charles yelled, “we made a mistake, there were two UPS trucks, Gina noticed it, I know Gina, I told him, anyway, they are in the industrial park, not the park park, but the actual industrial area…”

“Boyle, we know that, we’re here.” Holt had less patience for him than normal.

“Alright, go to the right from where you are, to the back, a two-story brownstone building, it looks like the Granderson Building, empty for the past three years.”

The cars sped through the complex, Jake saw the building come into view, his entire body tensed up. As the cars stopped, Holt gave everyone orders to follow his lead and only go in on his command.

Amy

She had no idea how long Swayze had been gone nor how long it would be before he would return, her stomach felt queasy and she was beginning to feel very faint, which she attributed to the blood loss and three fresh cuts. She was concentrating on not passing out when she heard shouting from the other room, then she heard the sirens. More shouting was happening, she couldn’t make out any words or anything specific, guns were fired, and then after she assumed were a few minutes, the door opened. Amy couldn’t breathe, she was sure this was the moment she would die. She knew Swayze wouldn’t leave loose ends. Her blindfold was loosened, as her eyes adjusted, she didn’t see a mask, but Jake, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Ames, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t get any words out. I thought that maybe…you know…I’m so sorry.”

Upon seeing him finally, after all she had gone through, and knowing that she was now safe, that she was rescued, she sobbed, not a calm sob, but one that encapsulated all she had been through, the threats she felt, the pain she had endured, and the emotional distress she had suffered. Jake hugged her, she clung to him sobbing, she felt like she would throw up at any second as every emotion in her surged forward.

Jake escorted Amy to the captain’s vehicle where she eventually gained control, she tried to smile at him, but she felt so different, so empty, so unsure of herself. Jake tried to smile at her, but she could read the worry in his face and sense the blame he placed on himself. She reached up her hand to cheek, it felt so weird to do so now, his cheek was still damp from his tears, “Babe, how did you find me.”

Jake looked sad, “I got lucky, we knew where you had been held, but I got lucky and because I disobeyed an order, I got to your old hiding spot early, and saw the UPS truck with the driver being Giles.”

“Giles?” Amy didn’t know the names of any of the men.

Jake nodded, “yeah, the boss of the crew, the main guy.”

Amy almost cried as she thought of the pain she had endured at his hands in just the past hour, “I called him Swayze, they all wore masks, the same ones from Point Break, he wore the Reagan mask, so he was Swayze.”

Amy watched his reaction, normally, he would have been all over a reference like that, especially from her, but his eyes remained sad and fixed on her. “I’m so sorry Ames, this shouldn’t have happened. But yeah, I saw this guy, and then I remembered what you had told me about toilet paper rollers, so I dusted for prints and we got two sets, one was his.”

Amy nodded as tears pooled in her eyes and began to fall again, “what happened to them, my kidnappers?”

Jake took a deep breath, “Two are apprehended and being taken to the Nine-Nine, two are dead, Giles included. Not me, I had to stay back, I would have shot to kill and asked no questions.”

Amy could only nod as she closed her eyes and tried to gain composure. Jake put his arm around her, she fidgeted a little and tried to give him a smile.

“Ames, this isn’t going to be easy, you went through hell, I can barely look at your bruises and cuts without throwing up and screaming, I know you will need to time..don’t be afraid to tell me, to not touch you, or to not ask you too much.”

Amy nodded sadly, “Jake, I’m not going to lie, I’m in bad shape, I thought I was stronger, I thought I could handle more, not that I didn’t handle it great, because I really think I did, but because I was stupid and thought I could handle things they only deal with well in the movies.”

“Yeah, I get that, I may even have to give Die-Hard some space for a while.”

Within the hour, Amy and Jake were at the Nine-Nine, details were given to both of everything that had happened. Holt when in first and fired at the first man he saw, Lyndon B Johnson, Carter and Nixon ran and were picked up by other officers, Swayze attacked the captain who was soon joined by Terry and Officer Lou, Swayze wouldn’t relent or stand down, so Officer Lou was forced to shoot him.

Amy had been checked by a doctor, her cuts cleaned and dressed, she was dehydrated as well, but doing well physically for what she had been through. Jake was about to take her home when Holt called them both into his office. Jake wasn’t in the mood, but he knew Amy would want to hear the captain out.

As everyone settled into their chairs, Captain Holt tried to smile, “Amy, we are so happy to have you back, safe, again. Jake, you were a huge help and we could not have done this without you. I spoke to the deputy mayor who was here earlier, and to the commissioner. Jake, you are being placed on a month-long administrative leave, with pay. Sergeant, you are being put on at least a month-long medical leave. I was told there are to be no exceptions, Peralta, yours will not harm your record, but it was thought that this would be best for both of you.

I know you will both hate this, but I have to agree with it, Amy, what you went through was terrible, and now what the two of you face will not be easy. Dealing with the aftermath of any terrible event can be as difficult to navigate as the event itself, you won’t be tortured and Jake you will know where your wife is, but your difficulties are not over. Please, be patient with one another, this will be new to the two of you, Amy, you have never been the victim before, and Jake, you have to accept that you are not to blame for any of this. I command the two of you to communicate with me, with Sergeant Jeffords, and let us know how we can help you. The next month may be far more difficult than you realize.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, the story is far from over as I feel the kidnapping is only part of it, the emotional turmoil that follows is as important as everything else. 
> 
> Also, please comment and let me know if you are enjoying this.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy is back home, but nothing is back to how it was.

Amy

The shower poured warm water on her body, but rather than the normal relief or comfort she felt, each drop of water made her aware of the cuts, bruises and abrasions on her body. No tears escaped as she felt a numbness she had never felt before, an indifference to everything around her, even Jake. He had been great since she returned, normal thoughtful Jake, but it felt wrong or different, everything felt different.

The apartment seemed foreign to her, she knew where everything was, nothing was different, but she felt like a guest in her own home. Jake’s touches of comfort alarmed her every time, she would try to offer up a weak smile, but she could see the concern and sadness on his face and in his countenance, she didn’t mean or want to push him away, but she didn’t know how to be close to anyone right now.

Her parents had met them at the apartment the day she was rescued, her dad cried more than her mom, they both made a fuss over her, she tried to be sensitive to their needs as they were more than worried about her, but she couldn’t give them what she knew they wanted. Hugging them and crying with them, she just didn’t feel it, she was free, she should be happy, she was alive, she should be grateful, but instead, she just felt confused and alone. She had fallen asleep on the couch, with Jake asleep on the floor as she told him he was hurting her lying with her like they normally did, which was only partially true.

As she lathered the shampoo in her hair, her thoughts were of Jake, he was quieter than normal and stiff around her, she knew that he more than anyone could sense her struggles and she hated it. He had been nothing but grateful and loving when he returned from witness protection and when he was released from prison, even though he had faced terrible experiences each time, especially in prison. What was wrong with her? Her ordeal had not even been two days, yet she felt like it was a lifetime ago that she had taken Jake’s face in her hands and told him how much she loved him and how he was not like his father. Amy chuckled coldly at the situation, Jake had been right, not about being his father, but the Peralta luck, not even three weeks into their marriage and they were off the rails.

As she held the conditioner in her hands, the bruises and small rope burns on her wrists caught her attention again, she could only picture Swayze, his mask, his monotone yet threatening voice. Was his voice threatening? Or was it only because of what followed his words? She sighed deeply as she fought back the desire to just scream, she felt so frustrated, she didn’t know how to feel or what to feel, yet she felt obliged to be grateful and happy, but she felt nothing resembling those things.

She had now idea how long she had been in the shower now, she didn’t care, she supposed she should care so she didn’t worry Jake too much, but leaving the shower meant dealing with life again and trying to feel comfortable in her home and with her husband which felt anything like normal right now. Thinking this made her want to scream even more, she hated that she felt any of this, she loved Jake, he was amazing, he did everything he could to help her, not to mention rescuing her and putting his career on the line to do so, but she didn’t feel like Amy anymore, two days had changed how she felt about herself, about life.

Jake

Jake was one hundred percent sure that he had never sat this still in his life, but he had no energy, he had no desires other than to make his wife feel safe and happy, but what he was seeing now, since he had found her at the industrial complex, she had felt different. Why wouldn’t she feel different? She had been through hell, he got that, but his insecurities as a husband were thrust to the forefront again as he doubted whether he was good enough to guide he and Amy through this.

Coming home from prison had been difficult, but not with Amy, he loved every second of it, her touch, the feel of her soft lips against his neck letting him know he was safe and loved. He had no idea what she was feeling, she was unsure what to do, unsure what she wanted, even her taking a shower had been a painful process as she had been home for a day and still didn’t want to, but what now? How the hell was he supposed to be there when she didn’t seem to necessarily want him there. There was no doubt she loved him, but she was uneasy, any touch put her on edge, talking alarmed her, he felt completely lost as to what to do if he couldn’t touch or speak to his wife and best friend without scaring the shit out of her or making her feel uncomfortable.

Their relationship had experienced more ups than downs, but the downs had normally come from outside forces, like now, but in the past, it was the struggle of just being together, getting out of Florida or getting out of prison, not now, they were together and yet felt so far apart from one another. Jake wandered to the kitchen and started cooking, Amy loved stir fry, easy and healthy, he mindlessly got out the ingredients and cooking utensils, as the oil began to sizzle in the pan, he threw in the chicken. He wasn’t even sure if she would want this, if she’d be happy with this, her ordeal had essentially been less than forty-eight, yet nothing was the same, a cloud hung over them and he doubted himself more than ever.

Amy and Jake

As she left the bathroom, the smell of Jake’s stir fry permeated through the apartment, it still smelled appealing to her, but she was not even sure if she was hungry. Thoughts of why the hell would he cook without asking if she was hungry or even wanted it entered her mind and she hated herself for it, why was she feeling rage for what was a considerate act by her spouse? Yet she couldn’t shake the rage she felt, the anger that was so close to the surface, ready to boil over and erupt. She braced herself and tried to smile and feel happy, but it felt forced and fragile.

“Hey Ames, there’s stir fry, if you want it, I didn’t know what you’d want, you didn’t eat much yesterday, or the last few days.” Jake couldn’t make eye contact, it broke her heart to see him afraid of her, yet she could feel the anger taking over.

“I’m not hungry.” Amy closed her eyes trying to keep her frustrations that weren’t his fault from making her react angrily.

“No probs,” he rubbed her shoulder, as she quickly pulled it away in a small quick motion his eyes betrayed his confusion and hurt, “I’ll keep it for later, just let me know what you want and when, no probs.”

“Problem.” Amy knew she was about to start something, she could feel it, she didn’t want to, in the back of her mind a calmer her was warning her and telling her to stop, but she couldn’t.

“What?” Jake looked more confused now.

“It’s problem, no probs, problem.” Her face appeared angry and tense.

“Sorry,” Jake said softly and apologetically, “no problem.”

Amy took a deep breath and wished she didn’t feel this way, she wished she could be like she was the day they got back from their honeymoon, but she wasn’t, not even close. “You don’t have to be sorry, I’m sorry, I just feel angry, I feel tense and I don’t know what to do or how to act.”

Jake tried to smile, “Ames, it’s me, however or whatever you need, I’m there for you, I’ll get it, I’ll make it happen, just let me know.”

Amy turned back to him in frustration, “That’s the problem Jake, I don’t know how to act! I don’t know what I want! How in the hell am I supposed to act normal when I feel anything but normal! They hurt me Jake, they scared me, and now I feel broken, I feel broken and nothing about us or this apartment feels the same and I hate them for it and I hate myself for, and then I feel angry with you because it happened and it’s stupid because it’s not your fault!”

Jake sniffed, trying to hide his hurt and anguish, “Ames, it doesn’t matter if it makes sense, you’re allowed to feel it.”

She raised both her arms up, “well thank you Jacob for the permission to feel, how would I survive without it?”

Jake bowed his head in defeat, “Amy, I’m sorry, I’m trying, I know this sucks, just please don’t push me away, don’t do that, I need to help you, like you’ve helped me.”

“I don’t need help Jake, I need people to leave me alone, I need to not feel like I’m terrified, I need to feel like I don’t wish they had killed me, so I didn’t feel like this!” An instant regret washed over her as she saw his face, she felt like two people at once and didn’t like either one of them.

Jake turned his face to hide his reaction, “We need some groceries, I’ll go to the store and give you some time.” Jake considered just leaving, but he couldn’t, he turned to face her and looked in her eyes, “I love you.”

Amy felt it, she felt overwhelmed by it, she felt confused by it, she finally managed to reply in a faint but audible whisper, “I love you too.”

Jake

Jake stumbled more than walked down the aisles of the grocery store, he couldn’t remember what they needed, but going home wasn’t an option, he was suspended from work, so he couldn’t turn to the Nine-Nine and hide there, he was on his own. His cart had a few items, some soda, some candy, some dish soap, some beer, though he doubted he or Amy should be drinking in their current state. He grabbed some vegetables and wondered if he would even use them, but at least this felt a little normal, close to the normal routine he now longed for.

As he meandered through the store, his phone went off, he quickly grabbed it from his pocket and saw it was Victor, he had no idea what to expect, but nothing could be worse than what he came from.

“Hey Victor.”

“Jake, how’s it going?” He sounded normal.

“Well, I’m at the store, things are, well they are tense at home. I’m trying but failing.”

“I talked to Amy, she seemed angry, but, how are you?”

Jake frowned, he knew the answer, yet he didn’t know if he even had the right to tell someone his feelings and problems with what Amy was going through. “I’m, uh, I’m okay. I have to be, right? She’s safe, she’s back, I have to do what it takes.”

“Jake,” a small silence followed, “I can’t imagine what this is like for either of you. I know she is angry, she will lash out, maybe a lot, maybe for a long time. I know you, you know I didn’t like you at first, first because of how your life seemed so crazy, but then because I saw how much you loved my daughter. It was terrifying that someone could finally take my place and be the man in her life, but you’ve stepped up time after time, but this is different Jake, there are no right answers and a lot of wrong answers.”

Jake chuckled numbly, “yeah, that’s exactly how it feels. I made stir fry and got yelled at, I apologized for the grammar she was correcting and got yelled at, so then I did the cowardly thing and escaped the apartment, just like my dad, I left because it was hard.”

“Jake, you are nothing like your dad, nothing. He left you to fend for yourself, he didn’t care about you, you care deeply for Amy, you’re just trying to make her happy and she doesn’t know what that is right now, it’s a terrible lose-lose situation.”

“Thanks Victor, you may be the only person who knows her like this, I’m trying, but I feel so powerless and like an utter failure.”

Victor laughed lightly, “Jake, you will only be a failure when you stop trying.”

Amy

As she watched him leave, her dual personalities took over, one felt sorry for her actions, the other only felt rage. Amy slammed some things around the living room and then went into their bedroom, it was exactly as it had been Monday morning when Jake was searching for his badge, everything was the same but some clothes they had taken from the closet last night. His dress Vans were on the bed, he hadn’t been home once when she was missing, but now he was gone, as much as the voice of rage in her head wanted to put all the blame on him, she knew she pushed him out, she knew she was pushing him away, she didn’t want to, yet she felt this need to do so.

Amy plopped down on the couch, almost as an act of surrender, as she landed hard on the cushion, the house phone from the edge of the couch fell on her lap, she considered it for a second and then picked it up and dialed.

“Captain Raymond Holt.” The same voice, always.

“Captain, it’s Amy, Santiago, er Peralta.”

“Sergeant, good to hear from you, is everything alright?”

Amy sighed, nothing was, “no sir, I’m scared, of everything, I’m mean to Jake, on purpose, I hate myself, but I really hate the men who did this to me, but there’s nothing I can do, the worst one is dead and yet here I am, alone in my misery.”

“Where’s Peralta, I mean your husband?” She thought she might detect actual concern in his voice.

“He’s at the store sir, we did need some things, but I yelled at him, for anything and everything.”

“I see. Are you angry he left?”

Amy could feel tears and emotions, not just anger bubbling over, “no sir, I get it, I do, I’m mostly angry at myself and my kidnappers, but that’s not helping either, so I lash at him, also not helping.”

“Hmm, is there anything I can do to help you Sergeant?”

“I doubt it sir, that would require time travel.”

“Sergeant, please heed my words. You are allowed to feel anger, but also feel the love around you, your husband would have traded his life for yours, he didn’t care about his career or anyone or anything else when you were gone, and we wouldn’t have found you without him and his slightly reckless behavior.”

“I know, I know, I should feel so grateful, but instead I’m angry, and at him which is so stupid. He’s been through a lot, through so much and he didn’t take it out on me, not like this.”

“No, but you’re different people. He struggles with emotions, you do not, you struggle with being perfect, he does not, so the events, though seemingly similar, would naturally affect you both quite differently.”

“I don’t want to hurt him, but I think I should go to my parents for a few days, and just see how I do there.”

“Do you think that will help or solve your problems?”

Amy pounded the counter with her fist, “I don’t know, but it’s something, it’s something different and I feel like I should at least try it.”

“What will you tell Jake?”

“I don’t know, I’ll figure it out.” Tears were now cascading down her cheeks, “thank you sir, I should go.”

“Any time Amy, take care of yourself.”

She allowed herself a moment to cry and recompose herself, she then gathered a few items and took her bags to the kitchen where she wrote a note.

Jake, I’m sorry for the yelling, you don’t deserve this, neither of us does. I’m going to my parents, not to get away from you but to spare you from a little of this, please don’t be hurt, I don’t know what to do or feel.

Love, Amy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you liked this chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake suffer separately through the aftermath

Jake

In the past five years, Jake Peralta had been shot, stabbed, wrongfully imprisoned, threatened by various mobsters, and punched more times than he could count, but as he read and re-read the note Amy had left him explaining she was going to her parents, there was no doubt in his mind that this was the most painful of all of them. When he wasn’t with Amy, he didn’t know what he was losing, when he went to jail and into protective custody, he still had Amy, just not with him, but this, this was different, this was terrifying.

He was searching for any clue he could find of how he could make it better; his cop brain was beyond its depth because there was nothing he could do or could have done to prevent it other than never leaving her side the day she was taken. Jake had always been hard on himself, but this would fuck with him for the rest of his life. The what ifs on the day she was taken, when he saw her again for the first time after she was taken, still tied up and blindfolded in that industrial complex, he thought the world was right, that his best friend and wife was back. He hadn’t considered the anguish she would feel from her experience.

He started pacing up and down in the apartment, his skin felt like it was crawling, his tears remained on the verge of pouring out at any second. He screamed a few times, he threw a few things, he was beginning to feel like he and Amy had no control of their lives, something always fucked it up, something always managed to interrupt their happiness, normally it was momentarily or the threat of it. Their current situation was direr, and Jake knew it and was eating him up inside.

After an hour of aimlessly wandering and reacting, Jake walked outside to his car and sat down. He stared through the windshield and didn’t know where he could even go or what he could do. Inaction wasn’t something he understood but he felt that right now giving her some space could be important. He put his face in his hands and just breathed, in and out and trying to just keep pushing through, to not give up or just implode. 

A tap on his window startled him, he had no idea how long he’d been sitting there like that. He slowly looked at the window, thinking it would be a beat cop or a concerned neighbor only to see Gina.

“Hey Boo, you should really fall apart indoors, it’s unseemly to do it in public.”

“Gina, hey, not in the mood, be glad I’m not screaming in public or going Chris Brown.”

“Careful Jake, he’s a bad boy, no good, but he’s got talent. Anywho, Holt sent me to check on you, something about me being amazing and your oldest friend and confidant.”

Jake closed his eyes and shook his head, “did he know Amy was leaving?”

Gina nodded slowly, “she called him and sort of hinted it, he was worried she might not wait around for you.”

Jake threw his head back the thrust his arms forward towards the steering wheel, shaking it, “yeah, I got back, arms full of groceries, no Amy in sight, I panicked, ran around, and then found the note. Now I’m in my parked car going nowhere.”

Gina leaned up against the car, “you all right Jakey?”

Jake just shook his head for a few seconds, “no Gina, I’m not, I’m worried sick about my wife, and I’m angry. I’m so fucking pissed that my life doesn’t seem to be mine to live, mine to screw up, jail and now this? I’m not that strong Gina, I made it through the shit I’ve gone through because of Amy, knowing she was there for me.” He softly put his head to his hands on the steering wheel.”

“Jakey, you know me and my ways, I always make fun of her, but this sucked boo, I’m sorry.”

Jake sighed, “yeah, well I don’t know if I can stand losing her, I have a lot to figure out.”

Gina eyed him suspiciously, “like what Jake?”

Jake rolled his eyes, “like if I want to be a cop, if I want to stay in Brooklyn. Amy is my life Gina, it sounds super cheesy, I know, but it’s true. If she left me, I’d have to get away, if she comes back, I gotsta protect her and make sure it doesn’t happen again, I should have stopped it, I should have protected her.” His fists began pounding the steering wheel, tears finally seeping every so slightly out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

Amy

Amy sat on her childhood bed, her back against the wall and knees against her chest with her arms wrapped around them staring forward. Her childhood home didn’t feel any better than her apartment, but here her family would stay out of her way, her parents had always given her space.

She started rocking back and forth slowly, closing her eyes as she thought about everything that had happened. She could still vividly picture the way Swayze tilted his head, she could remember with perfect clarity the tone of his voice. As she thought of this man, her tormenter, she then started to think about Jake, she knew he would give her space, he was respectful that way, but she also knew she was breaking his heart and not helping either one of them, yet she couldn’t think of anything she could do to help her or him. Helpless was not something she had ever been accustomed to or willing to accept, but helpless is what she was and how she felt.

After rocking for a few minutes, she picked up her phone, she had silenced it, just in case Jake did call or text, she didn’t think she could handle it. She saw there was one text, from Jake.

Jake: 

He had just put in spaces and sent the message, she blinked at it a few times and came to the conclusion that is probably exactly how he felt, he had no idea how to help her, he was suspended for a month, he couldn’t go to the Nine-Nine and everyone was probably giving him space to be with her, she closed her eyes again for a few seconds and then opened them and stood up.

As she walked in the kitchen, her parents said nothing to her, “do the two of you think I’m being stupid?”

Her parents glanced at each other, her dad gestured to her mom, conceding authority on the matter, “Amy, we don’t know what you’re going through, we don’t think you’re stupid, we love you and we are worried about you.”

“What would you do if I told you I was moving back home, quitting the force, leaving Jake, and just giving up? Would I get the Santiago’s don’t give up speech? Would I get the no jobless Santiago’s live in this house number?”

Victor looked down and shook his head, “no Amy, people who have been through the ordeal you have do not get my standard speeches, those were for your brothers, you never needed them, and you still don’t.”

Amy crossed her arms, “you wouldn’t tell me good job for leaving Jake or make me feel guilty for leaving Jake.”

Her parents looked at each other again, both with looks of extreme concern across their faces, Camila spoke this time.

“We would tell you that leaving him won’t make you feel better, that moving here won’t solve your problems, but we would love you, no matter what, but you have to know that Jake will always love you, regardless of what you did to him.”

Victor stood up and walked next her, not touching her, but making her feel safe by just being there, “Amy, there may have been a time I would have loved to hear you wanted to leave him, but he has proven himself, to us, to you, I don’t know what is right for you, but don’t do anything that would harm what you have with him, it’s hard to find a partner in this world, as a cop or in a marriage who will have your back and support you and never give up on you. You stood by him while he was in jail, he told me if it weren’t for you he would have hung himself, on the first day. You may never feel like the old you again, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness again.”

Jake

A DVD of Sponge Bob was the only thing he could find that wouldn’t depress him from his personal video library. His normal cop movies felt extremely real to him right now and he cried when he saw Point Break and thought of the men who copied the criminals in that movie and what they had done to his wife, so he now sat on the couch watching Sponge Bob and hoping for a comet to crash into the apartment.

There was a knock on the door, his first thought was to ignore it, he didn’t want a pep talk, he didn’t know who it was, but if it was someone he knew, they would want to give him a pep talk, but he didn’t want to take his feelings out on them, it could create a never ending cycle of that.

He cracked the door a bit and saw Charles, who was holding a stack of Pizzas, Jake almost grinned a genuine grin for the first time in days.

“Jake, buddy, I just heard about Amy, I know you won’t want to talk about it a lot, but I’m here, I have Pizzas and the General, with Buster Keaton, one of the best comedies of all times.”

Jake opened the door all the way and watched as his friend entered with the stack of pizzas, “thanks Charles, I may not be talkative, but thanks.”

“When Holt told me that Amy was at her parents and you were home alone, he told me that if I was true friend, I would just be there for you, not try to fix your problems and not try to Boyle it over as Gina calls it, but just be there, so here I am buddy.”

Normally, Jake would have never consented to watching a silent movie, but despite his reservations, he loved the movie, it was the sort of mindless entertainment he needed, and Charles would give him facts from time to time.

“He did all his own stunts, no special effects with the cannons, those mothers were real Jake.”

“This is the best soundtrack to it I’ve found, the silent movies had live accompanists, and this is a music professor from out west, he does a great job.”

“He thought being a confederate would be funnier since they were the ultimate losers of the war.”

The pizza was amazing, he hadn’t eaten well since the kidnapping, he couldn’t even face the prospect of reheating the stir fry he had made, he would have cried for sure. He reached out and punched Charles gently on the shoulder, “thanks, Charles, I needed this. It’s nice to remember that even though the world is fucked up and may be fucked, I still have friends and there are some good things.”

Charles beamed at his idol, “Jake, you were there for me when Vivian dumped me, you are always there for me. I will never know how this feels Jake, this is Amy, I wish I was your closest friend, but I am happy to have second place, but I know you are in pain, but I’m here.”

Amy

The last ray of daylight had vanished as Amy watched the windows from her bed, she would occasionally think of Jake, but she couldn’t think of only him because she would end up crying and she just didn’t want to do that anymore. She was in the process of picking a movie when her dad popped his head in.

“Amy, there is someone here to see you.”

Amy rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, “Dad, tell Jake I love him, but I can’t face him right now.”

“It’s not Jake, it’s the rude woman from your precinct, the one your mother thought was insane.”

“Gina?”

“Yes, the secretary who does nothing.”

Amy stood up and walked to the door, she could not fathom what Gina could want, but maybe yelling at someone would make her feel better.

“Sergeant Santiago Peralta Boyardee, good to see you.”

“Gina why are you in Jersey at my parents’ house?”

“Not for the night clubs, these ones are frightening here. No, I’m here on orders from Holt. He thought the Nine-Nine should check up on you and Jake. I saw him earlier.”

Amy gulped and looked away. “I really don’t want to talk, I just need to be left alone. Thanks.”

“Amy, wait. What happened, sucked, I know it did, you remember how freaked I got when my apartment got broken into. I’m sorry you have to deal with this shit. I just thought I should share my Gina wisdom with you.”

Amy turned, she was curious, this was the nicest Gina had ever been to her, “and what is that?”

“To not shut Jake out. He gets it more than anyone else you know. The boy used to buy himself presents because his mom worked up to three jobs and his dad didn’t give a fuck. He gets pain and anguish, I mean, he survived prison, but he only did it because of you.”

“Yeah, my dad told me the same thing, Hold=t said something about it too, he’s stronger than me I guess.”

Gina shook her head, “no Einstein, he might be smarter though.”

Amy’s eyes narrowed, “Excuse me?”

“Amy, Jake survived because he knew you would be there, he knew that if he could force himself to survive that you would be there for him. He knew that alone, he wasn’t strong enough, but with you, he could do it. Now you need him, don’t blow it and try to go solo too soon, as I always tell people, why be a Fatone when you can be Timberlake?”

Jake

He woke up leaning against a smiling Charles, “Boyle, please don’t look at me like that, I’ll never sleep again.”

“Sorry Jake, it was just so sweet and perfect.”

Jake rubbed his eyes, “what time is it?”

“Just past midnight my perfect angel.”

Jake frowned, “okay Boyle, go home and give that to your lady and son.”

Boyle hugged Jake and left, he hated to admit it, but he had felt better while Boyle was there and had actually managed to sleep a little. Jake went into the bedroom and got the big blanket, Amy never allowed him to take it out of the bedroom, but if was going to be awake and depressed, he was going to be comfortable.

As he wrapped himself in his blanket cocoon and settled down to another episode of Sponge Bob, he heard the key in the door and in an instant was looking at a bewildered Amy.

“Jake, you know the rules.” She lowered her head and avoided eye contact.

“Ames, I…I thought that…I worried…I was so sure…”

Amy offered a small but sincere smile, “yeah, me too, but here I am.”

Jake stood up and shed the large blanket and carefully approached Amy, he had no intention of hugging her when she pulled him tightly into herself and a huge embrace, “I’m broken Jake, fucked up as you would say, can you love a fucked up me?”

Jake started to shed tears, “Ames, fucked up, not fucked up, as long as it’s you, I will love you, I will fight for you.”

Amy rested her head on his chest, “good, because it may take a while.”

“As long as you’re with me, I don’t care.”

Amy started to cry, to hell with it she thought, she needed to face these emotions if she was ever to get past them, “I love you Jake, I’m so sorry…”

Jake gently put a finger to her mouth, “Ames, no apologies, this is us, shit happens, terrible shit, but at least I have you, that’s all I care about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers, I need my ego stroked! Please leave comments if you would like more chapters!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake try to confront their feelings and find normal again.

Amy and Jake

He woke up on the floor, next to the couch, Amy hadn’t felt like sleeping in the bed yet and Jake insisted he didn’t mind sleeping on the floor, he knew she was a long way from wanting prolonged physical contact as her body had felt betrayed by the physical and emotional abuse she had suffered, so he was pleasantly surprised when he realized they had been holding hands while sleeping.

“Morning.” He jumped slightly upon hearing her voice, he thought she was still asleep.

“Hey.” He smiled as best he could, they were far from being past the turmoil of everything that had happened, but this was an improvement.

Amy reached forward with her other arm and her fingers gently brushed his hair. “Thanks for being patient.”

Jake nodded numbly, he had no words, there was no playbook for this, he was still terrified of his world crashing down on his head, but right now, she was here.

“Jake, don’t be like this, I can’t handle it if you are scared to even talk to me, I’m trying, but I need you to be normal for me, one of us has to, and I know it’s not fair, you went through hell too, but I need it Jake.” She pulled him forward, pressing her head to his.

“I’ll try, I’m soops worried about you Ames, with what happened, I know what you’ll say, but I feel so bad it happened that they took you, when I was there.”

Amy sighed, “it would have happened regardless Jake, these men were professionals, failure wasn’t an option for them.”

“I know.” Silence followed, each of them searching for words to make the situation less awkward, to make the other feel less tense, but no words came to either of them as their thoughts were wrapped up in the other. After several minutes of silence, Jake caressed her back with his hands, moving slowly, not sure of himself, not sure of what her reaction would be, but wanting to comfort her in the ways he knew how.

“Jake?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Yeah Ames?” He braced himself, the past days had taught him to expect anything.

“If I had left, and not come back…” She didn’t finish the question, as she spoke he closed his eyes, he knew exactly what she was hinting at.

“I don’t know. I would have left New York, after a while, I would have tried to win you back, or whatever it is, but yeah, I would have eventually had to leave, everywhere I would look I would see you.”

“It’s not about winning me back.” She poked him, the first sign of playfulness he had witnessed since everything happened.

“I know Ames, I just don’t know what else to call it. I don’t think they have a name for it, I could come up with one.”

Amy covered his mouth with her hand, “no, please no, you’re the worst at that. Remember the night you got home from prison, you kept referring to our first time that night as prison sex and freaked out a lot of people later at the Nine-Nine.”

Jake laughed, he savored it, it had seemed like a lifetime since he had laughed, especially with her. “Yeah, good call. Remember when Terry’s bone poked through the leg and I kept calling it a boner? HR still sends me emails reminding me not to talk about Terry’s boners at work.”

Amy sighed, but a much different one than she had recently, it was a sigh on contentment, she still hurt, she still felt conflict, but this, this felt nice. “I’m sorry Jake.”

Jake pulled back and looked at her, “Amy, there is nothing to be sorry fer girl, sorry, but seriously, this straight up sucks. I’m just glad you’re here. What made you decide to come back last night?” He knew he was taking a risk, but he felt that if they could start talking about things, they could improve more and decrease the risk for another episode.

“Gina came over, she reminded me that we’re a team, you and I. I can’t do this alone, and I was stupid to try, but…I was so angry, at the men who did this to me, and then at you, because it happened to me and I felt so alone, and it was stupid to be mad at you.”

“Anger doesn’t have to make sense, mine never does.”

“No, it doesn’t, but I realized that I was angry that I could never confront Swayze, that I couldn’t face him without the mask and get justice or even revenge, and that scared me, I’ve never been a revenge person, but I wanted to make him suffer Jake, and I was pissed that I couldn’t even have the chance.”

Jake was silent, Amy noticed the tears beginning to pool in the corners of his eyes, she immediately followed his train of thought, “Jake, you are not to blame, at all. Let that go, please, if we’re both holding on to this, we’ll never make it.”

“I know, I know, it’s just, I’m so fucking tired of feeling like a victim, I know you were the victim here, but look at all that has happened, and I feel powerless, I just have to ride wave after wave of intense suckiness.”

“I know, but at least we’re riding through it together.”

Jake nodded, “that’s the only thing helping me keep my shit together.”

The rest of the day went without incident for them, there were many awkward moments and times where they each was unsure what to do, but they were both aware of the other and Amy began to feel more comfortable in their apartment, she was still uncomfortable with many aspects of life after her ordeal, but at least being in the apartment with Jake no longer felt wrong.

As Jake nodded off on the couch late that night, Amy nudged him, Jake rubbed his eyes and grinned at her, “you want to spread out, I’ll go to the floor.”

Amy shook her head and lowered her eyes, “No, I want to try to sleep in the bed, I may still need some space there, but baby steps, right?”

“Bill Murray, What About Bob, nailed it.”

Amy smiled, not her normal smile, but a smile that was a work in progress, it still had shades of the sadness and conflict she felt, but it was closer to her real smile than the previous tries. “I knew you’d like that reference.”

They both walked slowly, Jake got into bed first, he tucked himself into the fetal position facing the wall on his side of the bed, he was surprised when Amy finally climbed in the bed and proceeded to scoot over next to him and drape her arm over him, “I know, I’m a hypocrite, but victim’s choice, right?”

Jake wanted to cry and laugh, but he slowly nodded, “for sures, whatever you need.”

Amy sighed, a contented sigh again, a sound Jake could listen to forever, “two days ago I could have slapped you for that, I was so angry because I didn’t know what I needed and was upset others expected me to know.”

“And now?” He took a chance, but she had been opening up and acting more like herself.

“Now? Now it feels like I still don’t know exactly what I need, but I want to try normal things again, I was so sure nothing could go back to normal, but then as I drove home to you, I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to surrender that to Swayze and his minions, that they did their harm, but they couldn’t steal my normal, my life. It is still hard to not break down or think about things, but I’m trying.”

“Your dad told me we only fail when we stop trying, never heard that before, but it meant a lot to me.”

Amy awoke the next morning to the sound of the toilet flushing, Jake came out with a guilty look on his face, “sorry, I didn’t want to wake you, but peeing the bed wasn’t an option either.”

Amy sleepily shook her head, “it’s okay, it’s almost nine, I need to get up. I want to be more active or proactive, or something.”

“Ames, we have a month off, so we can do some things, but let’s not go crazy.”

Jake laid next to her, barely touching her, she purposely scooted into him more, increasing the contact. “C’mon Jake, I said I wanted normal, not you being scared, if I want you to back off, you’ll know.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Jake, there’s something that’s been on my mind, since I was captive, well, while I was captive, and I want to talk about it, it might be difficult and don’t let your mind wander, it’s not about us splitting up, I never want that.”

“Okay,” Jake’s mind didn’t know where to wander, he inhaled deeply and hoped for the best.

Amy looked at him and cupped his cheek with her hand, “as I contemplated my chances and thought of all that has happened to us, I decided or logically deduced that I don’t think we should have children.”

Jake said nothing, Amy had always made starting or having a family an if when they talked, but this, this was real, this had a finality to it, but this was also his wife who had been tortured because of cases he worked. He exhaled and kissed the top of her forehead, “okay, I get it. Do I need to get neutered, Bob Barker would be thrilled.”

Amy’s face looked sad despite the slight smile on her face, “no stupid, and they don’t call it neutered for humans. I’m on the pill, that should be good enough.”

Jake nodded, “okay, you’re sure.”

Amy shrugged, “one big decision at a time, I can decide the fate of your sperm later. You’re okay with not having kids or kidz with a z as you say?”

Jake’s eyes wandered around the room, as if he were escaping her scrutiny, “I mean, I wanted a family, with you, but I will never force you, and you were tortured while kidnapped, I was in prison, a bad one, hard to raise a family like that.”

“Exactly. Plus, I feel like with what happened, my life has changed more than I wanted it to anyways, I don’t know if I could handle more big changes.”

“Gotcha. Ten-four, loud and clear.”

Amy gently smacked his stomach, “spill Jake, what else are you thinking?”

“Nothing, it’s sad our DNA can’t mix and make a superbaby, but again, keeping you here with me, priority number one.”

“You can’t tell Charles, he would collapse and then die. He’s wanted us to have children literally since the moment we met.”

“I know. It’ll be crazy hard for him, but since he has his own family and doesn’t control us, he’ll live. He may annoy the bejeezus out of me when he realizes we won’t have kids, but I can go undercover or something to avoid him. What about your parents?”

“Huh, well…honestly, I think they’ll just be happy I’m happy and happy I’m with you. They were worried I’d do something stupid and leave you.”

“Really? I think Victor may like me.”

“He loves you, a lot I think. I asked them what they’d do if I left you and quit the force, they were stunned but supportive, to both of us.”

“Wow, your parents like me and didn’t urge you to leave me, that’s insane.”

“Not really. I’m in danger as a cop no matter what, so having a husband who can track me down and still treats me like I’m special, that’s important to them, especially my dad.”

“Who wouldn’t treat you special, have you seen your bod?”

Amy frowned slightly, Jake felt instant regret, “sorry Ames, but you have to know I will always think you are hot, or beautiful or whatever sounds the least douchey, they could never do anything to you that would make me change my mind.”

“I know, I’m just a visitor in my body still, it feels so weird, with everything…”

“Sorry, I’ll do better.”

Amy grabbed his hand, “Jake, you’re doing great, I wanted normal, this is normal, this is very normal.”

Jake offered a weak smile, “I just gotta make sure I’m doing good enough Ames, I’m scurred, real scurred, you know me and my doubts, everything you go through, I sorta feel like it’s on me, we’re partners.”

“Jake, think, if you’re to blame for my stuff, then I’m responsible for what’s happened to you, which is a lot more.”

Jake fidgeted, “it’s different.”

“Because I’m a woman? C’mon Peralta, that’s not like you.”

Jake shook his head vigorously, “no, not that, it’s that, well, when we got together and so much went to crap so fast, I told myself I would not let that happen, I couldn’t lose you.”

Amy smiled and hugged him tighter, “Jake, that’s sweet, but ridiculous, we’re cops, things will happen, but this, the support we give each other, that’s what matters, that’s what will save us, not from harm per se, but from losing each other.”

“Smort.” Jake smiled at her.

“Toit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you enjoyed this!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake get away from it all to try and find normalcy.

Amy and Jake

On the fifth day following Amy’s return, both she and Jake began to feel restless and cooped up. Jake had suggested a small trip, driving somewhere, but Amy wanted to get as far away as possible, but she wanted something relaxing and within reason for their budget. In the end they both agreed on a return trip to Puerto Rico, reasoning that this time they could do more of the touristy things and less newlywed type activities.

Two days later they were landing in San Juan, Jake was somewhat concerned for Amy as she had been a little apprehensive on the plane ride, the tight space and sitting so still affected her a lot. He worried it might cast a pall on their trip which was supposed to help her forget, which Jake knew was an impossibility as something that impacts your life so much cannot simply be pushed out, it took time, lots of time.

As they got out of their taxi and checked into their hotel, Amy looked exhausted and Jake started to question the decision to come there, as he opened the door and followed her into their hotel room, she walked straight to the bed and laid down, Jake brought in the luggage and unpacked a few things for each of them, he felt the need to pick up some of the slack for the things she would normally do. When he looked at her again, she had a definite appearance of sadness which caused him to be angry with himself for letting her rush through things when she needed rest.

She must have sensed his concern, “Babe, it’s okay, I’m fine, just a lot on my mind.”

Jake stopped moving, she hadn’t called him babe once since before everything went to hell, he didn’t know what to make of it, but he thought it had to be a good sign. After processing it and deciding it was definitely a good thing, he set out to finish unpacking.

“Babe, I need you.”

Jake continued to place some of her items in the dress drawer closest to her side of the bed, “I’m here Ames, I’ll come lay down in just a sec.”

“No, Babe, I NEED you need you.” As he turned around, her eyes showed desire, a wanting he used to know, but now after everything he felt guilty seeing it.

“Are you for sures, because I am fine, the last thing I want to do is push you and force you into anything.” He felt himself starting to sweat.

She shook her head, “no, bullshit to all of that, I need you, I want you. On the way here, I thought about how they touched me, it was terrifying, but it’s not even close to how you have ever touched me and that’s what I need, what I want, I need to be touched by loving hands, discovering me, adoring me, not hurting me or threatening me.”

Jake was by her side now, tears almost forming again as he heard this, he pledged to himself since the moment he saw her battered and bruised that he would never rush her or make her feel guilty about sex, it had to be her decision, he had more or less come to the conclusion it would be months and he was willing to wait.

Amy playfully kicked at him, “say something, please.”

Jake sputtered a little, fighting the frog in his throat, “I, well, I just thought that, well, fuck Ames, I’m always ready for you, I’m psyched for sex, don’t get me wrong, but the fact that you sound like you, that you are improving, that means everything to me.”

A single tear glided down Amy’s cheek, “don’t make me cry Peralta, name of your sex tape.”

Jake erupted into a joyous laughter and fell softly onto her, his hands beginning to caress and explore as they had longed to, as he always longed to do. They moved slowly, in the past they would have each probably thought excruciatingly slowly, but they needed this, Amy needed the tenderness, the assurance that this was an act of love and Jake needed her to feel his love, to feel his true feelings for her, not lust, not sexual desire.

After at least twenty minutes of tender kissing and caressing, Amy sat up and slowly, deliberately removed her blouse, she then maintained eye contact with Jake and undid her bra, taking in the way he looked at her, not a threatening way, but the way only he could look at her, there was desire and want in his gaze, but there was so much more as well. She reached out and took Jake’s hand in hers, guiding him to her waistline and started him in removing her pants and underwear, Jake gently slid them down and then pulled off his t-shirt and discarded his jeans and boxers in record time.

Jake gave Amy a quizzical look that asked what she wanted, Amy bit her bottom lip softly, “Babe, I need you inside of me, I need to feel you moving in me, me moving on you, I need to feel like we did our first time or on our honeymoon. As Jake entered her he kept a careful eye on her, not wanting to hurt her or move on her if she changed her mind.

When Jake had slid in all the way, Amy’s arms wrapped around him tightly and she started moving her hips, slowly at first, and then suddenly quickly, her hands exerted more pressure on his back and soon her fingernails were digging in him as she gasped. Amy was normally very vocal during orgasms, but this was different, this was her acting in a sense of urgency and need, not for the sex but for the fact that it was them, that they were together, like this.

Jake started to pump faster and faster, he closed his eyes as sweat drops stung them twice, the next time he opened them he saw her face again, her eyes closed, in the moment, his Amy, his wife, his partner. As he felt himself ready to release, Amy grabbed his hips and began grinding on him as she climaxed again.

As he fell back on the bed next to her, his thoughts were not of sex nor of pleasure, but of pure happiness, that she could trust him, not that she didn’t trust him, but her trust of everything had been shaken. Men had hurt her, men had made her suffer and now she was ready to let him be a part of her life as they were before and that buoyed him up and assured him that he could weather the storm. 

That night they ate dinner at one of the hotel’s restaurants on a terrace overlooking the ocean, Amy had a look that Jake had not seen yet, of relaxation, probably not all the way there, that would be impossible, but things were starting to feel more normal for her, they were making sense and she felt part of things again. “Quit staring weirdo, I’m fine.”

“I’ll say,” Jake quipped, which earned him a soft kick under the table. “Just kidding, I know you are, I’m just happy your happyish, you know? The little things mean a lot, but this feels big.”

She smiled at him as she took a sip of wine, “I agree, it does, it’s still challenging, but I’m fighting it Jake, I couldn’t be a victim anymore, I had to be the fighter again, it’s all I know.”

Jake took her hand in his, “I know, it’s why I love you Ames, you never give up, everyone but my moms gave up on me, but I knew you never would.”

Amy bowed her head sadly, “I almost did.”

Jake shook his head, “no, that doesn’t count, when you were held captive and tortured, sorry, that one doesn’t count.”

Amy grinned, “I’m glad we came here, it’s helping.”

Jake nodded, “we may need to move here.”

The week was not without its heavier moments, twice Amy woke up screaming and then crying in the night, in a cold sweat as the nightmares felt so real with Swayze cutting her more and the others hurting in worse ways than actually happened, but unlike before, she now found solace in Jake’s embrace and he was beginning to feel useful again , though after each of Amy’s nighttime episodes Jake would cry softly so not to wake her as his guilt for what happened overtook him.

Jake continued to proceed cautiously and never initiated sex, which was starting to drive Amy crazy, each of the seven times were started by her, which normally would not annoy her, but this meant that Jake was still feeling overly protective or worried about her. The second to last night it finally annoyed her enough that she felt the need to address it.

“Jake, why can’t you touch me without an engraved invitation?”

Jake was sitting next to her on the balcony with his arm around her, he knew what she meant but he didn’t want to have the conversation, “I touched you just now, no invitation necessary, so there.”

Amy turned more so she could face him better, “you know that’s not what I meant, you used to not be able to keep your hands off me, I know you’re worried, but normal Jake, we need normal.”

Jake looked down, “Ames, this has been amazing, but you don’t understand, I was there when they took you, I saw the van speed away and then you…well you know…I can’t shake it off. I do my best for you, to help you, but the guilt, it’s real Ames, so fucking real. Every time you suffer I think of every tiny thing that could have changed the situation, I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it.”

Amy was silent for nearly a minute, Jake’s arm still around her, “Jake, if we don’t forgive ourselves, we’ll never make it. I keep coming down hard on myself in my head about what I did wrong, but I said it before and it’s true dammit, it would have happened no matter what, there was nothing we could have done to prepare for that or deter it, don’t look at me like that, it means to stop it. You didn’t give up on me, on finding me or afterward when I left and wanted to not come back, you were and are doing everything you need to, and I am doing what I need to, even when it feels wrong.”

Jake just nodded, he still hurt, but he knew she was right, they would never get past it if he couldn’t accept that it happened and just be happy that she was found and rescued before anything worse occurred.

Silence followed, Amy’s thoughts were of her husband and how she could convince him he did nothing wrong while Jake thought of the amazing woman he had been fortunate enough to find and fall in love with and more amazingly have her fall in love with him. His hand slowly crept down her front until his right thumb started caressing her breast and then her nipple through her thin night shirt, Amy made a soft sound, Jake moved slightly so he could kiss her neck and brought his other hand around and gently slid it under her waistband and to over her underwear and started to very lightly apply pressure as she ever so slightly lifted her hips to increase the pressure. 

Soon they were on the bed, their clothes in front of the sliding door of their room, Amy pushed Jake down and climbed on top of him, the first time she had done so on their trip, Jake watched in amazement, as he always did with her, as she guided him inside of her and started moving on him, his eyes widening, his pulse quickening, sweat beginning to drip for his brow. This was normal, it might not always be normal, but for now, this was normal and what they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you are enjoying this so I have motivation to keep writing!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy has to testify in court against her surviving captors.

“How could I not have prepared us for this, I’m so sorry Ames, this is fucked up.” Jake couldn’t sit down, he paced back and forth from their table to the couch, Amy would have preferred for him to sit down, but she was agitated as well. The day after they returned from Puerto Rico, she received her summons for the Grand Jury phase of the case against her surviving kidnappers. The prosecutors had done all they could to spare Amy this, she had been spared from the preliminary hearing, which had happened the day the they left on their trip, but the defense demanded she be present to testify for the grand jury.

“Jake, we can’t do anything about it, it’s my duty as a cop and as a citizen, they have a right to a fair trial.” Amy wondered if Jake believed in her words, she believed in them, in general, but right now she felt the rage in her rising again, her desire for revenge which she hated to feel made her feel tense and uneasy.

“Yeah, I understand, but why do they need you? You weren’t the officer who picked up these assassins, who have killed before, who were wearing the masks they were arrested in, who were running from the cops, and oh yeah, one of them had a knife with your blood on it.”

Amy just stared at the floor, she hated thinking about that knife, she had never seen it, only felt it, she had no idea what it actually looked like, how big it was, what type of blade it had, she just knew it had pushed her to her limits. Jake turned around and saw the look on Amy’s face and closed his eyes momentarily while he tried to force his brain to remember that Amy had been through hell and him describing the details was probably not helping the situation. Jake took a deep breath and sat down next to her on the couch.

“I’m sorry Ames, I’m so busy being pissed off that I’m probably making it worse.”

Amy offered a halfhearted smile, “it’s okay.”

Jake sighed, “no, it’s not, I’ll chill. Listen, what do you want to do today and to get ready for tomorrow? Anything you want.”

Amy thought, she could use something to take her mind off it all, after the peace she started to feel on their trip, everything came crashing down as she was forced to think about her ordeal and talking with the prosecutors about what she would say to ready herself to go through specific details. She looked up at Jake again, “we don’t have to, but the Met, the museum, not your beloved baseball team is always a calming place for me, I get lost in the history, the beauty. I know, I’m a dork.”

Jake rubbed his face with his hands, “that sounds amazing, it will get you in your adorable dork zone, which I find sexy, and take us both away from worrying about this shit.”

At noon, Jake was following behind an enthralled Amy in the Lehman Wing of the museum. Amy stood in front of the El Greco paintings, she slowly moved so she was standing before the painting of a Cardinal, the painting was titled, Cardinal Ferdinand Niño de Guevara. Jake shrugged as she looked at it, it was a kind of ugly guy in red, but he and Amy rarely agreed on art. Amy sighed, and Jake noticed the intensity with which she took in the painting.

“Ames, you okay? The Pope creeping you out?”

Amy smiled slightly, “not a Pope Jake, he was a powerful Cardinal, in Spain.”

Jake was unimpressed, “well, that’s Spain’s problem.”

Amy took his hand in hers, “When I studied art history in college, learning about El Greco’s life was one of my favorite topics, he made incredible religious works, his paintings were everywhere in Spain, and yet, he was still in trouble with the church there, they persecuted him a bit during the Spanish Inquisition. The Cardinal there,” she motioned toward the painting with her other hand, “he was supposed to be a man of God, a leader, yet notice the lack of compassion, he lacks the piety of El Greco’s other religious figures.”

Jake looked at her, “it’s a good thing I love you.”

Amy squeezed his hand, “this is important, to me, El Greco did everything right, he knew the right people, he was extremely talented, yet they still found fault with what he did, with what he painted and how he painted, he did everything he knew how to do, and it still wasn’t good enough. He was forced to alter a few of his paintings and denounce ideas he had portrayed in his paintings that the Cardinals didn’t agree with.”

Jake frowned slightly, “still boring Ames.”

Amy shook her head slowly, “oh Jake, it’s a good thing I love YOU. The point I’m making, my non-art appreciating husband, is that I get him, El Greco, I understand him. I sort of did when I first learned about his history and life, but now, I really understand it, I have given everything to be a good cop, followed every rule, done extra, and yet in the end, it wasn’t good enough. I can’t tell you what Swayze looked like under his Reagan mask, I saw the picture, but it means nothing to me, it’s the mask I see I my nightmares and when I close my eyes. For me, he must have looked similar to the Cardinal here, someone who found a crack in someone else’s armor and made them pay for it, but the good news is that El Greco survived, and surviving the Spanish Inquisition when persecuted is something most couldn’t claim, and he is now regarded as a master and great influence on other painters, I hope my trials will do the same for me, that something good can come out of all of this, even if it’s for someone else.”

Jake looked at his wife with admiration, he knew she was incredibly intelligent, but sometimes he would forget just how intelligent she truly was. He felt ashamed for giving her shit about her art facts when what she was really doing was trying to put a positive spin on her own struggles. The rest of the afternoon was pleasant, Jake was bored out of his mind, but happy to see his wife relax and enjoy herself.

Jake watched with trepidation as Amy was called to the stand the next day. The previous evening, she had been very quiet, he wasn’t sure how much she slept, but she had pushed through and insisted she would be fine. As he watched her, he knew she was in emotional pain, that being there and being asked about these men, she hated it. The defense insisted they wanted her to testify, so the prosecutors decided they would call her and let her tell the story first and set up the pain she suffered before the defense could chip away at her story and try to discredit her, if they could at all. Jake hated defense lawyers, but ever more than that moment. To his horror, the lawyer for the very men who harmed and helped bring harm to his wife was none other than his ex-girlfriend, Sophia Perez.

Amy calmly gave the facts, which destroyed Jake to hear, Jake could feel himself tensing up when he felt his father-in-law’s hand pat his back for support. He appreciated Victor, though glad he was on his good side now. As Amy finished her testimony, it was now Sophia’s turn. 

“Sergeant Santiago, did you ever see the men without their masks?”

“No.”

“No? You don’t question at all if it was actually them?”

“No, not even a little.”

Sophia faced the jury, “why not? Couldn’t it have been anyone in those masks.”

Amy closed her eyes for a second, “no, Anthony Costa has a scar on his knuckle, the same scar I saw as I was tackled to the floor and then beaten by him for trying to escape, and Paul Mathison is missing a portion of his pinky finger on the left hand, which I saw as he tied me up after I went to the bathroom several times, so no, I don’t doubt the police captured the men who were wearing the masks when apprehended.”

Sophia asked a few more questions after that, but they were afterthoughts, Amy’s memory had thwarted any plans Sophia had to taint her testimony. During the next recess, Amy washed her face in the bathroom, while she felt good about the testimony, it had still been difficult emotionally.

Jake waited outside the bathroom for her, he felt empty, he was outraged that she had gone through any of this, but then to have to relive it and worse, to have to do it with Sophia as the lawyer, he began heaping all of Amy’s problem on his shoulders, taking the blame for them. When he saw Sophia, his blood ran cold.

“Sophia, see you still go after the good people, luckily my wife was prepared, but way to make the men who would have gladly killed or raped her seem like wonderful men.”

Sophia paused, “Peralta, look, they are scum, there. It’s my job, I’m truly sorry Amy had to go through that, and I’m sorry you did as well. I have to go after possible cracks in testimony, but going after hers made me feel terrible, honestly, my boss told me there was no other way, but I’m sorry.”

Jake just shook his head, not thinking about the fact that Sophia was going into the bathroom where Amy was. As Amy threw away the paper towel she used to dry her face, she found herself face to face with Sophia.

Sophia gulped, “Amy, first, congratulations on getting married, I can see he liked you a lot then, and that he truly loves you now, second, I am sorry that you were kidnapped and tortured, saying it’s my job to defend them sounds hollow, Jake already gave me the you’re the devil speech and look, but it is what it is.”

Amy smiled sadly, “they deserve a trial and a good lawyer, I hate them, but I get it. I do. Bye Sophia.”

Amy exited the bathroom to see Jake and Victor looking like she might explode at any second, she rolled her eyes at them, “calm down men in my life, I’m fine.” She kissed Jake and took him by the hand, “c’mon, let’s go to Jersey, my mom wants me to stop by.”

Jake sat on the couch, across from Victor in his recliner, Amy and her mom were looking through some boxes of Amy’s grandma’s Christmas decorations Camila wanted her to have. Jake’s head hung low, he felt so tense, his chest felt tight, he couldn’t understand how everyone else wasn’t as upset as he was right now.

“Jake, breathe or you may actually explode.” Victor smiled at him.

“Victor, how can you be happy? How can Amy be happy? That was such bullshit, her having to face Sophia and be questioned about her own kidnapping? I’m not okay. No one should be.”

Victor eyed Jake for a second, “Jake, this was not easy, for either of you, but it may be harder on you. Amy has had to let go of a lot of her hate and fear to get to this point, but you, you’ve just had to be ready to catch her if she fell. It’s your turn to let it go, it was terrible, it’s beyond terrible, but you have your lives ahead of you now, focus on that.”

Jake slumped back on the couch, “easier said than done,” he mumbled while rubbing his forehead with one hand.

“Is this about Amy not wanting a family at all?” 

Jake’s jaw actually dropped a little, “she told you?”

Victor sadly shook his head, “no, she told Camila. I know that is hard to hear, but can I give you some friendly advice?”

Jake shrugged, “sure?”

Victor leaned forward, “Jake, she is hurting, she will for some time, but I don’t think she is one hundred percent positive about the no family thing, I think in her mind, that it is a logical response for what she went through, for what you have also gone through. We Santiago’s are overly logical, we try too much to let our lives be dictated by logic, which is good sometimes, but other times it makes you miss the beauty around you. If we push Amy or fight her, she will dig in, but if we give her space and let her know she is supported, in time, she may change her mind. She told Camila you weren’t getting a vasectomy.”

Jake slammed his fist on the couch, surprising himself for showing so much emotion around Victor, “but it’s not fair Victor! She would be the most incredible mother, I’m scared to death of being a father, but with her, I think I could do it, I’d still probably suck but at least I’d be with her, she’d undo a lot of my damage. I want to scream when I think what those bastards stole from us…they stole our future, not all of it, but things that we whispered or sort of kind of talked about, you know?”

Victor smiled sadly at Jake, “I do Jake, I do. Just remember, the wound of her ordeal is still fresh, but it will heal more every day, and as it heals, parts of your future you thought were taken from you might return.”

“I guess, but it blows, hard.”

Victor chuckled, “it does blow, but I think she is forgetting something when she says no children.”

“What’s that?”

“That she’s in love with one. This is not meant as an insult Jake, I promise, but you have an energy, you love life, she is more energetic with you, I think in time she will want to roll the dice and take a chance on a family, I truly do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like this and would like more chapters!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy goes to the doctor to get her physical to return to work.

She was screaming again, Jake watched her as she had woken up the first time she screamed that night, she talked very little about her nightmares, it was almost as if they were more painful to face than what had actually happened. Jake hated that she suffered when she slept, one of the many injustices Amy had to face being a victim of a kidnapping aimed at him.

The past few nights, she said the same words or screamed the same thing every time, “no, I won’t help you, neither will he.” She would then scream and sometimes describe the cuts, it hurt Jake to know she must have tried protecting him, and then suffered so much because of it and then couldn’t tell him, but he also knew Amy could never had done otherwise, it’s who she was and that would never change, even under torture.

The nightmares were by far the worst they faced now as they had found a new rhythm, some familiar routines, and a few new ones as they dealt with their aftermath. They had a week until they were allowed to go back to work, Amy had to have physical first, she had only been looked at briefly by a doctor at the Nine-Nine when she was rescued, being a Sergeant and having the captain love you had its privileges.

Amy screamed once more and then opened her eyes, looking shocked and scared, she scanned in the darkness and seemed a bit taken a back when she noticed Jake watching her. “Shit, Jake, why are just staring at me, am I that freaky while I sleep now?”

Jake shook his head, “no Ames, here goes, for the past few nights, you’ve screamed my name and told Swayze you wouldn’t help him, and neither would I.”

Amy turned her head from him, “Sorry, I should have told you.”

“I get it, it’s not easy, they tortured you because you wouldn’t guarantee I’d help them, I’ve put it together from what you’ve told me, awake and asleep. I hate that it happened, but I would like to think I would have done the same.”

Amy leaned over and rested her head on his chest, “I think I should ask the doctor for some sleeping pills tomorrow, so I can avoid too much of that, not always the most restful sleep when I spend part of the night screaming.”

“Can I come with you? Not because I think you can’t handle it, but because I want to be there for you. They’ll look at your internal stuff too, I’ve seen your sides, they look better, but you got punched pretty hard there.”

“I know, that’s why I pushed so hard to not go to the hospital that night I was rescued, I would have gone crazy in a hospital room, I owe Holt for helping me avoid that. You can come, but no weird looks or comments, doctors have to touch all over sometimes and I know how you are, no eyebrows either.”

“I’ll avert my eyes then.”

Amy reached up and absentmindedly caressed his cheek, “My mom told me that you talked with my dad about me not wanting children, I know she told him, I’m not mad, just curious.”

Jake held her tighter, “stay curious, it’s better than mad.”

She sat up a little, “Jake, what did he say?”

Jake sighed loudly, “he said that I shouldn’t push you, but in the end, you could change your mind and see that you want a family.”

“What did you say?”

“Don’t remember.”

Amy elbowed him in the ribs, “you’re lying Jake.”

“Maybe, but I’m not stupid. Look, I support you, one hundred percent, I completely understand your take on this, I just hate that it still feels like so much was taken from us, our peace of mind, maybe our future, we’ll never know what things may have happened or now won’t, ya know?”

Amy nodded into his chest and absentmindedly ran a finger softly against his cheek, “yeah, I know. It sucks, Babe, totally sucks, but I’m just trying to do what I can to not implode, I feel so much better, but that decision just felt right.”

“I know, that’s why I support you, fulls one hundred.”

The next day at the doctor’s office Jake was jumpy as Amy rolled her eyes at him while she sat in her hospital gown waiting for the doctor. She had laid in various positions for several CT scans that morning so they could sign off on a clean bill of health, she was a little nervous they might find something they didn’t like, but she had been feeling better each day, so she doubted it despite the nagging worries in her mind, she had felt nauseated and thrown up in the morning, but she blamed it on her nerves, the same thing happened several times during final exams in college and before her sergeant’s exam.

As the doctor entered the room, she smiled at Amy and Jake, “Mr. and Mrs. Peralta, it’s a little strange for the husband to be present at a physical, but I understand due to your experiences. Amy, your CT scans look great, there was renal bruising, but minor, and everything seems fine.” The doctor proceeded to check other areas, smiling and assuring her everything was fine.

Amy was feeling relieved and Jake felt a weight lift off his shoulders, but then the doctor cleared her throat, “there was one thing that was surprising in your CT scan, I didn’t lead with that because your health is great, everything looks as it should.”

Jake couldn’t help himself, “what’s surprising, does she have superpowers now?”

Amy glared at Jake for a second and then a thought came to her, she closed her eyes and threw her head back a little, “Please tell me I’m not pregnant.”

Jake felt the room spin around him, the doctor looked a little concerned, “you are pregnant, I take it you suspected it, a little?”

Amy shook her head, she felt her face get hot and cheeks redden, “not really, until you said everything was fine, but you saw something surprising, I have felt nauseated.” Amy’s eyes widened, her fingers twitched a little as she mouthed some numbers, “Son of a bitch, that means…I was…I was pregnant when I was held captive.”

The doctor could sense the panic, she placed a hand on Amy’s shoulder, “yes, but we looked at all the tests and pictures and I assure you, the fetus is unharmed, it was early enough in the pregnancy that you and the baby are both in good health despite what you went through.”

Amy started crying, Jake just looked stunned, the doctor turned from Jake to Amy, “I take it this is not quite a wanted pregnancy with all that has happened.”

“Wanted?” Amy stood up, “I was kidnapped, tortured, threatened with rape because I’m a police officer and my husband was wrongfully imprisoned for the same reason, so no, this pregnancy is not wanted, not expected, not fucking believable! Jake! Say something!”

Jake closed his eyes and lowered his head, “Ames, if you don’t want to have a baby you don’t have to have one, I would never force that on you, you know that.”

“Doctor, how far along do you think I am, my guess would be six weeks, I hadn’t even thought about my last period, I stopped taking the pill like I’m supposed to and then didn’t even process it or thought it was the stress and strain on my body.”

The doctor nodded, “that can happen, but no, I estimate around seven weeks, give or take a week, so you’re probably on the money.”

Amy cried again, Jake wanted to do something, but he felt like anything he did would be wrong, he had no words, everything was crazy, this is what he wanted, but not like this, not if it would destroy the happiness they had worked so hard to regain since her rescue.

The doctor opened the door a crack, “I will give a few minutes to wrap your heads around everything, there are options, adoption, abortion is legal in this state, but we are not allowed to recommend that, but there is also counseling to help you get through this if you choose to go to term with your pregnancy.” The doctor left the room and Jake sat down still looking beyond stunned.

“Jake, how the hell could this happen to us? I hate it!”

Jake nodded, “I know, I’m sorry, I know this sucks.”

Amy slammed her hands down, “it’s fucking terrible timing Jake! The one thing I thought I felt certain about was not wanting a family.”

Jake sighed, “Ames, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Really? You’d have me get an abortion? You’d want to me to not have the baby? This could be our only chance, you’d be okay with that? I call bullshit Jake.”

Jake lowered his head, “Ames, I’m trying to do what you need me to, I will support whatever decision you make, this is your body, you went through hell, not me. I love you and while I do think you would be the best mom ever, I understand how you feel, one-hundreds, like I said before.”

Amy shook her head, “I can’t believe I didn’t notice I hadn’t had my period. I don’t know if I really thought it was stress or just didn’t’ notice.” 

She started crying again, Jake scooted up on the examination table next to her, “Ames, you can’t beat yourself up for anything, these things happen.”

Amy sighed and rubbed her head, “let me ask you this, if I had never been kidnapped, how would you be reacting now?”

Jake shook his head vigorously, “not playing that, you were kidnapped, there’s no dealing with this shiz without facing that.”

“I’m serious Jake, would you be acting differently?” She had no expression on her face, she didn’t look sad or angry, just waiting for his answer.

“Ames, not playing this, this is our life, as much as we hate it, this happened to you, we both have gone through a lot, that’s our life.”

Amy started to cry again, “the thing is Jake, I don’t want them to win, Swayze and his gang. I’ve closed myself off somewhat, I’ve made decisions based on what happened, so if I choose not to be a mom, is it my decision or their work making me do it? I can’t let them win, because while I’m freaked out, the truth is that deep down I never wanted to not try, it just seemed logical with all the shit that has happened, when I freak out and get scared, logic is all I have”

“Ames, I’m not pressuring you, you don’t have to!” Jake semi-shouted this and immediately softened his tone and brushed his fingers against her teary cheek.

“Jake! Listen to me! I want to, I’m scared, terrified, but I want to!” She softened a little and placed a hand on his face, “we’re good, right?”

Jake smiled, “of course, I think we’re getting our mojo back.”

Amy nodded, “me too, as much as is possible. The truth is Jake, if I had never been held captive, if that had never happened, I would be freaked out, a little, but I would so happy that you and I were going through this together. I am still turning to logic though Jake, we will need to discuss things, about our careers, you know my career has always been number one, but things have changed, I didn’t think I’d marry someone who supported me and made me realize work isn’t everything, and the kidnapping, it made me open my eyes to the fact that when I was facing danger, I didn’t think about not making captain, I though about what I’d miss with you, that’s important, I don’t want to be some happy homemaker, but I want us to have our family.” She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears, Jake just looked intently at her. Amy continued, “We have both said we don’t really control our lives, right?”

Jake nodded, “not even a little.”

“Well, then this is par for the course.”

“Golf lingo, really?”

Amy nudged him with her head, “hey, it’s relevant to this, the terminology works.”

Jake smiled, slightly, but sincerely, “I hope this kid is as smart as you are and that it doesn’t have my nose.”

Amy frowned, “listen to me, I’m freaked out about a lot of things with being pregnant and starting a family, but things I’m not worried about is our child being like you or looking like you. Your nose is fine, and you are intelligent, our baby will have the benefit or two parents raising it and not the t.v.”

Jake grinned even bigger now, “don’t knock my parent, t.v. was a wonderful guardian, it asked so little and gave so much, it provided advice and never made me do homework.”

Amy closed her eyes for a brief moment and exhaled, “we can do this, I can do this, I know I can, it’s just, well, you know me and plans, this wasn’t on my calendar, but so much that has happened isn’t on my calendar, so why fight them, it’s a part of life.”

“Yeah, for us anyway, sorry for that.” Jake looked at his shoes intently and rubbed them together.

“Jake don’t be sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong, it’s just that, life comes at us, it has been difficult, but we’re also happy. We had a beautiful wedding despite the bomb threat and all the changes we had to make, you proposed later than you wanted to because of being in prison, but I knew without any doubt that you were the one I wanted to grow old with, I knew before, but when you were gone, I would have done anything to get you back and I didn’t care about my career or anything, just you. I learned so much about myself, and you…you read books, you thought of me more than yourself, it was terrible, I know it was, it was for me, but we’re still here, and probably closer and better.”

Silence followed, the only sound was their breathing, Jake’s head was still spinning, he felt so many conflicting emotions, he had wanted a family, but this was so much to heap on Amy’s already hectic life and while she was still recovering, but his thoughts were interrupted.

“Jake, listen to me. I can see you, you’re blaming yourself and worrying about me. Do and don’t that, do worry about us and do what you always do, but don’t worry about me being pregnant or it being too much, we’ll make it, we always do.”

Jake’s throat felt so dry all of a sudden, his head ached, “I know, but things are so fucked up, I can’t help but worry about them being fucked up with the baby, not anything to the baby, but to us, who are the baby’s moms and pops.”

Amy ran her fingers through his hair softly, “we can talk about that, we can make plans, but we can’t let worrying control us, I’m tired of that Jake, it’s done me no good, what’s done me good is living life, going on a trip with you, seeing our friends and family, doing things, so why should we treat this any different?”

Jake slowly nodded, “I know Ames, you’re right, it’s just…this is not how I envisioned any of this, but since when is life anything like I think it will be? Never, except you.”

Amy rolled her eyes, “it’s just because you’re in love with me and my lady parts, but you will feel the same, well not the same, but you will love our baby and think everything it does is wonderful, until it’s a teenager, but you will love it and adore it and be there for it, that’s you, you’re not your dad, not even close. You’re you Jake. You remind of documentary I saw…”

“Ames, c’mon, ruining the moment.”

Amy elbowed him, “shut it and listen. Everything in nature that we think is beautiful, canyons, rock formations, glaciers, they are formed over time, by storms, repeated stress and pressure, and that’s you. You’ve experienced a lot of difficult times, but you wouldn’t be the you I love without them, you wouldn’t be as thoughtful and dedicated to me or being a good cop without those experiences.”

There was a light knock on the door, the doctor peered in, “is okay if I pop back in now?”

Amy smiled, “yes, of course.”

The doctor referred her to the best local OBGYN she knew, set up follow up appointments, and made prescriptions for prenatal vitamins. “Amy, Jake, as a doctor that does the majority of the physicals for policemen returning from work incidents, I have learned one thing, don’t run scared, be smart, but don’t be scared. I’ve seen many good officers leave because they couldn’t shake the fear, things happen, but worrying about them and obsessing about them, well, it makes life worse, more tense. Enjoy the good moments and accept the bad ones.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, this was the plan from the beginning, but it was difficult to write. Please comment if you liked it!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath and discussions of life after the news

The car ride home from the doctor’s office was very quiet, Jake fiddled with the radio to find something that wouldn’t annoy Amy, but he gave up and turned the radio off, then softly banged his head against the dashboard as Amy drove and frowned when she noticed what he was doing.

“Jake, stop, you’ll deploy the airbags.” Amy knew how he felt, part of her was excited, but the excitement they had felt at the end of their doctor’s visit had mostly worn off and they each left with the anticipation of the unknown. “Are YOU really okay with this? You’ve asked me, but are you?”

Jake sat up, “yeah, of course. I mean, am I nervous about the stress? Of course. Am I worried about how the job and stress affect you, not really, you’re pretty kick ass, but am I worried about me not sucking as a father and freaking out? Yes, huge amounts.”

“Jake, chill. We have almost nine months to prepare, mentally and the physical things, cribs and all those details. You’ll be fine.”

They were quiet the rest of the ride home, as they entered the apartment, Jake sat down on the couch, he stared at his movies. Prior to all Amy had gone through, his decisions were easy, the tough part was deciding on which kick-ass cop movie to watch, but now, they all felt too real or too fake.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Still worrying about the baby?”

Jake shook his head, “no, it’s just, well, I can’t decide on a movie.”

Amy rolled her eyes, “that is worrisome.”

Jake looked at her, “I’m serious though, I don’t crave Die Hard like I used to, my Keanu Reeves and my Nic Cage collections don’t do anything for me now, I thought I’d regain my normal movie habits in no time at all, but now, I just don’t know.”

“Really, you’re worried about your movie habits?” Amy sat down next him, eating a yogurt.

“For reals Ames, I mean at first, I just thought it was about you, what you went through, but now…I kinda wonder if I’m losing my edge.”

Amy half laughed, “Jake, you never had an edge, you have a keen mind and great intuition, but hard edge? I don’t know.”

“What if I’m going soft? That can be terrible for a cop, remember Scaredy Cat Terry after the twins were born? That was disastrous and hard to watch.”

Amy leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder, “yeah, I know, but maybe you’re just realizing that some of that stuff isn’t that real, and that the other stuff isn’t that great when it happens to you.”

Jake nodded, “I guess, I mean, I couldn’t handle what they did to you. Who’s my role model now? No more John McClane?”

Amy patted his leg, “there are worse things than growing up a little and realizing that your priorities or tastes have changed. You hardly ever eat cereal with soda anymore, you use fabric softener, you wash your plates with soap, and you don’t fall asleep with a sucker in your mouth anymore. It’s called change, and it’s for the good, it keeps you around longer, for my sake.”

Jake looked at her again and slightly nodded his head, “change, for your sake, I guess that’s okay, as long it’s not because I’m going soft or getting old.”

A smile came across Amy’s face, “well…you are turning forty, in February, so the old thing, quite real.”

“Ames, I would never say that to you.”

“Yeah, because I’m younger than you.” She kissed him and stood up.

“I need to change my clothes and you need to make me a dessert, something fattening, something indulgent, if my body is going to change, I can rationalize and eat a little more from your disturbing side of the food pyramid.”

“Done. I’ll get on that.”

Two hours later, Jake and Amy sat on the couch eating toffee cake, while the rich aromas of the dessert wafted through the apartment. Amy savored her last bite as she considered their situation. “You know, I don’t see much action anymore, as a sergeant, you see some, but not near as much.”

Jake eyed her suspiciously, “and your point, Sergeant?”

Amy licked her fork, “my point, detective, is that you could still be a kick-ass cop, help people, but see less danger, we talked about things we could do to lessen the danger level, yours has been off the charts the past couple of years.”

“Me? A sergeant? I don’t know…”

“Jake, you really are natural leader, you just tend to naturally lead people down the most entertaining path rather than the right one sometimes, but you’d be great.”

“The paperwork? That sounds terrible.”

Amy sat cross-legged and smiled, “actually, you’d have a secretary or assistant to do that, you sign more things than you fill out.”

“The studying and tests? Hmmm, not for me.”

Amy frowned and pointed at him, “listen, if you’re serious about taking less risks but staying on the force, this is the best way, unless you want to work for a security firm.”

Jake made a sour face, “so boring, who wants to do that?”

“The person who is too lazy to become a sergeant.”

“Ames, c’mon, my record is…”

Amy quickly interrupted him, “is full of commendations as well as a few disciplinary things, but your commendations are for big cases, important ones. I think you could do it or I wouldn’t bring it up, and I’d help you every step of the way, you know I think that stuff is fun.”

Jake groaned, “ugh, a baby on the way and I’m already becoming boring.”

Amy stared at him, not amused, “no, a baby on the way and your wife, who is the one who should be freaking out is instead trying to convince her husband to do something that would one, decrease the dangers he faces and two, increase his salary, babies aint cheap Peralta.”

Jake pondered her words, “I suppose, but if word of this gets out to no one, understood?”

Amy smiled and nodded, “yeah, it would be terrible if people learned you were intelligent and ambitious.”

Jake grinned, “exactly.” A thought occurred to him as stroked his chin, “speaking of not telling people, how long do we wait to tell the Nine-Niners and friends? I reckon we can tell the moms and Victor sooner?”

Amy sighed and slumped into the couch, “yeah, we should tell them soon, everyone else can wait, for a while as far as I’m concerned. They’ll make enough fuss when I return to work, I don’t need it being out of control and more annoying. Can you imagine Charles and Terry?”

Jake shuddered, “Charles might actually have an orgasm when he finds out.”

Amy stuck out her tongue in disgust, “gross, did not need that mental image. My parents wanted us to come over today, I told them I might not want to after the doctor’s appointment and all.”

“You want to go today? Are you nuts?”

Amy hugged him, “yes, I must be, but let’s get it done, they’ve actually been a great support through all the stress we’ve faced, and I think they will be great.”

Jake shrugged, “Fine, let’s tell the Santiago’s their little baby is having a baby.”

As they entered the Santiago’s home in New Jersey, Jake felt the sweats starting, all over his body, he knew this was happy news, but he worried they would worry and cause he and Amy to worry even more. Jake had been vocal about this in the car and Amy told him it was the Peralta Worry Cycle, he always did that when big news came down and that he should relax and just be happy, and then everyone else would be as well.

Camila hugged each of them, “go sit with Victor, dinner is almost ready.”

Victor offered them rum, which they both turned down, he sat in his recliner while Jake and Amy sat on the couch, each now feeling nervous about the news they carried. 

“Amy, Jake, I owe you each an apology. Camila made it clear I am not to pressure about you having children. It’s ironic though that I can’t pressure you, but she can pressure me, welcome to marriage Jake.”

Jake tried to laugh and seem natural, but he felt extremely uncomfortable now. Camila entered the room and sat on the arm of Victor’s chair. “Amy, how did the doctor’s appointment go? Are you ready to work again?”

Amy smiled nervously, Jake could tell by her stiff movements that she was about to explode, her hiding big news was never a good thing. “Yeah, going back to work. Doctor, good. It’s all good. Right, Jake?”

Jake nervously nodded, “oh yeah, all good.”

Victor eyed Jake suspiciously, “Jake, Amy, what’s going on? What aren’t you telling us?”

Amy gulped and then closed her eyes, “I’m pregnant! We only found out today, I was pregnant when I was held captive! I’m happy but still freaking out, I’m sorry.” She started to cry, Jake leaned over to console her.

Victor and Camila exchanged looks, “Are you serious?” Victor sounded faint.

Amy nodded and cried some more, “yes, I, your only daughter, am pregnant. I wasn’t sure I wanted a baby, but now that I’m pregnant, I know I want to keep it, I’m scared though.”

Camila moved to the couch and hugged her daughter, “Amy, I know you are scared, you have been through so much, but this baby, you will be a great mother, I know it.”

“Thanks mom,” as Amy said this, her thoughts focused on how they would protect themselves for the sake of their baby, could Jake take less risks, could they actually keep work at work for once in their relationship, but she didn’t feel panic or fear, she and Jake had always faced some dangers, things could be tough no matter what as a police officer, this was true before her ordeal, not just after it.

Jake drove for a change on the way home, Amy had to brace herself a little as he drove more aggressively than she did, Jake’s fingers began drumming intensely and rapidly on the steering wheel, Amy could tell he was nervous about something, she almost laughed out loud, there was a lot they could be nervous about, going back to work, the baby, Amy’s health, the list could go on.

“Babe, you need to relax.” She reached out and rubbed his shoulder closest to her.

Jake frowned slightly, “How are you so calm? I have worried so much about you that I can’t even focus on what to worry about?”

She lovingly caressed the back of his head, “Jake, listen to me, before I knew I was pregnant, I was angry, I was nervous, I was scared, but when I found I was pregnant and we talked about it, I came to the realization that this is no different than anything else we’ve face. Yes, it was worse, but we made it through. Do you remember what the doctor said about the policemen she deals with, the ones that don’t make it. It’s because they focus on the bad things they think are coming, not the positive things in front of them. Shit will happen Jake, it’s us, shit will happen.” Jake groaned, and the beginnings of a smile formed on his face, “we just can’t let those things rule our lives.”

Jake nodded, “good point Mrs. Peralta, good point. So, do you think this fetus will be a boy fetus or a girl fetus?”

Amy smiled, “I haven’t thought of that, I’ve been so focused on wrapping my brain around this and just not freaking out about it, but now, I don’t know. You know a baby with our genes will be adorable.”

“Yeah, totes adorbs, Ames, totes adorbs.”

Amy sighed, “and our baby will speak more maturely than you by the age of four.”

Jake grinned, “that’s being generous, with your brains and influence and lovingly condescending manner towards me, I bet by the time Fetus McFetus is three years old, they’ll pass me, in most intellectual areas.”

Amy poked her finger into his shoulder, “I am just teasing, you’re very smart.”

“Oh yeah, I agree, just not you smart, and I’m okay with that. Again, you are the best person and best cop I know, I said that when I proposed, and I meant it and still believe it.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake return to work.

Amy and Jake

“Jake, where is my badge?” Amy was in full uniform, her hair was up like he loved it, she looked gorgeous, but stressed.

“Ames, I don’t know, you are the responsible one, your check list and all, remember?”

Amy groaned, “yes, I know, but I polished it and thought I put it back on my uniform.”

Jake opened her nightstand drawer, “Ames, it’s where you used to put it, when you were a lowly detective.”

“Thank god, thanks, Jake.” She took it from him and placed it on her uniform, “alright, how are you feeling, ready for the day?”

Jake shrugged, “I guess…I’m actually not nervous about the work part, it’s the baby stuff, keeping it quiet, that will tough, like that meat you tried to cook for my last birthday tough.”

“That’s not nice Jake, it’s the effort that counts.”

“Tell that to my teeth.”

The few days prior to their return date had been spent preparing for the baby and their return, with the focus on what they needed to buy and do, there had been very little worrying and stress. Amy already several check lists made and laminated and she had started the first pages of a binder for the baby preparations.

As Amy left the elevator for her floor, Jake tried to prepare himself for the reception he that greet him from Charles. He had barely had time to step out of the elevator before he was tackled from the left side, “Jake, I missed you!” 

Jake moaned, “thanks, Charles, now I need to go on medical leave.”

“Detective Boyle, kindly remove yourself from Detective Peralta and conduct yourself in the proper manner of a detective for the New York Police Department.”

“Yes sir, sorry Jake.” Charles stood up and Jake took Holt’s hand to help him up.

“Welcome back, detective. How are you feeling today?”

Jake nodded, “good Captain, ready to do whatever you need me to, but I have a feeling knowing you and protocol, that will be desk duty.”

Holt looked impressed, “very good, yes I’m afraid a week of desk duty will be necessary, then I will sign off on you returning to the field.”

“No probs,” As Jake said that he thought back to after Amy was rescued and she had leashed out at him for that mistake. He felt so relieved that they had made so much progress in the weeks that followed.

“You seem in good spirits, Peralta, how is Sergeant Peralta?”

“She is good sir, ready to work and ready to make her officers toe the line.”

Holt paused, “is she ready for the stress it entails? I worry about her after all she has been through.”

Jake smiled at his almost sentimental robot captain, “it was tough captain, not gonna lie, I was super worried, but we’ve gotten through and life is good.”

Holt nodded, “I am impressed, Peralta, you seem very mature about this, not flippant and emotionally honest.”

Jake stopped and looked at the captain again, “yeah, old me couldn’t have handled this, but with all we’ve been through since we’ve been us, ya know, me and Amy, I know if I don’t talk about the feelings and emotional stuff that we’ll be in big trouble.”

“It is called love Peralta, you change and adapt for those you love to help them.”

Desk duty was uneventful, Scully somehow started a small fire in the bathroom and Hitchcock fell asleep in the evidence locker, but things were slow, and Jake was okay with that for his first day back. Charles and Rosa were investigating a series of burglaries at several local businesses, all small businesses with fairly low-tech security. By the time lunch rolled around, Jake was ready to see Amy but wondered how busy she would be after being gone for so long.

Amy was signing several papers and filing them, and the pile seemed huge to Jake as he watched her, “Sarge, that does not look fun.”

Amy smiled, “come in detective, I don’t mind, and you would find that this is no worse than regular desk duty which you currently have. I could teach you all about these forms and prepare you for a possible career path change.”

Jake pursed his lips together, “hmmm, seems to me I evaded this conversation several times last week.”

“Yeah, now you’re cornered and can’t escape, by bringing up our future,” Amy winked, insinuating at her pregnancy, “or just start fondling me to distract me.”

“Hey, those worked, especially the future talk.” Jake made air quotes as he said future. “The fondling was genuine and didn’t seem to bother you…”

“No, of course not, but my point is that I want to talk about this, I truly think you would be a great sergeant.”

“Ames, I’m not the sergeant type, I’m a detective.”

“All I’m asking right now is that you keep an open mind, in your mind you’re the bad boy detective from your movies you love,” her demeanor went slightly more serious, “but you and I both know based on what we have experienced that those are pure fiction or bygone elements of the old NYPD.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it, but I make no promises.” Amy kissed him on the cheek, which was a good sign as she rarely did even that at the precinct. “Right now, though, lunch? Not street meat, I’m not ready for that.”

Amy offered a small smile, “I know, but I’m not letting those bastards ruin my favorite lunch, we’re just not going back yet.”

“Pizza? It’s quick and we can to your favorite place.”

“Deal.”

As they returned from lunch, Terry was waiting at the front of the building, “Jake, glad you’re back, we have to take you off of desk duty, I need someone to come with me. We’ve had two more burglaries, by the same crew or crews today, Diaz and Boyle are on one, we’ll cover the other one.”

“Okay, let’s do this.” Jake said goodbye Amy and ran to the car with Terry. 

Jake

Terry drove them to the latest store hit by the thieves, “This is a nice little store, shame they hit it. Fulmer’s Formal Wear, I buy ties and suspenders here.”

Jake and Terry surveyed the building, looked at the security footage and the burglars were impossible to see clearly, they moved quickly and seemed to know where all the cameras were, on the street as well as in the shop.

“Terry were the other burglaries similar to this?”

“Yeah, exactly like them. They know the where the cameras are, inside and outside, their cars seem to never be captured on tape, anywhere. We looked into ex-employees, security firms, even current and ex-cops, but we haven’t found a good suspect with motive and means yet.”

Jake texted Amy the particulars of the case, he loved bouncing ideas off of her and she loved a good puzzle, one of many things that Jake truly loved about his relationship was the way they could work together, the competitiveness of before was mostly gone and now they just worked well and loved to see the other succeed, especially on tricky cases.

The owners of the store were interviewed and Jake as thinking about what he wanted to make for dinner when his phone buzzed, he picked it up and it was a text from Amy.

Ames: Did you consider security salesmen, they ask what systems they have, look at what they have and could get a lot of information, easily. Just a thought.

Jake: Genius, thanks!

Terry called Rosa and within the hour, all of the businesses that had been robbed reported that they had been solicited by a security firm, they even had the business card, Sekuretech, the four detectives met at the address on the business cards and set up surveillance from a distance.

A small sedan with no plates honked its horn and was let into the secure garage. Jake and Terry left Rosa and Charles to enter through the main door. As they entered, there was no waiting area, just a room with a phone and a few chairs, both detectives drew their weapons, Jake texted Rosa and Charles to quickly and quietly cover the garage exit, as they entered a door to the garage, Jake heard shouting, on the floor were several bags of money, a few suspect tried to grab some money and run, but Rosa and Charles entered, their weapons drawn, Rosa barked some orders and the suspects all got on their knees with their hands on their heads.

Jake and Terry were making sure the area was secure when two shots were fired, narrowly missing Jake, Charles immediately fired his weapon and Jake saw a man drop to the ground from a shelf where he had been hiding.

“Damn, Peralta! That was close.” Terry shook his head as he looked at the bullet holes behind where Jake had been standing.

“Thanks, Terry, way to calm me down.”

Terry frowned, “sorry, Jake, but you look okay, you don’t look freaked out.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m better at hiding stuff with everything I’ve been through.”

Terry placed a big hand on Jake’s shoulder, “don’t hide this from Amy, tell her sooner than later. I’ve been there, after Sharon was done with me I wish the bullets had hit me.”

Jake nodded, “yeah, just not yet, tonight, at our place. We’ve been through too much, I don’t want her worrying while she’s working.”

Amy and Jake

“Jake, why are you so quiet tonight? We worked together, and you guys brought in the group responsible for seventeen armed robberies.”

Jake shook his head, “sorry Ames, there’s something I didn’t tell you.” Jake set down his fork, he had made corned beef and cabbage for dinner, the one dish his dad taught him to make. He had tried his best to not act like something had happened, but the more he thought about it, the more it ate at him.

Amy eyed him suspiciously and set her glass down, “what is it Jake?”

Jake tried to smile, “well, we got the suspects, just I told you, but a shot was fired, at me, Charles brought the suspect down, I made the others promise not to tell you, that was stupid, sorry.”

“Why would you keep this from me? Did you think I was too delicate or weak to handle it?”

Jake shook his head and averted her gaze, “no, I thought that it might be a lot with what you went through, I just wanted you find out away from others.”

“Jake, you can’t treat me like I’m going to fall apart, it’s a part of our job, I know those things happen, but I will be furious with you if you don’t tell me things or hide them from me.”

Jake shifted uncomfortably in his chair, “like this?”

Amy nodded, “yes, like this. Look, we’re cops, this will happen. Did you do anything you shouldn’t have, or anything overly risky?”

Jake shook his head, “no, not at all. I was careful, Terry and I were making sure the room was secure and that we had everyone, a shot went by me, not super close, but close enough.”

“Jake, you have to trust me and trust that I’m not so fragile or crazy that I’ll fall apart anytime something happens.”

Jake pushed himself away from the table a little, “Ames, it’s not that, it’s not that at all, it’s just…”

“Jake, what?”

Jake exhaled slowly and deliberately, “look, between you being kidnapped and then the day that you left for your parents and left me the note, it scared the shit out of me. It showed me how much I have to lose, and I didn’t want to freak you out like that, this is on me, not what I think of you.”

Amy pursed her lips for a few seconds as she considered what he just said, “Maybe, but this involves me, I have a right to know and the right to decide if I freak out or not.”

Jake nodded slowly, “I know, I know, I’m sorry, this is all new to me Ames. Before the kidnapping, things were easier, for me, I knew there were risks, but it never felt so real. Then you get kidnapped, I think you might leave me and then nothing made sense, and then we find out you’re pregnant and I just keep thinking about how fragile everything is, how one little thing could fuck it up forever.”

Amy stood up and walked over to him, she sat on his lap as she wrapped her arms around him, “I’m still not happy, don’t leave me out of things, but we are in a new phase of our lives. Things will be scary, there are risks and consequences.”

Jake pulled her tighter, “that doesn’t bother you?”

Amy offered a slight smile, “yes, of course it does. Do you really think I want you to be shot at? Of course not, Jake, but it happens, it will happen. The important thing is that you’re safe. Maybe now you can understand why I would like you consider becoming a sergeant.”

“Yeah, I get it, I do. It’s all a lot to take in, ya’ know?”

Amy nodded, “of course I do, but the important thing is that we’re in this together. Are you okay after everything today?”

Jakes rested his head against her, “I think so, maybe I was putting on you what I would have felt, what I was feeling. Everything we’ve done and gone through, it was always dangerous, the bad stuff sucked, but now, now we’re married, no we have a kid on the way, it’s crazy, one idiot hiding on a shelf and the lil’ fetus has no dad.”

“Jake, we will be okay, I promise, we have come out of everything fine, we have close calls, but we are still here, all of our limbs. We may be a little worse for wear, or more so sometimes, but we will make it.”

Jake

The next day at work, Amy had to go with Holt and Terry to One Police Plaza for meetings, Jake and Charles were looking into a murder at a local liquor store. Charles was dusting for prints on the victim’s body. “Jakey, how did Amy take the news they shot at you? Genevieve would have had crazy sex with me, she finds the danger to be a powerful aphrodisiac.”

Jake made a face, “Charles, disgusting, c’mon man! Of course, Amy did not find it sexy, she worries, I worry, it’s what normal people do. How am I going to keep going if I just worry all the time?

Jake looked for signs of a struggle around the store, Charles stood up, “Look Jake, you know me, I worry a lot, about everything, but I get through it because I trust everyone around me and I know others have my back.”

“Charles, you got shot, that sucked, but I’ve been in prison, I’ve been followed several states away by gangsters and Amy was kidnapped, that’s different, it’s worse.”

Charles picked up the bags of evidence they had, “Jake, I don’t know what else to tell you, I know stuff has happened, but you are also the best, Jake, the best. No one does what you do.”

Jake opened the door for Charles, “maybe that’s the problem Charles, I do too much or am too crazy. Maybe it’s time to reign myself in.”

Charles grabbed his shoulder, “Jake, no, please no. You can’t do that to the world.”

Jake turned around, “Charles, I’m still me, just learning, and worried about my family, you get that Charles. I can’t let Amy down and do something stupid that would leave her to…” Jake caught himself, “to have to deal with life on her own. We’re a family, a team.”

Charles hugged Jake, aggressively, Jake thought. “Jake, that was beautiful.”

Amy

The car ride from One Police Plaza had been quiet, Terry was engrossed in a book he had just bought, Holt was listening to classical music as he drove while Amy stared ahead, deep in thought. She would have probably averted her stare from straight forward if she had noticed Holt glancing at her in the rearview mirror, “Sergeant Peralta, is everything alright with you? You seem a bit distracted, I hope your return has been a good one.”

Amy tried to smile, “of course sir. There’s just a lot to think about lately.”

Terry turned around, “is this about Jake and what happened yesterday.”

Amy felt herself turning red, “yes and no, I worry of course, but I think he’s worrying more, and that’s not like him. I of course want him to mature, but not worry needlessly and not hide things from me because he’s afraid I’ll react like he would.”

Holt nodded as he drove, “that’s understandable, you have both been through great ordeals and that would no doubt have consequences, it would have to.”

“I know sir, it’s just that Jake is starting to worry too much, and he is concentrating too much on what could be lost…sorry, rambling.”

“Sergeant, it is logical he would worry about losing you, you were kidnapped, and he has been through so much as well. What else is he afraid of losing?”

Amy was silent, Terry looked back at her again, “you know, it reminds me of when, well when the twins were born, but…no, sorry, I’ll be quiet.” Terry returned to his book.

Holt looked at Terry and then glanced several times at Amy through the rearview mirror, “Sergeant, are you pregnant?”

Amy’s mouth went dry, she felt like the car might be spinning, though she knew it wasn’t. “Sir…what makes you…that’s ridiculous…should I be offended?”

“Not if you’re pregnant.”

Amy hung her head, “YES! Fine, I’m pregnant!”

Terry turned around again, his eyes wide and a look of fear on his face.”

“Sergeant Peralta are you alright?”

Amy nodded, “yes sir, sorry, I am. It has given me focus and helped me to embrace life rather than hide, but Jake is different, his childhood was a bit of a mess and he never thinks of himself as fatherly, but now he worries about not being around for the baby for different reasons.”

Terry wiped away some tears, “I get it, I do, I’ve been there. The most important thing is that he knows everyone has his back and is there for him, professionally and personally. When I realized that, things improved, a lot.”

Amy took a deep breath, “look, this was shocking news, I was pregnant while I was held captive, but didn’t know it.” She noticed Terry and Holt exchange glances, “we, Jake and I, we are happy, this is good news, I was thinking I didn’t want a family and then I realized I couldn’t let the bastards who tortured me rob me of my life as well.”

“Sergeant Peralta, that is a healthy way to look at it. Are you sure you are fine with things?”

Amy smiled, “I really am, but I worry, about Jake, a lot, and some for myself.” Her eyes went wide, “but you two cannot say anything, to anyone! Imagine if Charles found out! Terrance, I will tell Sharon about every dangerous thing you have done that she doesn’t know about if you let it out to anyone!”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone else finds out about the future baby Peralta.

Amy

A month and half had passed by since Jake had been shot at, and Amy was relieved to find that life had fallen into comfortable routines, or as close to comfortable routines as she could have with Jake as her life partner. Three weeks ago, he had made a big push to name the baby after action stars, but Amy fought and refused to name their baby Keanu, Bruce, Sigourney or Milla. Two weeks ago, he pushed for Hispanic movie star names but was shot down by all of Amy’s family for Antonio, Banderas, Gael, Jennifer or Penelope.

There were still some talks about the dangers they faced, particularly Jake as he continued to fight against becoming a sergeant. Amy argued that he was selling himself short and that he could help a lot of detectives to become better, but he kept resisting and insisting he didn’t have it in him to do it or pass the tests. This had led to one small fight, but in the end, Amy realized that so much had changed, their dangerous encounters and then finding out there was a baby on the way, so she put it on the back burner, for now.

September was a week and half away and the baby was due in January. Amy was showing much more than she wanted to, but no one from the Nine-Nine had said anything about her being pregnant. She had tried asking Jake about it, but he fought her and told her he was staying quiet and not even jinxing talking about it until she told someone other than Holt and Terry. Her curiosity finally got the best of her and on a particularly hot August day, she was wearing he full dress coat with her uniform, most people would have passed out from the heat, but Amy, who was notoriously always cold was only a little uncomfortable.

She knew Jake was on a case with Rosa as he had texted her, so she took the opportunity to talk to Holt without interruption. As she entered his office and knocked on the inside wall, Holt turned around from looking at his calendar, “Sergeant Peralta,” he gestured towards a chair, “please come in and have a seat.”

“Thank you, sir.” Amy sat down and wondered how to bring this up carefully and not overly accusatory towards her captain.

Holt sat down pressed his fingers together, “what can I do for you sergeant?”

Amy took a deep breath, “Captain, why haven’t people made comments about my pregnancy, I’m definitely showing now, but my officers nor anyone from the Nine-Nine haven’t noticed. No one has said a word, and that’s crazy because I am showing, enough to warrant questions, I think.”

Holt evaded her gaze, “Um…yes…well, Sergeant Jeffords and myself wanted to take any stress away from you about the baby…so…”

Amy could feel this was not good, “Sir, you just made a grammatical error which means your nervous, what did you and Terry tell everyone?”

Holt looked right at her again, he gulped, this was going to be bad, “we felt that an approach of them not saying anything without piquing their interest was the best play here…we may have told them that you were gaining weight from stress and at no point should they ever say anything. I told the detective squad and Terry told your officers.”

Amy felt her anger building up, she had never felt this way at Holt before. “Sir, you what?! They think I’m fat from stress?! Is that better, at all?” The last question came out with a coldness that made Captain Holt nervous as Amy stared him down.

Holt’s eyes widened, Amy was fairly certain this was most nervous she had seen captain Holt. “I am sorry…we thought it would help…it was wrong…Sergeant, there was a better way to deal with that and I apologize for our insensitivity and harm we may have caused.”

Amy softened as she saw her mentor and captain squirming in his seat, a sight she never thought she’d see, “Sir, you’re fine. It would have been nice to know that this is why, but it’s okay, not great, but okay. It explains why some of my officers have started healthy eating groups and posting healthy snack ideas on the boards.”

Holt smirked, “really?”

Amy nodded and smiled, much more warmly now, “yes, I have a good group of officers sir, who do care about everyone. I suppose it’s time to tell everyone, though Jake has to tell this group, it will be worse, much worse than my group of officers.”

“I concur, Boyle might actually cause bodily harm to Jake, I’ll have to think of a good way for him to tell the squad.”

Jake

Jake and Rosa entered the Nine-Nine and before he made it his desk, he was summoned to Holt’s office. Jake had been playing by the book and not taking any risks, so he was baffled as to why he was being called in, having been called in many times before for behavioral and procedural issues.

“Sit down, Peralta, we have something of a personal nature to discuss.”

Jake didn’t know what to say, “are you and Kevin having problems sir?”

Holt motioned no with his hands, “no, not at all. I meant about you and Amy, and her pregnancy.”

Jake smiled, “wow, that makes much more sense. I wouldn’t know where to begin giving others advice.”

Holt considered him for a few seconds, “I disagree, you have handled your issues with a grace and perseverance that I doubt many others could have done, but that is not what I want to talk to you about. I made a grave error and told the detectives and had Terry tell the uniformed officers that Amy was experiencing weight gain due to stress, so they would not guess she was pregnant. It was ill-advised and amateurish at best, but she and I spoke today and we both believe it is time for you each to tell your squads.”

Jake had to consciously think about breathing, “today? Oh man, this will be tough.”

Holt stood up and locked his door, he picked up his phone, “I will enter the numbers, so you can use the loudspeaker, tell them, and you don’t have to leave until Boyle has clearly demonstrated he will not hurt or touch you.”

Jake closed his eyes and tried to relax, “okay, I can do this.” Holt dialed the numbers and Jake took phone in his hand, he felt shaky, but he knew it was time, her heard the beep of the loudspeaker, “hey everyone…Jake here…so…how to say this…Amy is pregnant, she and I are expecting our baby in late January. It was not stress weight as the Captain and Sarge told you, but please be calm.” As Jake spoke he could hear a commotion out in the bullpen, he saw Charles gyrating and screaming, Rosa finally had enough and pinned him down using her baton.

“Congratulations to you and Amy, Jake!” Rosa yelled almost with a hint of emotion.

“Thanks, Rosa. Scully, Hitchcock, anything to say?”

Scully and Hitchcock looked at each other confused, they hadn’t paid attention, Charles looked like he might pass out, but Jake wasn’t leaving Holt’s office until he was one hundred percent sure he had calmed all the way down.

Amy and Jake

The walk home was a pleasant one, Amy felt relieved everyone knew now, Jake still had a bruised rib from when Charles had pretended to be calm, but then tackled him later as Jake was talking to Terry. “How did you not lose it when Holt told you everyone thought you were just gaining weight?”

Amy smiled, “I was mad, but then I noticed how uncomfortable he was, he felt bad and he was nervous of my reaction, that was new for dealing with him. I’m glad nobody said anything because they didn’t know until today. It’s been our thing, we have to share it now, but we can block Charles in all social media and on the phones, so it won’t be too different.”

Jake squeezed her hand, “I’m glad they know, it was stressful talking about life, knowing the baby was coming, but having to keep it out of all conversations at work.”

“I know, I almost said something a few times, but we made it, like we always do.”

After dinner, Jake finished the dishes and sat next to Amy on the couch, Amy had gone through several phases of wanting to be touched, or not wanting to be touched, Jake just let her dictate things, it was less scary that way, as soon as he was seated, she cuddled up to him, this was normal. She soon reached up and caressed his check, then started kissing him softly along his jawline and up to his ear, her hands then moved to his waist and then his waistband.

“Ames, are you sure? You were on your feet all day and working hard.”

Amy pulled back and frowned at him, “I make the moves and you say no?”

“Ames, it’s not that, I just worry about you. I couldn’t do what you’re doing.”

Amy smiled slightly, “no you couldn’t, but this is what I want, unless you’re grossed out by my emerging belly?”

Jake shook his head no vigorously, “no way in hell, it’s you, I find it hella sexy, honest. I just don’t want to be my dad.”

Amy sighed, “don’t fuck other women and you won’t be your dad.”

Jake grinned, “damn Mrs. Peralta, that was salty and sexy.”

Amy pulled off her t-shirt while Jake did the same, she then leaned forward and started undoing Jake’s jeans and yanked down his jeans and boxers, Jake reached forward and pulled down Amy’s leggings and underwear, he noticed Amy turning slightly red. 

“Ames, what’s wrong?”

“My belly…it’s so big, and it’s going to get bigger.”

“Ames, relax, you are beautiful. The fact that you are pregnant, with our baby, makes you even more so.”

Amy pulled him to her and kissed him, her passion and gratitude expressed through the kiss, both of their hands now exploring the familiar terrain of their partner’s bodies. Amy’s hands pulled his hips to hers, his kisses began trailing down to her breasts. Jake’s tongue circled around her nipple as his hand gently stimulated her clit. She moaned as Jake increased the speed and pressure with his hands.

Amy’s hands pushed Jake’s head down, but he stopped at her stomach and kissed it tenderly before reaching her intended target for him, his tongue began lavishing attention at her center. Jake felt her fingers tighten in his hair as she pushed hips harder into his face. Amy screamed his name, as Jake pulled away she tugged him upward, their lips meeting again, Amy led him into the bedroom amidst their kisses. As they reached the bed, she gently pushed him to bed, he scooted back as she climbed on the bed, she crawled over him, their eyes met again, Amy reached behind her and guided Jake inside her. 

As Jake felt her move up and down him, he knew they had done this many times before, yet he knew he would remember this time, her emerging pregnant belly glistening with sweat, her breasts bouncing gently in front of him. Jake reached up and softly pressed his hands against her stomach, relishing in the contact as his hands slid up and down on her. Amy noticed his grin, she leaned forward and his pressed her lips to his.

Jake heard Amy start to release through her gentle moans, he looked up again and as he saw her stomach again, he felt himself begin to let go, he brought her closer to him again, her breasts now pressed up against his chest, he became lost in the moment and when he met her eyes, she was grinning.

“Babe are you okay?”

“Yeah, I was just sort of distracted by how beautiful you are.”

Amy hit him softly as she lay down next to him. “Shut up, Jake.”

Jake turned to her, “Ames, I’m not kidding. Seriously, you have always been gorgeous, you always will be, but your stomach, I love it, it’s our future, it’s us, our baby.”

Amy laughed, “it’s just so crazy. After I was taken I was so sure I didn’t want a baby, at all, then I found out I was pregnant and seemed to just make sense. It’s just weird.”

“I don’t know, it’s like at work, the better the case, the less you worry about the little things, the dangers, the ugliness, I think you being pregnant did that for us, it gave us something else to focus on.”

Amy reached out and stroked his cheek gently, “you are actually getting smarter, like crazy smart, it’s amazing.”

Jake grinned at her as he rolled his eyes, “it’s not that amazing that I’m learning and trying to take care of us.”

“I’m just comparing current you to the Jake Peralta I met when I joined the Nine-Nine.”

“Yeah, old Jake is gone, buried by life and stress.”

Amy poked him, “new Jake is way better, I liked old Jake, but new Jake knows how to discuss feelings, new Jake is concerned with my wellbeing, not pranking me all the time and new Jake doesn’t risk his life near as much.”

“True dat, okay, I’m on board, yay for new Jake. I just hope I’m not too cautious, that’s almost worse than reckless.”

“True, but I’ve watched and listened to you, you do your job well, I mean, you’ve even improved your paperwork, Holt sends me pictures of it from time to time with a thank you.”

“Yeah, after years of being hounded for my mistakes and tardiness, it turns out having a hot wife who is turned on by efficient and correct paperwork was the best motivator.”

“Score on for Amy.” She kissed him softly, then smiled as she noticed him taking her in again, the way he just absorbed her, almost worshipped her, flaws and all. The kidnapping had almost ruined what they had, but the new them that had risen from the ashes had somehow become even better, more supportive. Amy fell asleep that night with a smile on her face as she reflected on how they had evolved as a couple, from arguing and teasing to competitive, to in love and hot and heavy, but now to this, and she liked this, she loved this, she needed this.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake face another challenge.

Amy

It had been a hectic Friday so far, she looked forward to the weekend, she and Jake had plans to go away to the bed and breakfast in Vermont, the very one where she had broken up with Teddy and Jake discovered she had feelings for him. They were both looking forward to getting out of the city and just relaxing, together.

Amy looked at her email and cringed, it was the fourth complaint about one of her officers in two weeks. Officer Trevor Stahl, he was a good officer, but he was shot at twice in past three months and he had started to be more aggressive towards suspects and overly cautious in situations of potential danger, alarming his partners and earning him complaints from other officers and the public.

Amy called in Officer Lou, who was her second in command, “Lou, where are Stahl and Villegas at right now?”

“They were covering Prospect Park South, between Rugby and Stratford, but they just got called to help out Jake and Rosa.”

Amy frowned, “man, I hope Stahl doesn’t screw up around Rosa, she’ll eat him alive. As soon as they are done assisting them, radio them to come back, another complaint about him came in.”

Officer Lou shook his head, “that’s four official complaints, but the other officers can’t stand him right now, they worry he’ll get them in trouble, they had enough of that in May.”

“I know, things were running smoothly. I don’t know what he needs, I can give him desk duty, but I feel like he needs to regain his confidence.”

“Yeah, I agree, I’ll get them in as soon as they’re done with Jake and Rosa. What was the latest complaint?”

“He screamed at thirteen-year old girl he thought was a suspect in a series of shopliftings. Her dad, as it turns out, is a member of the schoolboard, and was there with her trying to talk sense to Stahl, but sadly, it didn’t work. I wish he would have reported this when it happened, I don’t know if he should be out there right now before we talk to him. I think I’ll have him work with you, so you can report to me and we can evaluate what he needs.”

“No problem, I like Trevor, he was one of the most reliable officers we had until that crazy lady who was tripping some seriously strong stuff shot at him and Simmons. It was random and not really close, but Simmons said he just sort of freaked out and he hasn’t been the same since then.”

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t piss off Rosa and he comes back in one piece.”

Jake

“Seriously, Jake, what is Stahl’s deal? I’m about to bloody my night stick on his skull.”

“Rosa, chill! The last thing we need right now is two officers fighting. He and Villegas are covering the back exit.”

“Villegas is cool, he knows my sisters, but Stahl, he used to be cool.”

“Rosa, I can’t believe I’m the one saying this, but can we concentrate on the murderous suspect inside?”

Jake and Rosa were investigating a murder in East Flatbush, the suspect in the case was the cousin of the victim, Jaden Fisher. The suspect, Isaiah Fisher was a bike messenger and had pulled out a gun and ran into a bookstore on the corner of Glendale and Albany. Jake and Rosa called for back up and Villegas called in, he and Stahl were a mile away. They arrived in three minutes and before Rosa could tell them where to go, Stahl had started arguing with the employees of the bookstore, and then with Rosa when she told him to shut up.

“Officer,” Jake turned around and saw the manager of the bookstore, “there is a window he could easily climb out in the back, but it is mostly covered by the dumpster, it’s hard to see on the outside, but easily seen and opened from the inside.”

Jake thanked her and radioed Villegas. “Villegas, behind the dumpster is a window, easy enough for him to get out of, have Stahl cover that.”

“Copy that.”

Within a few minutes, Jake and Rosa heard arguing from behind the bookstore, Rosa looked as angry as Jake had ever seen her, which was never a good thing, “Rosa, you stay here, I’ll go see what the problem is.” Rosa was about to argue but Jake took off before she could.

As Jake entered the ally, he saw the dumpster, partially pushed away, Jake hoped the officers had done that and not their suspect. Stahl was not there, he was at least two hundred feet away, arguing with Villegas by the rear exit.

“Villegas, Stahl, what the hell is going on? Did you move the dumpster?”

Villegas turned suddenly, “no, Stahl wouldn’t cover it, then when I went to cover it, he yelled at me and told me I needed to cover him.”

Jake immediately got on the radio, “Rosa, the suspect might be out, did you see anyone come from the ally?”

“Negative, my vantage point lets me see both, no one came out. If he’s out of the building, he’s in the ally? How did he get out?”

Jake swore under his breath, “I’ll tell you later, right now there is a murderer on the loose, in an ally, not the recipe for a good time. Cover the ally and the entrance in case I’m wrong.”

“Copy. Be careful.”

“Not necessary, danger is not as intoxicating as it once was.”

Jake, with his weapon drawn, proceeded carefully to the dumpster, the window had definitely been open, and his gut told him the bookstore employees would not have done that. He spoke in a loud whisper, “Villegas, Stahl, cover the perimeter of the ally, look everywhere. Jake was scanning his surroundings, there were a few trucks parked in the ally, an old forklift, some more dumpsters, and various recycling bins. Jake reached the first truck, he quickly and quietly pulled himself up to look in the cab, nothing, as he lowered himself down, he heard another truck start its engine.

“The other truck, he’s not in this one, cover that truck, do not let him get away.” As Jake turned to see where the truck was, he saw the truck as it roared forward, hitting another truck with a loud crunch, but it was still moving and picking up some speed, Villegas was behind the truck, with no shot on the driver, Stahl was right there, out of danger’s way, but he had the shot. “Stahl, take the shot, take the shot!”

Stahl froze, he then fumbled with his holster and weapon, Jake then realized the truck was headed for him, he ran towards the dumpster, the suspect was aiming the truck for him and was crouching low enough that Jake didn’t have a good shot, or any shot. He calculated his options, he then jumped as best he could on the dumpster and crouched inside, expecting the worst. He gagged when he saw some rotten food, which was when he heard and felt it, then darkness.

Amy

As she signed the last form on her desk, she looked at the clock, she hoped Jake would return soon so she could deal with Stahl and then they could head for Vermont. Lou popped his head in the door, “Sergeant, we have a problem. Come out, quick.”

Amy stood up and moved as fast as she could, three other officers were gathered around a radio, “This is Villegas, we have an officer down, but trapped. We need the jaws of life, the suspect crunched him up pretty badly in a dumpster and Stahl took off.”

Amy reached through the officers and picked up the radio, “Officer Villegas, this is Sergeant Peralta. Come again on Stahl.”

“Sir, he froze, he ignored orders to cover an exit, the suspect got out, then he froze and didn’t take a shot, it’s your husband sir, he’s in the dumpster.”

Amy felt faint, but she quickly blinked and regained her strength when the radio crackled, “two fire trucks and an ambulance are a minute away, jaws of life aboard.”

“Villegas, what happened to the suspect?”

“I was able to apprehend him as he tried to back up, I entered through the passenger door and kicked him, he’s conscious now.”

“Sergeant Peralta,” Amy turned to see Captain Holt, “come with me, they told me that as soon as he is out of the dumpster, they will take him Kings County Hospital.”

The ride was silent other than the radio conversation. Jake was out, he was badly injured, he was breathing but in bad shape. Stahl was found and brought in. Holt instructed Terry to fire him on the spot. As they reached the hospital, she saw him, on a gurney. Blood covered much of his clothing, an oxygen mask was on his face, his body was bent unnaturally, somehow. She felt the tears coming, she hated it, but she felt them, nonetheless. As Jake vanished from her sight, she and Holt entered the hospital and waited. 

As she sat, memories of the night before entered her already tortured mind, Jake’s pure love and admiration for her pregnant body, the tenderness of the moment, the way he had held her after. They had started discussing important things for their future, getting a new place with more than two bedrooms, increasing insurance, setting up a will, and had even managed a serious conversation on names just a few days ago. Jake still suggested some terrible ones but was warming up to her first choice for a boy, William. Amy had argued three of her favorites were Williams, Shakespeare, Faulkner, and Short, the crossword genius. Jake liked the sound of Will Peralta. For a girl, Jake had continued to push the name Eve, which she liked, their first child, Eve, but she knew and told him she knew that was the name of Nic Cage’s wife in Face/Off, but she was considering it.

Her memories were interrupted by the doctor, she wondered how long she had been lost in thought, she glanced at her watch, they had been sitting for well over an hour. The doctor approached them and introduced herself, “Captain and Sergeant, I’m Dr. Lovell, head surgeon here. Jake suffered some severe injuries, the internal injuries were our biggest concern, he is still in surgery, but we have the internal bleeding stopped. We had to remove half a kidney, and we are now in the process of setting his broken bones. He broke seven ribs and his left arm is broken in four different spots, but he was fortunate he wasn’t hurt much worse based on the bruising and cuts we saw.”

Amy sobbed lightly, “thank you doctor.” She closed her eyes, “is he really going to be okay?”

The doctor nodded, “yes, he will survive, he will need time to heal, he will have to stay several days in the hospital as we monitor his kidney, but he is fortunate to be alive.”

Amy remembered little of the conversation with Holt, she knew Stahl was fired and that Holt was considering other actions against him. Jake’s mom was in Los Angeles visiting family and her parents were on their way.

She turned around after the doctor left and leaned against a wall, as tears started to fall down her cheeks she slammed the wall with both hands, balled up in fists. “Sergeant are you alright?”

Amy moved to face him, “no Captain, this is my fault, I should have had Stahl on desk duty or see the psychologist.”

Holt lead her back to their seats and sat her down gently then sat next to her, “Sergeant Peralta, you must not blame yourself. You learned today that we cannot always give the benefit of the doubt to our officers, it is sad when we cannot, but it is also difficult to learn because we depend on each other and it is not easy for anyone in the force, facing what we face on a daily basis. What Stahl did was worse that anyone thought possible, even the department psychologist thought that working cases and being with his partners would help him through this, this is no one’s fault, it is the unfortunate bi-product of our chosen profession, that some officers lose their edge and their nerve. I feel badly that things ended like this for Jake, but also for Stahl, he was a good officer at one time.”

Amy wiped away her tears, “I know, I do, but if I had just realized that three complaints would snowball into more…”

Holt cut her off, “none of us can foresee the future, the best we can do is predict possible outcomes and you are doing exactly what I need from you, you hold your officers to high standards and support them and believe in them, this means a lot to them and makes you one of the finest sergeants in the NYPD.”

Amy’s parents arrived a short time later, her mom and dad both buoyed her up and reminded her what a fighter Jake was, though Victor did threaten to find and take care of Stahl for letting this happen to Jake. Amy couldn’t help but smile.

“Dad, you like Jake, like love Jake?” 

Victor almost looked surprised, “yeah, I suppose I do. You know how I felt about him at first, but the thing about Jake is, he never gives up. He never gave up in jail when most men would have for being wrongly imprisoned, he never gave up on you when he had feelings for you, and I truly believe he would rather die than give up on you and I think the same will carry over to my grandchild.”

Amy hugged him, “This one’s hard because I finally know how Jake feels, this feels like my fault.”

Camila squeezed her daughter’s hand, “that is nonsense Amy.”

Victor nodded, “your mother is right, complete nonsense. Amy, officers deserve chances to prove themselves, especially the ones who suffer because of the job, this was a terrible thing that happened, but this is no one’s fault but Stahl and the jackass who drove the truck.”

It was nearly nine o’clock at night before Jake was moved to his room, still asleep, looking more fragile than Amy had ever seen him, and she had seen him shot, wounded in other ways, even prison Jake, but asleep with the brace on arm and hooked up to so many machines, this was different, in the worst possible way. 

She had told her parents that she wanted to be alone in the room when he woke up, so they patiently waited in the waiting room, she didn’t have anything to read and her phone was nearly dead, as she texted her dad to see if he would go to their apartment to fetch a few things, she hear a rustling sound, she turned to Jake slowly moving on the bed, his eyes blinking a few times, his injured arm trying to lift and then touching his head with good arm.

Amy scooted her chair closer, “Babe, hey, it’s me. Welcome back.”

Jake continued to look confused as he looked around the room, he blinked some more, followed a groan, “holy shit, Ames, what the hell happened. I feel like I got hit by a truck.”

Amy put her hands to her mouth and both laughed and cried, “babe, do you remember anything?”

Jake shook his head no as best he could, “no, not really, I think I remember, I…I was with Rosa, and looking for someone…”

Amy gently and carefully touched his face, “yeah, you were, then an officer failed you and you hid in a dumpster to avoid being mowed down by a truck, so instead he used the truck and crunched the dumpster you were in and they had to use the jaws of life to pry the dumpster open and pull you out.”

His eye’s widened, “seriously, I was actually hit by a truck? Wow! I mean, wow! Even for me and my luck, wow!”

Amy’s tears flowed freely again, Jake was still struggling adjusting to the light when he noticed, “what’s wrong, I’m good, right, I’m not dying? Oh god, I am…”

“No, you’re fine. I mean, you have a bunch of broken ribs, you lost half a kidney and your arm is broken in four places, it’s just, it’s my fault?”

Jake rolled his eyes as best he could for how he felt, “Ames, please, were you driving the truck?”

“No, of course not, but Stahl, the officer who froze, I should have known, there have been complaints.”

“Look, Ames, my head is throbbing, my side kills me, and don’t get me started on my arm, but before I go goo goo because of pain meds, everyone respects you, most love you, but they all respect you. You believe in them, yet you don’t go easy on them, which is for their sake, I’ve heard it from several of them, I was just saving it for a day when you needed it.”

“You can remember that but not about the suspect or Stahl?”

“Yeah, I was hit by a truck…”

“Technically, the dumpster you were in was hit by truck, you were just in a trash compactor, very fear factor.”

“Damn, I miss that show.”

The doctor and nurses came in, his pain meds were increased and after a brief conversation with Holt and Amy’s parents, Amy found herself alone with Jake at midnight, the only noises were those of the machines. The doctors were worried about kidney infection, but everyone who came and saw him agreed that he was lucky to be alive. This was repeated even more when Charles had sent the captain a picture of the dumpster, Amy and Victor both gasped, it didn’t seem possible that anyone could have survived the ordeal in the dumpster that looked like it had been nearly flattened.

At three in the morning, Amy was charging her phone and reading on it when Jake opened his eyes and coughed, Amy was quickly at his side, Jake brushed her cheek with his right hand, “Ames, don’t be sad, I’m lucky. Let’s remember that, I’m lucky this time, probably shouldn’t be alive, but I am, so that’s lucky. One for Jake.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Amy get some good news.

Amy and Jake

“Are you ready?” Amy was pacing back and forth, she hoped Jake was, because she was still unsure if she was ready.

Jake nodded, although reluctantly, “yes, let’s do this, it’s time, it’s been six days. I leave tomorrow, and I don’t want him visiting at our apartment, and he is my best friend, he just hurts me when he’s sad, happy, excited, horny, sick, and nervous.”

Amy took a deep breath, “okay, here goes.” She pressed the nurse’s intercom, “okay, send him in.” They heard a shout of some sort, followed by some warnings from the nurse, then the doorknob turned, and Charles walked, almost ran, in and fell to his knees next to Jake’s hospital bed.

“Jakey, it should have been me. You’re too beautiful to go through all this. Too beautiful and brave.”

“Charles, chill man. I’m doing better, I’ll be fine.”

Charles stood up and surveyed all the machines Jake was hooked up to, “I heard you lost half a kidney, I’ve already offered one of mine if it will serve you.”

Amy laughed, part amusement part disgust. Jake rolled his eyes, “Charles, please sit down. My biggest danger now is you hurting me, like tackling me after you found out Amy was pregnant.”

“That’s on you for holding it from me.”

Jake pointed at him, “no, it’s on you for not reacting like a normal person, Charles, normal people don’t hurt their friends for good news, or for all the reasons you tackle me.”

Charles’ gaze was focused on Amy’s stomach, “Charles, knock it off, quit staring at belly or I’ll mace you so fast...”

Charles grinned and tried to place his flat palm over Amy’s stomach before she slapped it away with a lot of force.

“Sorry, Amy, just so excited. So, when do we find out if it’s a little Amy or a perfect little Jake?”

Amy shared a look with Jake, she was already tired of him, but he loved Jake, more than anything, so she would be patient, “we are going to try on my next visit to my doctor, Monday, the third, it will be just eighteen weeks, so it could be difficult to see for certain, but that’s the plan.”

Jake smile at her, “September third and I’ll know whether to expect a small version of Amy or a hellraiser, crap, all of a sudden all girls sounds better.”

Amy frowned, “that’s no guarantee, at all. It’s not the cartoons where all the boy dogs look like their dad and all the girl dogs look their mom.”

Charles beamed, “but that would be awesome if you Lady and the Tramped it, one little Jake amongst a litter of Amy’s.”

Amy hit him on his harm, “Charles, do not refer to anything having to do with my pregnancy as a litter, I’m not a dog.”

“Yeah, Boyle. Be cool or she’ll have you banned.”

Charles hung his head, “I’m already on my third and final warning here because I tried to sneak in, twice, once on Tuesday and again yesterday. Why wasn’t I allowed to see you? I am your besty after all.”

Jake laughed and grabbed his side, Amy’s eyes narrowed, “Charles, we both love you, you are our good friend, but you go overboard and hurt Jake, he has broken ribs and had internal damage that resulted in half a kidney being removed, so you were a risk we couldn’t take. The same might be true for our baby when it is born if you can’t learn to control your emotions when it comes to Jake.”

Charles shuffled his feet and bobbed his head around, “okay, I get it, Genevieve and Terry both pretty much said the same thing.”

After a very long hour, Charles was gone and Amy laying next to Jake on his right side, his less injured side, he was asleep, and she marveled at his strength. She knew he was scared and nervous, he had been before it happened, but he was so determined to be strong for her that he was putting aside his own fears and insecurities, he had come a long way since they started dating.

Both of them were awakened by the doctor, Amy felt a little embarrassed for sleeping on her injured husband, but Jake insisted on it and he told her he slept better with her on the bed with him. 

“Detective Peralta,” Doctor Ingram was a short, balding black man with a thick moustache, “everything is continuing to look good, so barring any unforeseen changes, you will be discharged tomorrow in the early afternoon. Your vitals remain excellent, no signs of infection, your remaining kidney seems to be functioning normally.”

Amy squeezed his hand, “Doctor, will he be required to change up his diet? I know a partial nephrectomy is fairly rare, or so I’ve read.”

Dr. Ingram nodded, “yes, that’s why it took so long to get Jake out of surgery his first day here, we thought it would be more straight forward because of the lacerations and their locations, but it’s never simple, once the broken bones were set our best kidney surgeon and specialist, Dr. Hudson came in and took off more, I don’t know if you were told all this, it’s not really necessary to know as the surgery was success, it just took a long time.” Dr. Ingram looked at Jake’s chart and CT scans, “you are fortunate Mr. Peralta, with a partially functioning kidney, in addition to your other kidney, the diet requirements are fairly minimal, which from what I’ve been told about your eating habits by the nurses is fortunate. You seem to really like sugar. A lot. You need to drink a lot of water, way more than you do know, and make eating vegetables a more regular thing, these kidneys keep you alive Mr. Peralta, treat them nicely.”

Amy glared at Jake quickly, she then remembered something. “Doctor, I have an ultrasound in three days, will Jake be able to come with me? I know he is required to rest for a long time, minimal activities, and no strenuous activities for five to six weeks, I would love him there, I just don’t want to push him if it’s too soon.”

Dr. Ingram rubbed his chin, “actually, I was considering something.” He looked at Amy, “Sergeant Peralta, I was told you were punched in your kidneys, rather brutally, at the beginning of your pregnancy, forgive me if this painful to hear or re-hash, but as a kidney specialist, I would like to take a look at them, just to make sure your pregnancy combined with what you went through isn’t placing too great a strain on them. As we do this, we can determine the sex of the baby. We don’t always recommend CT scans for pregnant women, it’s normally avoided, but the risk of any radiation or adverse effects is minimal and the benefits of getting a good look at your kidneys and the baby outweigh the risks for me. It’s your decision, I am just curious and am always trying to find out more about renal strain during pregnancy.”

Amy grinned, she had read about CT scans and pregnancies, weeks ago, most doctors avoided them, but it was truly not a big deal. “That would be awesome, I would still need to go to my ultrasound and see my doctor, but absolutely.”

Dr. Ingram nodded, “great, I’m not overly concerned, but renal strain in pregnant women can be overwhelming, and with what you went through, I am curious to say the least, and again, I’m hoping I can learn something.”

After Dr. Ingram left, Amy was elated, “Jake, we get to know today! I’m so nervous and happy all at once.”

“Ames, that’s cool. Cool, cool, cool, but what about your kidneys, what if they’re not great.”

Amy rolled her eyes at him, “Jake, I’m fine. I’ve felt great, I’ve read about women with renal issues, I don’t have that, no blood in urine, no pain, I’m good.”

“I don’t know what renal issues are, but it sounds like butt problems.”

Amy hit his leg, “no, Mr. Kidney problems, renal means kidneys, do you ever pay attention to doctors?”

“No, then I have an excuse to eat the way I do.”

“Jake, you have to eat better. You’ve improved, but now, with a baby on the way and half a kidney down, it’s time to step up and eat like an adult, for us.”

“Damn, ignoring myself is easy, but ignoring you and baby Peralta, not as easy.”

Twenty minutes later, a nurse came and escorted Amy to the diagnostics lab on the next floor up. Jake turned on the television and was happy to find Die Hard on. Bruce Willis was a bloody mess, normally, this caused Jake to feel excited for the ending, but now, it was different. He hadn’t watched since Amy’s captivity and torture, and now, after his own near-death experience, he couldn’t watch it, he had been a bloody mess and was told more times than he could count that he was lucky to be alive. He sighed loudly and changed the channel, in a state of disbelief that he couldn’t stomach his favorite movie. He watched a Met’s game now, they were lousy and already out of playoff contention, but he loved the Mets. He had wondered once why he loved the Mets so much, they were occasionally good, but often bad if not terrible, then Amy forced him to watch Ken Burns’ Baseball, and he had his answer.

Roger Angell, a sports writer Jake had liked and read his entire life explained that the Mets represented the common man, who lost more than they won, and that this fact resonated with people. The Mets of the sixties had lost record amounts of games and still brought in more fans than the winning Yankees, because people felt a connection with the Mets, they were more like themselves. Jake needed that, he felt that he lost, a lot. Going to prison, his current injuries, Amy’s ordeal, they were terrible and difficult to deal with and comprehend, but if he was like the Mets, then that was okay, losses were expected, part of life, it made him feel a little better about things.

Amy was wheeled into the room smiling, Dr. Ingram pushed her, “Detective, your wife insisted I wait to tell you until she was with you, which not everyone would do in her shoes. He put Amy next to Jake, then removed a photo from his folder, “this is the image of your child.” Jake squinted, he wasn’t sure what he saw, Amy teared up, “Jake, I can tell you are not unlike many fathers, but you are having a baby boy. Congratulations. Also, on an equally happy note, there appears to be no renal damage, things look excellent.”

Dr. Ingram was soon gone, and Jake and Amy were still silent, Amy was smiling, and Jake looked like he was in shock, when Amy noticed his look she rubbed his leg, “Jake, you look sad, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just kind of wanted a girl, a little Amy, a little princess to spoil. I didn’t say anything, but it’s what I was thinking.”

Amy kissed him, “only you, Jake, only you. You aren’t excited for a boy?”

Jake moved uncomfortably, “sure, but what if he’s like me, I was not easy to deal with, despite my claims, I don’t always think I’m awesome.”

Amy rolled her eyes at him, “yes, I know, we are married. You were normal, your mom told me you could be hard to deal with sometimes, but that you were also her protector and cook and cleaner, she thinks that’s why you were such a slob when you lived on your own.”

Jake nodded slightly on his pillow, “yeah, maybe, but still a punk. Do I want Bruce Peralta to be like that?”

“First, no Bruce, second, our son will have his difficult times, they all do, but he will be ours, and we will love him no matter what and make the best of it, like your mom did with you, like my parents did with seven boys.”

“What about him being a Peralta? Roger was terrible, his dad was a drinker, I’m good, but it took a lot of bad examples to get me there. Not to mention you, you, and you. Did I mention you?”

“Jake, you are not a good person and husband just because your dad left you and you met me.”

Jake sat up a little, “Are you sure? I was still a tool when we met, I hurt you, I was more selfish, I didn’t take care of myself.”

“And I was overly obsessed with my career, I was judgmental, and I had never been in love. You changed that, I cared about someone else. You brought me out of my safe zone and helped me realize there was more to life, that it was okay to enjoy things and have a good time while I walked my path to my plans. You also support me more than anyone ever has, including my parents, so give yourself a break.”

Jake thought about things for a minute, he watched the game a little as Amy continued to take in the image of their son. “Ames, you sure you want the name William? It just sounds so formal.”

“I do like it, but it’s far from a final decision, it would be easier if you came to the table with actual serious names and not only movie names or puns.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ve kind of started wanting to give our baby a Hispanic name, since his last name won’t reflect his Cuban roots.”

“Okay, I’m fine with that, but it doesn’t have to be that either, you don’t have to do it for me or my parents, my name is Amy after all.”

“No, I’m serious, this baby will be Jewish and Cuban, the nose will probably give away the Jewish like me, so I’m thinking the first name should give away the Cuban.”

Amy rubbed his leg lovingly, “okay, do you have any you like or have thought about?”

Jake shook his head slightly, “well, the only one I’ve thought about is José, because of your Grandpa Santiago.”

“And for a middle name? Hispanic or other?” 

Jake looked away, slightly embarrassed, “well, honestly, I wanted José Jacob Peralta, and we could call him JJ when he’s young, I like the sound of JJ Peralta.”

Amy nodded and considered it, “I kind of like, I love your name for his middle name, I’ll think about it, not one hundred percent sure, but I like it, my dad would be beyond thrilled, they were really close, and he says he’s always felt bad that he didn’t name one my brothers José.”

“C’mon Ames, JJ Peralta, it has a ring to it, a very nice ring.”

Amy leaned over and kissed him, “I’ll think about it, for reals.”

Jake smiled, “that’s all I ask.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Amy worry about being parents.

Amy and Jake

“Jake Peralta! What the hell are you doing?” Jake nearly fell off of the chair he was standing on to reach the bottle of orange soda he had hidden in a high cupboard in the kitchen. Amy’s hands were on her hips and Jake thought she looked more murderous than normal for his infractions.

“Ames, just craving some orange soda and I remembered I have some up here.”

“No, no and no! Jake, we talked about this, a lot in fact. You were in surgery nine days ago, nine days! You cannot go back to your old habits, you have a kidney and a half instead of two and you were super unhealthy before.”

Jake sighed and slowly and carefully got down off the chair, “C’mon Ames, it’s me, I’m gonna have some soda, I’m gonsta.”

Amy wrapped her arms around him, “Jake, I don’t want to be a ball buster wife, I don’t, but I also don’t want to be a widow, even more than the ball buster thing. We have both had our close calls and there are things we can do to make sure we stick around longer, I need you to be on board with this.”

Jake threw his head back a little and breathed out slowly, “okay, okay, I give. I know. I will be good. And for the record, you aren’t a ball breaker, you’re doing what you can to keep our family togethers, forevers style, I get it. After your shit, I lost mine and wanted to do whatever I could to keep you safe, still do, so I gets it, I do, and I will try, but you know me, there will be moments of weakness and soda, but I will try.”

Amy kissed his cheek softly, “thank you. It’s even more real with JJ on the way,” she smiled at him.

Jake squinted at her and then a grin formed, “are you saying we can name baby Peralta José Jacob aka JJ?”

Amy shrugged a little and then nodded, “yeah, I told my dad yesterday while you were sleeping, I nearly dropped the phone because he agreed so loudly. He said his dad would be proud to share your name for the sake of our son, he said his mother was much more serious than my grandpa. He thinks the two of you would have gotten along well. He loves the name so much he is already framing us a poem by the famous Cuban poet and revolutionary José Martí, so we can’t change now. I was going to leave you hanging a while longer, but I decided to be nice, plus we can tell your mom when she comes.”

“Noice, Victor’s on board and I won’t be able to understand the poetry in my living room, better yet.”

Three hours later and thirty minutes late, Jake’s mom knocked on the door, as Amy let her in, Karen squealed with delight.

“Look at the adorable baby bump.” She kissed Jake, hugged Amy, a lot, “I still can’t believe I’m going to be a nana, I used to think it might not happen, Jake being so married to work and then you seemed so professionally oriented, so this is a nice surprise.”

Jake and Amy sat down on the couch while Karen place her bags down and sat on the recliner, “Moms, how was great aunt Esther?”

“She’s good Jake, eighty five and still exercises more than us. I saw a few of my cousins, Benjamin has such a gorgeous house, he’s some sort of investor. Look at you Jake, I think I’m glad I didn’t see you in the hospital, I would have lost it, I might lose it now looking at you, my poor little pineapples.”

Amy laughed loudly, Jake frowned, “that was nana’s name for me, no more of that. Where’s Roger? Did he have a nice time with you?”

Karen and Amy exchanged looks, Karen took a large breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds, “look, Jakey, I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to stress you out, and then you were injured…Roger moved out, while I was on my trip, it’s kind of why I went.”

Jake stiffened and could feel anger and resentment towards his father building within himself, “what did the man-whore do now, or should I say who?”

Amy hit Jake, harder than normal, Jake saw a single tear in the corner of his mom’s eye, “Jakey, he is who is, I should have known better. It was nice while it lasted, but I caught him, by pure coincidence, I visited a friend at the hotel she was staying at and happened to see your father getting some more of his frequent flyer miles with some woman.”

Jake nodded angrily, “wow, what a class act, but I guess I can’t be mad he didn’t visit since you weren’t talking to him.”

Jake noticed Amy turning red and squirming uncomfortably, “you knew, Ames, you knew?”

Amy held his cheek with one hand, “babe, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, but your mom told me, so I could let your dad know. I talked to him and he said he would come visit, but he never did. I’m sorry.”

Jake forced himself to relax a little, “look, Ames, Moms, you did nothing wrong, at all. This is on him and my unresolved daddy problems.”

Amy wrapped an arm around him, “Jakey, I talked to him on your second to last day in the hospital, we fought, he was being an ass and said you would just yell at him, I tried to remind him he has never really been there for you, but it was a losing battle. On a happier subject, I brought gifts for the baby, I know, you don’t know the sex yet, but I have a feeling, I just do, so here’s some boy clothing, if it’s a girl, save it, just in case.”

Jake laughed, “damn Karen, you’re good, we found out, we’re having a boy. We are going to name him José Jacob Peralta, after Amy’s grandpa and myself.”

Karen shrieked, “I love it, little JJ, so adorable Jakey.” Karen pulled out two Golden State Warrior Jerseys for a baby, one with Peralta written on the back, the other with Curry.

“Holy shit Moms, best baby gifts ever, this lil boy will be legit.”

That evening, Amy noticed Jake had been quiet during dinner and afterward, especially for him. She thought she knew why, but she didn’t want to force him to talk about if he wasn’t ready, but as he sighed for what felt like the one hundredth time as they watched Turner and Hooch, she couldn’t hold off longer. 

“Jake, what’s eating you?”

Jake looked at her, he tried to feign a perplexed look which Amy frowned at, “fine, this shit with Roger, Ames, I’m worried, I don’t think I’d ever cheat on you, that’s just not me, and I love you, but what if I get the cold feet about being a father like Roger and bail on the family or just don’t care about JJ.”

Amy scooted over so she was now leaning against him, “Jake, listen to me, you will be fine. Your dad’s fuck ups are not your fault, and neither are they signs of things to come for you, you are completely different, in every way that counts.”

Jake shrugged, “I guess, I just worry Amy, I don’t want to fuck up JJ like my dad did to me. A lot of the shit I pulled, and my attitude was because I truly thought I was the only one I could depend on, it hurt me personally and professionally.”

Amy rested her head on his shoulder, “listen, let’s go to bed, we’re tired, I have to go back to work tomorrow, and you have to meet with Holt.”

Jake nodded slowly, “yeah, I know, I wish I didn’t. It’s weird, I don’t know why I have to go in when I’m medical leave, that’s not normal.”

Amy softly kissed his ear, “yeah, but the last few times you were on medical leave you broke all the rules, so he might just want to keep an eye on you.”

Jake

As they walked into the Nine-Nine the next morning, Jake felt exhausted, he hadn’t slept very much that night, his thoughts consumed with his abilities or lack of as a father. Amy had done her best to try and console him and boost his confidence, but he felt like he was sinking further.

Jake peeked out of the elevator, Scully and Hitchcock were arguing over the last donut and Terry was lifting weights in front of the mirror. Jake scurried through quickly, thankful that Charles and Rosa must be out on a case. He tapped on Holt’s door and was ushered in by Holt without a word.

Jake sat down, “Peralta, thank you for coming in. I know you need rest, but I wanted to discuss some things with you.”

“Sure, Captain.” Jake hadn’t made real eye contact yet.

“Peralta, are you okay? You seem down, it is only your third day of home rest, well mostly home rest.”

“That doesn’t bother me, I need to heal and get stronger, I get that.”

Holt eyed him suspiciously, “well, I will come back to this. I would like you to consider becoming a Sergeant. The exam is in six weeks, giving you that time to study.”

Jake rolled his eyes, “oh, did Amy talk to you about this?”

Holt looked surprised, “no, not at all. I thought this was my own idea, but she is perceptive. The way you have handled yourself since Sergeant Peralta’s ordeal has shown me something I didn’t expect, that you are ready to lead.”

Jake shrugged, “Captain, that’s just not me.”

“Nonsense Peralta, it is you. You kept Rosa from hurting her career and a fellow officer, you took charge of a difficult situation on the day you were injured and despite the fact you were hurt, you did everything you could to keep yourself and others out of harms way. I have been impressed and have given great thought to this, I truly believe you would excel at this.”

Jake shifted nervously in his chair, “Captain, I don’t even think I’m ready to be a dad let alone a sergeant too, besides, I don’t want to leave the Nine-Nine.”

Holt nodded, “I understand, but the temporary commissioner that was put in place will officially leave office in two months, and I have been asked to be commissioner.” Jake looked stunned and was about to congratulate him when Holt held up his hand to not comment, “I will make Terry captain, he has a month to pass the test and Sergeant Peralta would be given a chance to take her lieutenant’s exam and be his number two and continue to lead the uniformed officers as well some additional duties and responsibilities, but I have yet to talk to her about any of this, so I would ask for your discretion.”

“I think that’s great for Terry and Amy, but for me, I just don’t see it. I do what I have to so I can be a good detective. I care about my squad, but I’m me captain, I’m a Peralta, my dad was a good pilot and captain, but he still screwed up a lot.”

Holt leaned back and pointed at Jake, “I understand now, you are fretting about becoming your father. Jake, please listen to me. I know you worry about becoming your father and letting down your wife and child, but you are different from Roger Peralta in the most fundamental and important way.”

Holt stopped talking, Jake didn’t want to ask, but he finally got curious enough, “Okay, Captain, what’s that? How am I supposedly not like him?”

“Jake, you care about who you are, as a person. Your father cared about a good time, being fun, having fun. You have constantly and consistently proven his opposite. You put your career on the line to bring your wife back safely, in the case where you were injured you took charge and assisted the uniformed officers and forced the hand of a suspect who would have gotten away otherwise. That is not who your father is. I have seen you support and assist Amy in her goals, I cannot imagine that your father has ever done that. Finally, Jake, I know that you love Amy more than yourself, I have seen you give to her, before you even began a romantic relationship.”

Jake shifted in his chair again, “look, maybe it’s true, but I still worry about becoming him sir.”

“Jake, have you ever heard me talk about my father?”

“No sir, but personal information isn’t really your jam.”

“I admired my father, he was brilliant, he was supportive, and him accepting me as a gay man was not easy for him, but he loved me and supported me nonetheless. He never talked about my grandfather, my mother’s father was a fixture at our home, but my grandfather Holt had passed away and was never talked about until I graduated the police academy and finally asked him directly. My grandfather was an abusive drunk. He womanized, he put everyone down. I was astounded, as I thought about it, I finally asked my father why he never talked about, and do you know what he told me Jake?”

Jake shook his head no, “he told me because he was terrified he was no different than his father, which was as ridiculous as believing you could be like Roger. He was affected so negatively, like you, that his greatest fear was becoming the very thing that had caused him so much pain in his life. You are not that man, you have become a leader and truly great man.”

Jake had tears in his eyes, but he couldn’t look away from Holt, “thank you sir, I needed this. I need to talk to Amy but thank you for believing in me sir. I’ve come a long way since you started here.”

Amy

She felt overwhelmed by the amount of work she had to catch up on, but she had one thing that had to be done first. Amy had called Rosa and told him to get Charles out of the bullpen, so he wouldn’t harm Jake or get nosy, so Rosa had him in the morgue doing some paperwork they needed to do. Amy texted Rosa to meet her alone in the conference room in the basement.

“Amy, what’s up?”

“Hey, Rosa, thanks for the Charles wrangling. I appreciate it, a lot. I need some advice?”

Rosa frowned, “yeah, that’s not my thing. Why not Holt or Gina?”

Amy shook her head, “no, Rosa, it has to be you, you are the most honest with me and you know way better than you think I do. Jake is freaking out about becoming his dad.”

“Yeah, he’s stupid, his dad’s a tool, he hit on me the first time we met, and Jake made me pretend to be his girlfriend to impress that jerk.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, but Jake’s nothing like him. Is that your problem?”

Amy sighed, “no, Jake’s not the only one worrying about not being a good parent.”

Rosa rolled her eyes, “Amy, holy shit, don’t be like Jake.”

“I’m not, I’m just concerned. I’ve never been very good at homemaking, but I’m not worried about that part, but what if I’m not a good mom. My mom was good at everything and knew how to do girl stuff. I can look like a girl, but other than make up, I’m not great.”

“Amy don’t be stupid. You will be a great mom, you accept people, no matter what, like you have with me. Other women I know, they aren’t the same with me since I came out as bi, but you are, you never changed, even a little. You never gave up on Jake when he and I were in jail, Adrien left the country and hid, but you worked tirelessly to get us out, that’s dedication and love. Parent shit. You also love nerd stuff which will make that kid smart, and the fact that you have already helped Jake get more mature, well that’s impressive. So, don’t be a dummy, you’ll be awesome. Okay, I’ve gotta get out of here, too many emotions. “

Amy and Jake

Amy was catching up on paperwork and reading reports in her office when Jake peeked in, “Hey sergeant, I know your busy, but do you have a minute to talk to a sorry detective.”

Amy smiled sadly, “you’re not a sorry detective, but yes, come in, shut the door, you seem serious.”

Jake shut the door and sat down, “Holt wants me to consider becoming a sergeant. You really didn’t talk to him about that?”

Amy’s eyes went wide, and she shook her head, “no, not at all. That’s insane, that man is so perceptive.”

“Well, I think I might try, he talked to me about it, and about my fears of becoming my dad.”

Amy reached across her desk and took his hand, “that’s amazing. The most important part is that you know you’ll be amazing. I’m worried about being a mom, it’s normal.”

Jake sputtered, “you, you were worried? Amy, you’ll be the best. You are organized, you plan well, you take care of me, you’ll be amazeballs, Ames, amazeballs.”

Amy laughed, “Jake, you take care of me all the time. I talked to Rosa, I feel better.”

“Did she tell you to stop being a dummy?”

“Yes, but she also had some good points. Look, this is new territory for us, we both have insecurities, but we can do this, but we have to do it the same way we’ve gotten through all our other problems.”

“Ah, you mean together, the old team work speech.”

“Yes, Jake, teamwork, but it’s true. Together, we’re pretty awesome.”

Jake nodded, “I agree, in fact, we’re fucking awesome.”

“True, but you have to start watching your language, baby on the way.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy Jake traverse the month of October through various trials due to family and job related joys and pains.

Jake

Jake was fidgety, he had been forced to hold still for CT scan of his arm, then for his ribs and kidney, and now he was having a new cast fit and put on to make sure he didn’t move it wrong. He had begged the doctor to let him only have a splint, but one of the breaks wasn’t healing as it should, so now he faced an additional month and a half in the cast, which meant either desk work or staying in the apartment. Today was October first and he had barely survived the month at home.

Twice he was caught being out and walking around Brooklyn trying to do something interesting, he reinjured a rib when he fell off a chair replacing a battery in the smoke detector. Amy, Holt, and his mom had an intervention about his behavior, he tried to explain that he had actually been really good, but when Amy showed his Karen the scan of his newly injured rib, she had gone through the roof and he was now being checked up on at home on a regular basis. 

He had been allowed to check out a few leads on houses as Amy desperately wanted to move, but it was depressing as everything was either in East Flatbush where he didn’t want to raise a family, or too expensive. He could tell Amy was starting to stress out more and more about finding a place she would want to raise a family, she had started a plan and calendar, not to mention binders, so he knew that if they didn’t find something soon, the real stress would come.

As Jake left the doctor’s office and headed to his car, he heard his name and turned around, “Ames, what are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, babe. I wanted to be here for your appointment but got caught in a dispute at the Nine-Nine. Two officers it turns out are dating the same girl, it did not go well.”

“Noice, a little drama, like on the tv.”

“So, what did the doctor say, I see you have a cast, sorry.”

“Yeah, well, it sucks. I’m going crazy, all I do is study for the Sergeant’s exam during the day, prep for a baby and test you on the lieutenant’s exam at night. I love you and want a future, but this boredom to the extreme.”

“You know I have my exam tomorrow, so tonight, we’re all about quizzing, just get on board.”

“Ames, you kick ass at everything, you’re ready.”

She smiled shyly, “I know, but Holt is putting his reputation on the line for me, when he becomes commissioner, I have to be ready to lead the precinct with Terry and be ready for JJ Peralta.”

Jake couldn’t help but smile when the baby’s name was said, “The timing for all this is tough, our incidents at work, getting pregnant, then being put on a fast track to promotions with tests, it’s a lot.”

Amy nodded as she reached out and took his hand, “I know, it is a lot, but it will make our situation better. I get a pretty big pay raise because of my tenure, the courses I’ve taken, and the promotion. Twenty-five thousand to be exact, and you’ll get about fifteen thousand more, to start with, that’s pretty good.”

“You want that house in Bensonhurst, you showed me the figures, that would be seven thousand a month after we sell your apartment for the down payment.”

“Damn, you’re sexy when you remember my numbers, but we can do it. We would still have eight thousand a month in take home pay, that would be enough to live, decently.”

Jake sighed, “yeah, but my credit, can we qualify?”

Amy laughed, “yeah, because of me. I know all the finance people in the area, we’re good. The question is, do you want this?”

Jake had to think, the past month had been difficult, he had become more adult since he had been with Amy, but the past month had been the most adult time of his life, constant studying and preparation for future additions to the family, looking at houses. He was bored and stressed, but he also knew he wanted to give JJ stability, not worry about losing the house like he and his mom. “Let’s go for it, it’s stressful, but it’s not a huge house, it’s a good neighborhood, and we can turn the garage into a studio apartment like you said. Okay, ya gots me, I’m in.”

When Jake got to the apartment, he didn’t notice the man on the steps as he parked the car, as he walked to the door he saw him, Roger, looking nervous and as Roger-like as ever.

“Dad, nice to finally see you, it only took two months for you to visit your son wounded in the line of duty.” Jake didn’t want to argue, he truly didn’t, but whenever he saw Roger, the comments and frustrations that had accumulated throughout a lifetime of letdowns just came to the surface.

“Jake, look, I’m sorry. I’ve never been a good dad, I get that.”

“Really? So you are aware yet still choose the path of douchiness?”

Roger winced, “I guess I had that coming. Can I talk to you for a bit?”

Jake rolled his eyes and wished was not happening, “sure, let’s go inside.”

As they sat down, Roger seemed more nervous than normal. “What do you need, dad?”

“Jake, you have a right to hate me, so don’t take what I’m about to do as a way of me buying you off.”

Jake looked surprised, his dad had been a classic user, his entire life, so giving was a new thought for his dad to be doing. “You’re giving me something?”

“Look, I’m a mess, but my father, he put things aside for you when you were little, I tried my best to get to it, but I wasn’t allowed. You were supposed to receive it when you turned thirty, but I kept quiet and let it gain more interest as I’m a dick and wanted it.”

Roger reached in his pocket and took out a paper, “I can close out the account and get a check in your name, I thought of forgery, but I have bad luck, so I waited, but you deserve this. Here.”

Jake reached out and took the check, he felt his heart explode when he saw the amount, “Dad, this check is for over two hundred-fifty thousand dollars.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

Jake shook his head, “hey, Roger, I’m impressed you gave it to me at all.”

“I know you must hate me, I’m sorry.”

“Roger, er, Dad, listen, I don’t hate you. I love you and that’s why I act like I hate you because what you did hurt. I worshipped you, I wanted nothing more than to be with you, then be like you, but now, I just feel sorry for you.”

Roger looked confused, “really? Why?”

“Because you bounce around, you have kids everywhere, you have drama and hatred in every hub, but me, I may only have one woman and I might be drowning in the boredom of adulthood most days lately, but I have a wife who loves me, and I know my son will love me, and I get to see that and feel that every damn day, you screwed yourself out of that, literally.”

Amy

Her stress levels were building, between policing Jake and keeping her officers from fighting over the same woman, her day had been anything but peaceful, not to mention that she was now six months pregnant, her stomach was getting bigger, and she felt exhausted between working and studying for herself and with Jake for their respective exams.

Amy was signing all the paperwork she needed to get in as fast as she could when Rosa knocked on her door, “Rosa, come in. What’s up?”

Rosa sat down, her face ashen, “I heard a rumor. I hate gossip, but I have to know, is Jake really taking the sergeant’s exam?”

“Yeah, he is. Crazy, huh?”

Rosa looked stunned, “yeah, I mean, this is Jake. Is he doing okay with it, not freaking out or being more immature?”

Amy sighed, “a little, he’s Jake, he likes freedom, but he’ll have that once he does this exam. I don’t expect him to go any higher, but he’s good at what he does, and he understand people’s strengths and weaknesses in a way that few people do. You know what I mean?”

Rosa nodded, “yeah, I do, it’s just a shock. I thought about the exam, but I have an issue.”

Amy blurted before she could stop herself, “your temper?”

Rose glared and then softened, “yeah, my temper. I hate it, I tell everyone to just stop being a dummy, but I can’t stop being one. Does that make me a bad cop?”

Amy shook her head, “no, it makes you a good one, it means you care about the work. You care that others do their jobs correctly, that justice is served. That’s good.”

“It might be if I didn’t threaten other cops all the time.”

“Rosa, do you want to be sergeant?”

Rosa shook her head, “no, that’s the thing, I really don’t. I think that’s why Jake maturing so much bothers me though, he’s improving and I’m still Raging Rosa or Deadly Diaz. I used to think it was hilarious, but I don’t want to be a bully, I just want the job done well.”

Amy smirked, “then you have the opportunity to do it. If Jake does become sergeant, if he is over the detectives, he will need your input, he will need your eye to detail and the things you notice, the faults, the mistakes, those are important. He depends on you and respects you a lot. A lot.”

Rosa was quiet, “I just hate emotions and examining myself, but I don’t want to be the bitter old cop either.”

“I get it. I used to think I would just always be the goody two shoes cop who everyone hated, but then I fell in love with a slob whose paperwork was abysmal, and we ending up helping each other, we became a team.”

“So now I have fall in love with an overly happy cop?”

Amy laughed, “no, but you have a chance to be a team, Jake would be an idiot to not make you head detective. You can work together and use your strengths and weaknesses to learn and improve.”

Rosa nodded and stood up, “Thanks, Sergeant, too many emotions, but I appreciate it.”

Amy and Jake

Jake was deep in thought with his dad’s check was in front of him. It was a huge help, but it also had him thinking about himself. His dad took forever to give it to him, it was good timing now, but Roger had also been a tool and thought of himself, not his son. Jake couldn’t help but feel guilty, he had focused on how the exam, the studying, the changes were bothering him, not how it would help the family as Amy pointed out, he hated being a true adult, but he didn’t want to be like Roger and only do it out of guilt or despair from time to time and then resent his kids because of it like his dad did.

Jake looked around the apartment, everywhere there were little notes, calendars, and papers Amy had done to help them both. He knew he would never be as ambitious or together as Amy, but he also knew she did so much for him because she loved him, he would do anything for her, so why not this, why not truly buy in and not be a dick?

The door opened, and he realized he had been staring at the check for nearly two hours. “Ames, so, some interesting news. I put in a bid on the house, I lowballed them, but told them we could do half of the offer in cash once the apartment sold, and they immediately accepted it.”

Amy nearly dropped her things, “Jake, we can’t do that, my apartment will sell for two fifty, maybe three, which will give us two hundred thousand for the down payment.”

Jake nodded, “I know. It turns out my grandpa Jerry put a bit of money away for me when I was born, Roger tried to take it, but finally gave it to me,” he held up the check, “this is a check for two-hundred and fifty-seven thousand dollars.”

“Shut up!”

“No, it’s true. I called Manuel, he said the sellers were in need of quick cash to get a house they wanted, so that the amount we could offer before escrow and all that would be enough. He has a buyer lined up to buy our apartment in cash, if we agree to two-hundred sixty.”

“Jake, that’s perfect. You look uneasy though.”

Jake chuckled, “first, it’s shocking that we are having good luck happen to us, but I also realized that I was being like my dad.”

Amy sat next to him on the floor, which was a struggle, and she insisted despite Jake’s protests, she then put her arm around him, “no, you are not.”

Jake smiled and nodded, “I was, not in the worst ways, but in a way that drives all that. Roger never grew up, he never wanted to. I’m like that, my diet, my reluctance to move forward at work, I didn’t want to be a grown-up, I thought it would make me boring and unlike my many cinematic idols.”

“And now?” Amy looked on the verge of tears, her pregnancy had done that to her.

“Now? I look at Terry and Holt, they’re my idols, they do good work, fight for real changes, important things, they are committed real adults while my father refuses to grow up and will be a seventy-year old man with an earring and cheap-ass sports car to impress the ladies. That’s not who I want to be, so I get it. I can still be a good cop, but I will commit and take the exam and I will pass it.”

“You would have failed on purpose?” Amy looked shocked.

“No, not on purpose, but I think I wouldn’t have tried my hardest, you know, given it my all, but I have two weeks to do that and make sure I kill it, Amy styles.

Amy

The following day, Amy came home smiling from her exam, she informed Jake it was easier than the seven different practice tests she had made herself. Jake was deep in studying for his exam now, which was made easier as Amy’s test was out of the way. Jake felt calmer about things, he knew he still had at least two weeks of at home rest and then physical therapy for his arm once it was out of the cast, but things felt right.

Amy was on cloud nine as she walked into her office two weeks later, Jake had just informed her that he knew every question and scenario on the exam, that he thought it was way easier than it should have been, Amy felt proud, for them both. Their apartment was sold and Jake’s mom and Charles had helped pack up the apartment, ready for the move next week. Amy’s smile soon changed and she fell down to earth when she read her email, Holt had sent a message asking her when she would officially exit for maternity leave, that while he was not her, he would want to be as careful as possible and do it sooner than later, especially since the NYPD had excellent leave and she had accrued a lot of days, and they gave her more after her kidnapping months earlier.

Amy replied, as vague as possible, which she hated to do to her mentor, but she had been doing well at work, she was hardly in the field, she was in no real danger, and she didn’t relish relinquishing control of her squad to someone else during her leave. She was in the middle of texting Jake about all of this when she heard a commotion from the bullpen.

As she left her office she saw Officer Simmons struggling with a perp who looked drugged out of his mind, she then noticed Officer Lou on the floor, looking groggy from probably being kicked in the face, she hurried to help Simmons when the perp, a tall, stringy guy with wild looking hair and a face tattoo slammed the officer back and kicked hard, connecting with Amy’s stomach and knocking her backwards.

Instant pain and cramping hit Amy, she felt faint and then realized she had vaginal bleeding, she felt so stupid, an instant had changed her plans. She wanted to stand up and beat the crap out of the perp, but after he had kicked her, Simmons and Lou regained control and wrestled him and cuffed him while informing him he now got to add harming an officer and unborn child to his long list of offenses.

Terry was soon there and told her an ambulance was on the way, Amy protested, she could walk, but Terry reminded her she needed to play it safe for two people, just not herself. As the ambulance pulled up to the hospital and she was lifted out the back door, she heard Terry say Jake’s name, she turned and saw a fear-stricken Jake.

“Ames, this was not in the plans, I mean, holy fuck, are you okay?”

Amy winced, “I think so, I just feel so stupid, I was texting you about how dumb they were for wanting me to start my maternity leave soon, and this happens and makes me look like the dumb one. I hope our baby’s alright,” as she said this, the emotions hit her and the possible severity of the situation.

Jake held her hand as she was wheeled into the hospital, Jake was fighting his own tears, things had been so good and they both thought they were on a lucky streak. Very little was said as tests were run, a CT scan and stress test, they were both lost in their thoughts and regrets when Amy’s OBGYN entered the examination room.

“Amy, Jake, this was not on our schedule.” She was a middle-aged woman, very tall and Jake found her intimidating, but she was highly recommended, and Amy liked her, a lot. “I rushed over when they called me, I like to be involved in these matters, it tends to relax the patient when their regular doctor tells them the news.”

Amy and Jake both nodded numbly, the doctor looked at the file again, “there is good news bad news here, the good news is that the baby is healthy, protected by amniotic fluid. You are in pretty good shape, but because of the force of the kick you received, there is unfortunately a partial abruption. Now, before you start to worry, knowing you, you have read all about these, yours is extremely small and I think a few weeks, just a few weeks of bed rest will heal that. I hate to recommend bed rest because there is no evidence of it helping except in cases of partial abruptions, so sadly, you will need to start your maternity leave now, and come see me in a week, and then once a week for the remainder of your pregnancy, but I think that in a few weeks, you can have a normal routine, at home, not working, but you won’t be bed ridden.”

Amy cried, but felt a huge relief that things weren’t worse. “Okay, so the baby’s okay, for sure? No danger of premature birth or weight issues?”

The doctor smiled, “I knew you had read about this, yours is minimal, there should be no problem of premature birth, there’s no guarantee, but the numbers are on your side.”

After the doctor left, Amy sadly tugged on Jake’s shirt, he was staring at the ground, “hey, our good luck streak is over. Sorry.”

Jake forced a small grin, despite the gravity of the situation, he was still relieved, “Ames, nothing to be sorry about, sadly, again, our job is never one hundred percent safe, you tried helping an officer, it happens, it sucks this happens, but we’re still lucky, the baby is fine and I get you home with me.”

Amy gave a small crack of a smile, “I guess so, I just wish we could steer clear of these things.”

Jake sat on the edge of the gurney she was still on, “Ames, we’re cops, and good ones, we help when we’re needed, without hesitation, we’ll get hurt, but so far, nothing overly serious. To quote your favorite movie even though you deny it, “tis but a flesh wound.”

Amy laughed, “Holy Grail is not my favorite movie.”

“Really?”

“Really, but it is number three behind Fargo and the original Taking of Pelham One Two Three.”

“Both good movies, your dad finally convinced me about Pelham, it’s up there on my list now too.”

“Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“I change my mind, we are lucky. The good kind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope those of you reading this still enjoy it, the last few chapters have been difficult to write as I am trying my best to guide it into where I would like to end it. I appreciate the comments, please keep them coming, I have a very fragile ego and need the encouragement!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jake move into their new house, see the doctor again, and Amy has some cravings.

“Ames!” Jake was struggling to unpack the last set of boxes at the new house. The nine-nine had pitched in and helped in a big way, but they still had to work, and Jake’s mom was back in L.A. taking care of her aunt who broke her hip.

“What is it Jake?” The receiver end of the baby monitor they had purchased was coming in handy, Jake was loud enough he could yell from anywhere in there small four-bedroom house to Amy and she could respond through the other unit. 

“Do you really need all of these books in the office? It’s not that big of a room.”

“Yes, that’s one of benefits of making our office in the biggest bedroom.”

Jake huffed, “I thought it was so we could have our bedroom upstairs next to the baby’s room.”

“That’s the main reason, having room for all of our books is just a benefit of that decision.”

After getting the boxes managed as best he could with one arm in a cast, Jake climbed the stairs and walked into their bedroom, Amy had decorated the room well despite being on bed rest and disobeying orders, but Jake couldn’t blame her, he was not any better and it had not gone well for him when he got after her.

Amy was reading what Jake thought must have been the two hundredth book she’d read on pregnancy and parenthood. “So, Ames, any groundbreaking revelations in this book?”

“No, but it confirms most of what I’ve studied, so it’s a good affirmation of that.”

Jake laid next her on the bed and took some deep breaths, “I think we’re close, the squad saved us yesterday, especially Lou and Simmons.”

Amy nodded, “they both feel so bad for what happened to me and of course I don’t blame them at all, but they’re my two best officers, so it weighs heavier on them, like it would if something similar happened to us.”

“Yeah, I get it, Simmons could barely look me in the eye, what’s his first name, everyone calls him Simmons.”

Amy laughed, “Richard.”

Jake’s jaw dropped, “like the exercise guy, that’s cruel, a buff black guy with tons of smarts and he’s named after the pasty exercise joker, no wonder, I don’t blame him for not want to first name it. Jake thought for another second, “what about Lou?”

“His parents weren’t much kinder, he was named Louis after his maternal grandfather and his last name is Lew, but everyone calls him Lou, so his badge reads that. His dad is a math professor at NYU and he calls him Lou squared.”

Amy’s phone buzzed, she gasped, “holy shit, Jake, our scores are in, for both of us and Terry wants to know if we want him to open them and tell us or bring them over.”

Jake felt cold, he had put the scores out of his mind, but now, now it could be real, he didn’t expect them so soon, but they had been told the NYPD brass loved them because they never sued despite the terrible things that happened to them and might hurry the process for them. “Yeah, let’s get ‘em.”

Amy quickly texted, her phone almost immediately buzzed, “Mine first, well, I wish he’d given yours first, I got a perfect score, sorry.”

“Ames don’t be sorry, I love you because you’re you, and that means amazing and kick-ass smart.”

Her phone buzzed again, “Damn,” Jake’s heart sunk, “Jake, you got one point less on your sergeant’s exam than I did.”

Jake blinked, “so like a 99%?”

Amy smiled, “yeah, basically, that’s incredible.”

Jake still felt numb and then wished he had known Amy in high school and college, but she would have hated him in those days, for sure. He laughed to himself as he thought of angry nose ring Jake meeting nerdy high school Amy, it would have been brief and disastrous.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft passionate kiss from Amy, “babe, I’m so proud of you. You studied, you focused, and you did it for us, I know haven’t loved all this, but means so much to me how hard you’ve worked and tried, for your family.”

Jake bit his lip, “honestly, it was seeing my dad, I finally got it, I told you, I saw how he was and I realized that fighting any responsibility and progress was really what he was about, the other things, the women and other stupidity were just part of it, and that’s not who I want to be.”

Amy grinned, “who do you want to be?”

“I want to be the best detective I can, if that means also being a sergeant so I can help my family, that’s okay because who I want to be even than a good cop is a more supportive husband and good father, I’m not saying great because that’s a helluva lot of pressure, but I’ll settle for good, besides, working with you, that’ll be enough.”

Amy groaned, half laughing, “oh thanks, put all the pressure on me.”

Jake shook his head, “no, not putting pressure, but facing reality. Ames, you put 1000% into everything you do, I know, you’ll tell me that’s mathematically impossible and inaccurate, but it’s true. I know how much I used to tease you about it, but it’s why I love you, you don’t know how to not give something your all, it’s why you’re an incredible cop and caring person. The whole package, body, mind and soul.”

Amy kissed him again and then pulled back slightly, “I notice you listed body first.”

Jake grinned, “well, that’s the first thing I noticed about you, then fell in love with the other stuff, but even in your dorkiest outfit, I think you’re smokin.”

She shook her head, “smokin?”

Jake whistled, “hells yeah, and speaking of smoking, with a g, how’s the cravings for the old tobacco monkey on your back going?”

“It’s not bad, I crave a stress cigarette at times, but lately, I’ve been so wrapped up in either working, studying, helping you or preparing for the baby, that it wasn’t a problem, at all. The bed rest hasn’t been bad, I mean seven months basically without one, I think I’m over it, I hope so, I don’t want to set a bad example for JJ.”

Jake groaned this time, “don’t get me started on that subject, you have one thing for sure, smoking, maybe a little on the stress or competitiveness, but me, I’ve a got a huge ass list of bad habit stuff. My movies, not great for kids, my shoe addiction, don’t want that passed on, my food and soda habits, oh man, this poor kid.”

Amy gently stroked his cheek, “you’re freaking out for no reason, there will of course be things JJ will have to work on, everyone has that, but he will see how hard you work to be a good father and husband and that will show him, trust me. My dad smoked, had a temper, worked too hard, but I always knew he loved us because of his words and actions and everything he did.”

“I guess I had that with my mom, my dad, well you already know that business.”

Amy sat up, straining a little, “Jake, he’s kicking, feel it, quick!”

Jake situated himself and placed his hand on her stomach, his face turning into a huge smile as he felt the kick, “this never gets old, ever, we did that. You’re growing a mini us in you, it’s so fucking amazing.”

Amy nodded, “I agree, and you forgot to add swearing to your list of bad habits.”

Jake chuckled, “true dat, but when you lose your temper, I mean really lose it, he’ll hear plenty.”

Eight days later, they were getting out of the car to go to doctor’s office, Jake’s seat was super far forward because the car was loaded with an incredible amount of gifts from a baby shower thrown by the nine-nine. Jake couldn’t wait to meet JJ so he could put on the vintage baby adidas and vans Charles had bought for him, and Amy was thrilled that Villegas, a skilled mechanic, had gone in with Simmons, Lou, and Rosa to buy and fix up a Subaru station wagon for Jake. Lou, knowing Jake’s love for rims even put on some spinners that Amy didn’t like but could tolerate. They both felt overwhelmed by all that the precinct had done for them, Amy had to be in a wheelchair since she was still technically on bed rest, but they both loved the event and it made them more anxious to finally meet their son.

Amy had to go through several scans and tests while Jake waited nervously, when the doctor finally arrived, she was all smiles.

“Amy, Jake, great news, the abruption has nearly healed one hundred percent, I recommend one more week of limited walking and movement, it doesn’t have to be bed rest, but after next week’s check-up I think you should be fine for light activities, but walking won’t be an issue, except maybe for your feet.”

Amy sighed, “yeah, they hurt, but it will be worth the pain to move around, I get so bored there in bed all the time.”

“I sympathize, but you can’t argue with the results, you are looking great and baby Peralta is looking great as well. It is nearly Thanksgiving, I could see this baby coming between Christmas and the New Year, I know that’s earlier than expected, but I’ve gotten pretty good at these things if anyone wants to place money on it.”

“Doctor,” Amy looked very serious, “now that the partial abruption is healing, we were wondering about the impact of intercourse on it and the baby.”

Jake took a sharp breath as he heard her say that and coughed as he struggled to get air, “Ames, really, I can wait.”

Amy looked at him, “maybe you can, mama needs some.”

Jake felt himself turning read as his palm hit his forehead, “Ames, seriously.”

Doctor Gamble laughed, “Jake, it’s okay, these are normal questions, believe me. Amy, I don’t see sex being an issue or a danger to you, as long as you don’t put weight on your stomach. If you are on top, not putting weight on it or Jake is a spooning position from behind.”

Jake was now sweating, “Ames, I’m okay, we can wait.”

Dr. Gamble had to put a hand to her mouth now as she laughed at Jake’s uncomfortable reaction, “Jake, this is normal. Some women feel more sexual desires during certain stages of the pregnancy, some women just need to feel loved and wanted as they deal with their changing bodies, it can be psychological and emotional lift for them, it’s very normal.”

Amy shook her head, “forget emotional needs, Amy needs to feel good.”

Jake couldn’t believe this was Amy talking, “Ames, you do know we’re not alone, right?”

Amy stared at him, “Jake, relax, she’s a doctor, she’s dealt with this. We’re not in public or around the precinct, so we’re fine, you’ve said worse in public.”

Jake wiped the sweat off his brow with his sleeve, “okay, I give, this is perfectly normal.”

As Jake brought in the last of the stuff from Amy’s car, his old car was being towed away for scrap, also a gift from the squad and his new Subaru was in their driveway, Jake didn’t love owning a station wagon, but it had four wheel drive, a good engine and it looked cool, so he conceded and was more than grateful for the generous gift.

He put a few things in the garage and his phone buzzed, it was a text from Amy.

Amy: 911 – bedroom now, hurry

Jake slammed the door down and locked it as he hurried in the house and up the stairs, when he entered the bedroom expecting his wife to be in pain, she was instead naked and smiling. Jake was out of breath, “Ames, the text said 911, I wasn’t expecting this.”

Amy propped her self up a little, “really? After our doctor’s appointment, the term is horny Jake, I’m horny, think four drink Amy without the booze.”

Jake kicked of his shoes and nearly fell down as he was undressing quickly, he had wanted this himself, but he would never pressure his pregnant wife on bedrest into anything just for him, no matter how horny he might feel, that just wasn’t him, he’d hate himself if was that selfish with all she must be going through physically. As he pulled off his last sock he fell to the bed and was immediately grabbed and pulled towards Amy, her lips crashing, yet softly, against his own, her tongue moving with purpose and passion, her hands forceful yet tender. 

“Jake, I need to feel good, really good.”

Jake moaned as her hand wrapped around his erection, “shit, Ames, take it easy or I won’t last, I haven’t been this turned on in a long time.”

“I’ve felt like this for a few days, it sucked because I couldn’t do anything, but now, I need to feel good.”

“I know, really good.” Jake slowly moved his fingers to her slick folds, finding her spot and then slowly rubbing as she pushed his head to her breasts.

“Use your tongue, but softly, my nipples are so sensitive right now, but I need this.”

Jake was very careful to be soft yet firm, so his wife could get the release she yearned for and obviously ready for. Amy soon arched her back and moaned, much louder than normal, she turned her back to him and gently led him to her entrance, Jake pushed in and was sure he had never felt her so wet, ever.

As he moved in his wife, every push elicited a sound from Amy, soon he felt himself releasing as she yelled, “fuck, Jake, yes, just like this!”

Amy turned and kissed him tenderly then she laid on her back, she closed her eyes and he wasn’t sure, but he thought she may have fallen asleep in just a few seconds. As he watched his exhausted wife, he marveled at her beauty again. Small beads of sweat, he wasn’t sure if they belonged to him or her, still lingered on her stomach, her breasts, more perfect than ever, Jake knew he could never love his wife more than he did at that moment, it felt impossible to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you’re liking this. It’s great motivation to write.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrap up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’ve enjoyed this, I am writing another in the same series.

Thanksgiving had been great, Amy and Jake spent it with Amy’s family in New Jersey, he thought the huge number of Santiago relatives would freak him out, but he had an enjoyable time. It was weird to see over twenty different people touching Amy’s belly to feel JJ kick, but everyone was pleasant, and the only one who annoyed him, Amy’s brother Mark, teased Jake about helping prepare the food and clean up afterward, but he failed to see his dad standing behind him who gave him hell for his stupidity and told him that he wasn’t so backward, he might not be divorced.

Jake was back at work, for few weeks, doing desk work, so he and Amy talked often. After a week of this, everyone at the Nine-Nine was speechless when Holt told Jake he could work from home to assist his wife, he never did that, ever.

As Amy’s pregnancy grew to an end, she began to feel anxious, there was so much unknown to her as first time mother. Her nightmares returned for a time, Swayze and the others torturing her, or killing Jake, but every time she woke up, Jake was right there, assuring her she was okay and that Swayze was dead.

They planned a small Christmas, just the two of them since soon life would be hectic. Jake had celebrated Hanukah with Amy, but he wanted to make her Christmas special for her, since the past seven months had been among the craziest of most people’s lives. Jake had woken up early and set out the presents he had been hiding from her, when he heard her stir and then use the bathroom, he was excited, he had tried to put a lot of effort into everything, when he heard her footsteps come down the stairs, “In here Ames.”

Amy walked into the living room, “Jake, I thought we said only a few gifts.

Jake motioned for her to sit on his lap in the recliner, “for me, but you’re carrying a human, I would be a terrible person if I didn’t show my appreciation.”

They opened presents, Jake had bought Amy several frames for pictures of JJ and herself and some jewelry with her birthstone and JJ’s birthstone

“Ames, what is it?”

“We need to go to the hospital, I’m bleeding, and I think the baby’s coming.”

Jake nodded and hurried to pull on some jeans and get his shoes on, Amy was quiet and mostly groaned in pain. As they were rushed in the ER, Jake felt worried, would the childbirth be yet another Amy and Jake moment of terror. Their wedding and pregnancy had been full of shock and awe.

Within thirty minutes, Amy’s doctor, Dr. Gamble, arrived, she ran some tests and entered Amy’s room, now in the maternity ward. “Amy, your bleeding is nothing to worry about, I think it is related to the tear, which looks fine, but scar tissue can cause that, but everything looks great. How far apart are your contractions?”

Jake wanted to kick himself, he hadn’t been asking the right questions or helping her, “about four minutes now.”

Jake was about to apologize when Amy screamed, Dr. Gamble examined her again, “prep the room!”

Lights were turned on, more nurses came in, Jake was in a state of pure confusion, he felt like he was in an out of body experience but was brought back to earth when he heard the cry of a child, his child.”

Jake watched in awe as his wife, the very one who had been kidnapped and tortured, the very one who had suffered so much, now cried tears of happiness as she held their son in her arms.

“Jake, you’ve been in state. Come say hi to JJ.” More tears lightly fell down her cheeks, Jake was at her side and looked at his face for the first time, JJ had a lot of hair for a baby he thought, but he looked perfect.

“Jake?” Amy nudged him, “You’ve been so quiet, are you okay?”

He nodded slowly, “yeah, it’s just, look at him. He wasn’t even supposed to happen, and then we were happy, then more bad shit happened, but then we were okay, again, and now, he’s here, and look at him Ames.”

She rested her head softly on Jake’s arm, “I am.”

“He’s so perfect, no other word, just perfect.”

Jake made the calls, to everyone, and soon the relatives descended. Jake’s mom cried uncontrollably, Victor just smiled and called the baby Josecíto at least thirty times, Camila sang songs in Spanish that made Amy cry. Jake let JJ and Amy rest, and then he allowed the Nine-Nine to come. Terry assured him that he and Holt had held a briefing and gone over acceptable behaviors, but Jake was still nervous.

Terry and Holt entered first, Terry was misty eyed, and Holt seemed uneasy. Rosa hit Jake on the arm a bunch and smiled at JJ in a way that almost seemed terrifying to Jake. Rosa and Holt left, Terry faced the new parents, “are we ready?”

The looked at each other and nodded, Charles burst through the door, already crying, “he’s so perfect you guys, so perfect. I told you, your baby, would be perfect.!”

“Boyle, we talked about this, no yelling, it’s a hospital.” Terry was speaking softly yet firmly. “Amy, you look wonderful.”

Amy smiled, “thanks Charles, but I must look awful and I I’m okay with that.”

Charles hugged Jake, “this is amazing Jakey, you’re a daddy, I think I’ll call you daddy from now on, daddy.”

Jake made a face and shook his head vigorously, “no, if you call me that I’ll have Rosa beat you with her nightstick, and you know she would.”

Charles hung his head, “yeah, she would. I’m just so happy for you two, a baby, and he’s gorgeous.”

Jake couldn’t help but smile now, “thanks, he is.”

Others came and went, the grandparents returned, again, and at the end of the day, Jake felt exhausted and knew Amy must feel one hundred times that tired. He sat in the rocking chair watching as Amy slept with JJ tucked at her side, he knew what a baby looked like, he knew the birth wouldn’t be easy for Amy, but as he watched her now he had never felt more in awe of her.

JJ sighed softly as Jake watched them, he shifted in the rocker and his thoughts went to how inadequate he had felt, he still felt that way now, but seeing his son in front of him with his wife who had experienced one the more difficult pregnancies he could imagine, he knew he would do anything and everything for this family. Victor’s words came his mind, perfect no, not close, but good or as close to good as he could get, that would be good enough and better than anything he had growing up, and that was good enough for him.

Amy stirred a little later, “Jake, why aren’t you trying to sleep? The couch is set up for you.”

“I know, I was just watching you and JJ.”

Amy reached out and held his hand, “I can’t believe we have a baby, after all we went through, it was both the worst time of my life and yet at times the best.”

Jake grinned, “yeah, that’s pretty much us, eh?”

“Does that worry you for having JJ?”

Jake shook his head while taking in his son again, “no, I mean, stuff will happen, for sures, but it’s us, we’ll come out better, somehow, we always do.”


End file.
